Thursday, May 7, 2020

The Ballbusting Olympics: Punch Ball (revisited)

Since more than half of our readers discovered this blog less than five years ago I thought it would be nice to re-introduce some older stories for those who didn't catch them when they were first published. Enjoy!



Featured in this story: DannyKevLeoParker and Zach (click for pictures)

Previous parts:
Middle of the night
Research
Committee meeting
Eggheads
Second committee meeting
Another committee meeting
Booking the show
Lucky cock (The last committee meeting)
Opening Ceremony
Nutball
Danny's interviews 1
Roshambo
Danny's interviews 2
Deal with Phil
Ball Breaker
Danny's interviews 3
Squash
Danny's interviews 4
Beckhamania

“We’ve got five minutes before the competition starts,” I told Chad as we walked toward the central control room.

The audience was in a very good mood and the twelve guys who had met David Beckham were greeted with cheers and applause as they limped back to their seats.

Danny, our strawberry-haired actor-turned-commentator was sitting in the commentator’s box.

“Was that---“

“Yeah, I think it was”, I interrupted him, slightly annoyed. “Listen, guys, could we just move on?”

Chad and Danny shrugged.

“Yeah, of course”, Danny said.

“Thank you”, I said and sat down.

A few moments later the show began.

The gym filled with applause when the music started.

“Welcome to the final day of competition here at the Ballbusting Olympics”, Danny said into the microphone. “Today it’s Punch Ball. It’s quite simple: The contestants are going to punch each other in the nuts. They go alternately for 1 minute at a time. Giving up, collapsing on the ground, or passing out means that you lose – you lose the match and probably the ability to father children, as well. “ Danny chuckled. “It’s gonna be an interesting battle… And here are the athletes. The skaters with Leo, Tristan and Sammy; the gymnasts with Parker, Michael and Will; the jocks with Kev, Colin and Ben; and the frat guys with AJ, Reese and poor Zach, or ‘Big Balls’, a nickname he earned around here because of--- well I think I don’t have to explain that... Zach had a very hard time last week. If you tuned in last week to our Squash competition, you have witnessed the juice getting squeezed out of his huge nuts. It was not a pretty sight… There were some rumors that he might have left the team, or that he might have been fired. But apparently he made up with Reese and AJ. Anyway, he is here tonight.”

The athletes stood on the stage, wearing nothing but tight white briefs that displayed their equipments.

“And here is our umpire, star soccer player and happy Englishman Phil”, Danny announced.

Redhead Phil smiled and took a bow as the audience cheered and whistled. He was wearing his umpire’s uniform: skimpy black shorts and a tight black t-shirt.

“Look at his muscular legs”, Danny said dreamily. “No wonder he is the up-and-coming star of American soccer… Well, anyway, now the teams are gonna choose who will compete in Punch Ball. First up are the skaters and they choose… Leo. Leo is 19 years old and 6’3” tall. He has already competed in the Ballbusting Olympics, receiving bronze in Roshambo. So maybe he is gonna add another medal to his collection…”

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