Sunday, June 17, 2012

Meet the cousins

I was on the night train to Amsterdam Centraal, reading Val McDermid's newest thriller that I had bought at the main station in Hamburg. Usually, reading a well-written novel was a great way for me to relax - but my thought were wandering.

Yesterday morning, everything had been okay between my brother and me. Then, we had met an old buddy of mine at a café in Hamburg. I rubbed my crotch and grimaced. I was pretty sure Lukas was proud of himself. He had done some damage - to my testicles and to the relationship between my brother Peter and me.

The pain in my nuts wasn't what I was worried about. I had taken my fair share of nutshots - and, frankly, I should have guessed that Lukas would be up to his old tricks... He had squeezed and punched my balls in the café - and then he had left to get his cock sucked by the waitress. When he hadn't returned after 15 minutes, I left the café. The blowjob had probably led to some fucking. Lukas hadn't changed one bit.

The damage that Lukas had done to the relationship between Peter and me was a different matter, though. Lukas had told Peter about the game show I had created, and he had provided quite a lot of detail. It was news to Peter - and I was pretty sure that my prude, up-tight brother had some awful pictures in his head right now...

Sunday, June 10, 2012


When I woke up the next day, I could still feel the pain in my nuts. I was at my older brother's apartment in Hamburg, taking a break from work. Peter was a few years older than me, and while it was nice to see him again after all those years, it felt a bit awkward. And that awkwardness had slightly increased yesterday, when a couple of stupid accidents led to a lot of nut pain on my side - and quite a bit of embarrassement on Peter's...

I got up and walked into the bathroom. Peter was brushing his teeth.

"Morning", I said.

Peter nodded, toothpaste running out the corner of his mouth.

I pointed to the big orange hairdryer that had slammed into my balls last night. It was sitting on one of the upper shelves. "Nice. You placed do-it-yourself castration tool out of reach, huh?"

Peter blushed and looked at me, a devastated look on his face. Then he gargled with some mouth wash.

I tried to lighten up his mood. "What do you have in store for my nuts today, huh? Why don't we get done with it right away and I let you kick me in the junk a couple of times..."

Peter grimaced with discomfort. "I'm really sorry about... you know... hitting you in the unmentionables..."

Saturday, June 2, 2012

Oh brother!

After having worked hard for more than four months, it was time for a break. We had just finished a great first season with  "The Balls Of Others", and Nikolai, the TV station's manager had told me that we'd be renewed for a second season. Of course, Nikolai's sister had started a show on her own TV station that covered the same ground and was even more successful - but we had worked hard to stay competitive.

In the last few weeks, I had done dozens of interviews promoting our show. Nikolai's channel was broadcasting all over Europe, so I found myself travelling from Stockholm to Madrid, from Warshaw to Paris, from Vienna to Oslo, from Rome to London. It was exhausting. And on top of that, I didn't even like the attention. I didn't like doing interviews - I was used to working behind the camera. But Nikolai had decided we needed a face for the promotion. And since we didn't have a host, I was the next best thing. Most of the time, I'd take a couple of stagehands with me to provide a bit of entertainment. I'd do the interview and then there'd be a short segments where our stagehands would ask a good looking guy from the audience or - if there was no audience - the host of the show to step up and get their balls busted.

I vividly remember the show in Italy. The musical guests were One Direction, some boy band from the UK. After my interview, the host asked the boys on stage and the stagehands had a great time crunching their nuts. The audience was mostly teenage girls who didnt' stop screamed while their idols' genitals were manhandled. One of the guys (I think his name was Henry or Harry or something) even dropped his pants and showed off his naked nuts, and the stagehands gladly accepted the challenge. They made him place his junk on the host's table and smashed them repeatedly with a wooden mallet. The girls went wild, and the guy nearly puked.