Monday, June 30, 2014

World Cup Testers: Germany

Featured in this story: the twins (click for pictures)

Thomas Müller and Mesut Özil burst out laughing.

Both of them star midfielders on the German national soccer team, they were wearing the team’s home kit, black shorts and white shirts with white socks and soccer cleats.

24-year-old Thomas looked at his buddy and grinned. “Gleich gibt’s Rühreier…”

Mesut broke out laughing.

We were at the FIFA World Cup in Brazil, working with young marketing consultant Kieran to shoot a couple of video clips promoting BULL’S EYE protective cups. Kieran had come up with a simple idea that had convinced the BULL’S EYE executives, and we had been able to sign some of the most prolific and successful soccer players of the world to participate in our little skits.

“What did he say?” Kieran asked me.

I grinned. “They are looking forward to it”, I said. “He joked about scrambling some eggs.”

Sunday, June 29, 2014

World Cup Testers: Netherlands

Featured in this story: Kev (click for pictures)

Jasper Cillessen had a wide grin on his face. The 25 year old goalkeeper of the Dutch soccer team, must have experienced hundreds of memorable moments on the field but today, it seemed, was a special day for him.

He was wearing his light green soccer clothes, a jersey, a loose pair of shorts, socks and socker cleats.

He greeted 20 year old Kev with a firm handshake. Kev was the prototypical jock, a handsome guy, tall and fit, with muscles in all the right places.

“Nice to meet you”, Jasper said, smiling.

Kev grinned. “Likewise. I gotta say, I’m not much of a soccer fan, I’m more a baseball kind of guy, you know. But I heard a lot about you and from what I’ve seen on the internet you have a strong kick. Especially when the ball’s not rolling.” He chuckled. “I guess I’ll get some first-hand experience today, huh?”

Jasper laughed. “Well, that’s what we’re here for, right?” He playfully slapped the big bulge in Kev’s jockstrap.

Saturday, June 28, 2014

World Cup Testers: Brazil

Featured in this story: Leo (click for pictures)

Neymar da Silva Santos Júnior cracked his knuckles. “I’ve been looking forward to this”, he grinned. The Brazilian star soccer player was shirtless, wearing a pair of blue shorts, white socks and bright pink soccer cleats.

Millions of fans, male and female, were in awe of the 22 year old’s outstanding skills on the field. He was the top goal scorer for the Brazilian national team and the star of countless wet dreams worldwide.

Neymar was a great looking guy and he knew it. Every opportunity he got, he took off his jersey and showed the world his muscular abs and chest.

He had agreed to film a commercial for a healthy sum of money, and he looked like he was going to enjoy it.

“You just kick him in the nuts as hard as you can”, marketing consultant Kieran explained. The 23 year old had scored a million dollar deal with BULL’S EYE protective cups who wanted to break into the market and weren’t afraid of breaking a couple of balls in the process.

Kieran’s idea was simple. Step 1: Film famous soccer players kicking hot guys in the nuts. Step 2: Post the videos on youtube. And before you can say Step 3, the videos go viral and BULL’S EYE protects every single nut in the Northern hemisphere.

We had brought a couple of our models to Brazil to provide the nuts for Kieran’s marketing campaign. Money wasn’t an issue so we had been able to pay the guys extraordinarily well, and it seemed that they were looking forward to getting their balls smashed as much as the players were looking forward to smashing them.

Our skater boy Leo, 19 years old, tall and lanky with curly black hair and brown eyes, came out of the changing room, naked except for the product we were going to promote. He was wearing a jockstrap with a big, red bull’s eye on the front. In his right hand, he was holding the matching cup, a cheap plastic thing with a similar bull’s eye on it.

“Here are the balls”, Kieran smiled, pointing at Leo’s midsection.

Friday, June 27, 2014

Hotdogs: Zach's ballbash barbecue (2)

Update 11/24/2018: Artwork restored.

Special thanks to my friend Champ for the inspiration, the idea, a lot of plot details - and this awesome piece of art!

Featured in this story: Ben, CalKev and Zach (click for pictures)

It took Kev and Zach a couple of minutes until they were sitting at the table, occasionally rubbing their sore equipment that was barely covered by their skimpy clothing.

Ben stood in front of the grill. Grimacing in pain, he grabbed the tong and picked up the thick piece of meat that resembled Zach’s heavy dick.

“Okay, it’s ready. Who---“

“Me!” Both Zach and Cal raised their arms.

Ben raised his eyebrows. “Want me to cut it in half?”

Both Zach and Cal looked at the obscene hotdog and winced, comically covering their crotches. They shook their head simultaneously.

Kev rolled his eyes. “Okay, guys, let’s solve this the manly way. The one with the biggest cock gets the biggest hotdog.” He grinned. “Whip ‘em out, guys. Dicks on the table.”

Zach chuckled. “No prob.” He weighed his heavy package in his hand and smirked at Cal. “I’m game.”

Thursday, June 26, 2014

World Cup Testers: Kickoff

The FIFA World Cup inspired me to write a couple of short stories that I’m going to publish over days of the Eighth-Finals (Saturday thru Tuesday). I whipped them out very spontaneously this week after catching a serious case of Wold Cup Fever and watching almost all of the World Cup matches so far... The stories are pretty straight-forward and simple... I hope you enjoy them! (And make sure to watch the game today! Keep your fingers crossed for Team USA and Germany to advance to the knockout round... :-))

Featured in this story: Phil (click for pictures)

“We have a deal, then?” the attractive young marketing consultant extended his hand.

“Yeah”, I said, smiling. We shook hands.

His name was Kieran and he was wearing a smart black suit with a white shirt and black leather shoes. He had a trained, muscular body, a tanned complexion and tousled brown hair.

“This is going to be one hell of a campaign”, he chuckled. “The videos are going to explode all over the internet.” There was a hint of insecurity in his handsome face. “Right?”

“Absolutely”, I assured him. “Everybody loves a good nutshot. And what better way to promote the new BULL’S EYE protective cups than the FIFA World Cup?”

“That’s what I told them”, Kieran nodded emphatically. “I hope they’ll go for it. I mean, money isn’t the problem. They have more than enough to pay the best soccer players in the world to kick a few balls. I told them, ‘Let’s do it at the World Cup. All the players that you want are there, and everybody is talking about them.’ I’ve already talked to some of them and I’ve got very positive feedback. Apparently, they are jumping at the chance to kick some human balls around for a change…” Kieran chuckled.

“So you really believe in the product, huh?” I asked.

Kieran stared at me. “Of course not. I mean, would you buy a protective cup with a bull’s eye on it?” He scoffed. “I’ve played baseball for most of my life and I would never ever wear that thing. You’re basically inviting your team mates to have a go at your nuts, right?”

Friday, June 20, 2014

Hotdogs: Zach's ballbash barbecue (1)

Update 11/24/2018: Artwork restored.

Special thanks to my friend Champ for the inspiration, the idea, a lot of plot details - and this awesome piece of art!

Featured in this story: Ben, CalKev and Zach (click for pictures)

“Hey Zach, this hotdog is almost as big as your cock!” Ben shouted, laughing.

The 20 year old jock was standing at the barbecue grill, wearing nothing but a pair of skimpy black speedos that were barely able to contain his ample manhood. The flimsy fabric was bulging, leaving nothing to the imagination, showing the outline of Ben’s juicy cock and his big nuts.

Ben’s muscular body was glistening with sweat. It was a hot summer day, and the fact that Ben had volunteered to operate the grill and was standing near the fire made his sweat pores work in overdrive.

In the pool, muscular swimmer Cal was floating on a pool ring, his eyes closed, enjoying the sun.

“Huh?” Zach grunted. The blond frat guy wasn’t paying attention. He was wearing a tight-fitting grey t-shirt and a pair of blue baseball shorts that looked like they were a little bit too small to hold his oversized genitalia. He had a huge dick and a hefty pair of balls to match. His short blond hair disappeared under a blue baseball cap.

He was playing catch with Kev, each of them having their left hand inside a baseball glove, throwing a baseball back and forth. Zach’s heavy wooden baseball bat was lying in the grass near the pool. Someone from Zach’s frat had written “Zach has an even bigger one” near the Rawling’s “Big Stick” logo.

Just like Zach, Kev was wearing a ridiculously tight-fitting pair of old school baseball shorts that looked like they were about to burst at the seams. At the back, his muscular butt was pressing against the green fabric, at the front, his big package was pushing forward. Kev had thrown his t-shirt onto the ground and was playing shirtless, displaying his muscular, tan chest.

“I said, this hotdog is almost as big as your dick”, Ben repeated.