I got a phone call from Danny’s brother David today. He is a dancer in a ballet group and he has a pretty strange relationship with his brother. The last time I saw David, he kicked the hell out of his older brother’s balls and had a lot of fun doing it, too.
He called me to announce that he was coming to town in March.
“I already told you that I'll be in town with our tour of Tchaikowsky's 'Nutcracker'. If can get you free tickets if you want to see it - but I'm supposed you wouldn't like it. I'm the best looking dancer in the troupe. The others don't even come near. So I'd be the only one you could ogle during the performance", David said, being his natural egocentric self.
I was a bit annoyed. "David, apparently he think I'm a mindless philistine who only has eyes for the male physique. In fact I---"
"Yeah, alright, stop it, I'll get you free tickets. Pearls befor swine. But who cares", he sighed.
"David", I started to get upset. "You---"
David interrupted me. "Will you calm down? You got what you wanted. Now shush!"
I swallowed my pride and said: "Thanks, David."
"You're welcome", he replied. "And I'm doing you another favor."
"Oh, you are?"
"Yeah", David continued. "I’m planning to pay you a visit with my brother. I think I'll practice a few of my kicks with him and I thought your studio will be the best place for that. I know you like to see my brother get beaten---”
I started to protest.
"Yeah, yeah, I know you and your kind. And I know my brother likes the way I treat him."
I doubted that. Danny hadn't seemed to happy about his brother's handling of his balls. But on the other hand - he hadn't stopped him, either.
"And it's a bit of stress relief for me. The tour is very strenuous and it's gonna be a welcome diversion to kick Danny's balls for a change. My ugly co-dancers' nuts aren't as sturdy as Danny's. And they are complaining all the time... So, can we use your studio?" David asked.
"Okay", I said.
“I thought so”, David replied. “Be sure to prepare the camera – I will give Danny’s balls a beating he won’t forget…”
“Does Danny know yet?” I asked.
“Why?” he asked back.
“Well, I don’t know, I could tell him---"
"You keep mum about it. I'll tell him when I think it's the right moment", David said.
"David, can I ask you something?" I said.
David didn't reply. I didn't know if that meant yes or no but a few moments later David said impatiently: "What are you waiting for? Go on, ask!"
I cleared my throat. "Erm, why do you treat your brother like that?"
David laughed. "None of your business!"
"Well", I continued, "you sound pretty determined to to pound Danny’s pouch. I just don't know why."
“Does a guy have to have a reason to smash his beloved brother’s marbles?” David asked impatiently.
“Well…”
“Listen”, David said. “Danny and I don’t see each other very often. And when we do I like to make the best of it. You know, catch up on the old times…”
“I see”, I said, utterly clueless about what David was trying to tell me. On the other hand I didn’t really have to know why he was so keen on ruining his brother’s manhood. All that mattered was that he was keen on doing it. And I was happy to do the camera work…
“So do we have a deal?” David asked.
“Yeah, sure”, I said quickly.
“Fine. If there are any changes in our schedules I’ll let you know. Otherwise we’ll meet on March the 5th. Okay?”
“Okay”, I replied.
Man, I'm happy he isn’t my brother…