MUSIC SCHOOL: SCRAMBLED EGGS AND A SECRETARY

The studio booth was busy…people coming in and going out.

Alex walked into the booth. “Jimmy, let’s talk about the next segment of Zach the Man.”

“But first,” Jimmy pointed to a hot brunette. “This is Michelle Notaro. She is doubling here at the studio as tech person and your Secretary.”

“I get a Secretary?”

“Yes. You’re an exec around here. Therefore, you get a Secretary. I also have another surprise for you. Michelle,” he looked over at Michelle, “show him his other surprise.”

“Come with me, Mr. Nehling.”

Alex followed Michelle out the back door. “What is the surprise?”

“If it wasn’t a surprise, I could tell you.”

MUSIC SCHOOL: ZACH THE MAN...AND THEN SOME

The first finished product was ready for preview by the actors and executives over at Ballbusting Boys Buffalo.

Alex looked over at Jimmy. “From what I know of this project, I am not sure if the old title Zach the Cheater will be enough to cover the wider concept.”

Zach, sitting in the corner chair, looked up, “I don’t think it is enough for my ego.”

Alex smiled, “Thanks, Zach.” Looking at Jimmy, he continued, “Anyway, do you have a new title or a working title?”

“Yes.”

“What is it?”

“Zach the Man.”

Somewhat surprised, Alex repeated, “Zach the Man?”

MUSIC SCHOOL: DISCOGRAPHY FOR PARTS 1-5

Hey all!

I hope you are enjoying the musical journey unfolding in "Music School." Do not worry, there will be more ballbusting amid the music.

Every five posts, I shall post a discography. The music selected is primarily from the catalogue of my favorite rock 'n roll record producer, Phil Spector.

The Conception

The record Jimmy was listening to was:
You Came, You Saw, You Conquered! The Ronettes (1969)

Jimmy and Alex Meet….Per Chance

The record on the radio was:
Uptown The Crystals (1962)

Pianos and Pink Briefs

The record Sally was referring to:
Lord, If You’re a Woman Darlene Love (Released 1977)

A New Beginning at a New Studio
The record which would have described Sally’s feelings for Alex:
Born to be Together The Ronettes (1965)

Zach, Sammy and a Swollen Sack

The record played at the beginning of the story:
It’s Too Late to Say You’re Sorry Darlene Love

The record on which the hook was based:
Run, Run, Runaway Darlene Love (Album Release from 1976)

Sandy’s two records:
He’s a Doll The Honeys (1964)
Walking in the Rain The Ronettes (1964)

The song on the radio in the kitchen:
Spanish Harlem Ben E. King (1961)

I hope you enjoy the tunes! JD

MUSIC SCHOOL: ZACH, SAMMY AND A SWOLLEN SACK

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MUSIC SCHOOL: NEW BEGINNING IN A NEW STUDIO

The fake diamonds reflected around the “Andrews, Murdock and Silverstein” sign hanging proudly in the Lobby.

Bobby looked up from his magazine, “What the hell takes lawyers so long? Why couldn’t we go in?”

Joey responded, “Well, it seems that Alex, Jimmy and Salvatore are the only three they need beside Mr. Mallone.”

“Maybe we should ask to get in.”

“No.”

“Dude --"

“No, I, myself, am just going to sit here and read magazines…even if it be Golf Digest.”

“That has to be worse than the All-Golf Channel.”

“No, better. This way, you don’t have to listen to the commentators make comments on how the ball just ‘sits on the sand like a beached whale.’ You know, no stupid comments like that.”

MUSIC SCHOOL: PIANOS AND PINK BRIEFS

The phone rang at Bobby’s, waking him out of bed early for a Saturday. “H-h-hello.”

“Drop your cock and pick up your socks. Let’s go. It’s piano day today. I took Mrs. Birch to breakfast. We’re on the way to get you.”

“Ummm….”

“Are you jerking off?”

“No.”

“Then what the hell are you waiting for?”

“OK, OK. I’ll be ready in fifteen minutes.”

“Alright, I’ll be there.”

Click. Bobby got out of bed and stood before his full length mirror. He reached down into his boxers and took his balls in his hand, thinking, Poor babies…I wonder what’s going to happen to you today.

MUSIC SCHOOL: JIMMY AND ALEX MEET….PER CHANCE

Rolling his eyes in frustration as the time ticks away, Jimmy looked over at Bobby. “I’m going to go out and get some fresh air. Call me when the guy is ready.”

“Alright, man,” Bobby said while reading Newsweek.

Walking outside, Jimmy looked to his left and saw a guy sitting outside an office building down the block. Wearing a shirt and jeans? Outside an office building? In Buffalo? It’s a wonder Security hasn’t run him off. He figured, what the hell?

Approaching him, he is not sure if he should. Too late! “Hey, man, how are you?”

Looking surprised, he said, “I’m doing well. You?”

“I am well. You’re kind of underdressed for this section of the city.”

“I don’t see you wearing a three-piece suit. Anyway, my name is Alex.” He extended his hand.

“Jimmy,” he said as he shook his hand. “So, what brings you down here?”

MUSIC SCHOOL: THE CONCEPTION

Pacing back and forth in front of the record player, Jimmy’s mind was riding the violins until….

“Hey, dude,” Bobby said as he poked him. “When are you going to stop listening to the Ronettes and get to writing our songs?”

“When I rip your balls off,” he replied as he grabbed Bobby’s balls through his jeans.

“Whoa! Dude!” Bobby put his hands up. “OK, OK. I’m sorry.”

Jimmy released his balls, just to give them a quick slap. As Bobby grimaced, he said, “Now, you know that when I listen to Uncle Phil, I am pissed off. You know that, when I am pissed off, I could very well suspend your sex life for a good while.” Bobby nodded as he continued, “Now take your happy, or not so happy, ass over there and sit down.” As Bobby walked away, he motioned to Joey, “Get him a beer. He needs one.”

Bobby watched him pace from the couch. Noticing him, Jimmy kept pacing as the record faded out. Joey, bringing Bobby his beer, said, “That broad has a hell of a voice.”

“I know. That broad is Ronnie Spector. She has a name,” Jimmy responded.

“I think Bobby here should sing along with her. Play that record again.”

The Ballbusting Olmpics 2010: BOC Meeting

RAY

*Thanks to FireCrotchRox for suggesting this new method of Nutball.

Kev entered the studio with Ben and Collin following. We were having a BOC meeting, something that we're not having much of this time around. We were not having many meetings for the simple reason that I wanted things done faster, which is I was forced to dethrone Kev as chairman, but he is still a contributor. But tragedy struck. Normally each event is going to be given two days, the first four preliminary matches on day 1, and the four Medal Matched on day 2, but there was an event scheduled in the gym, and we would have to cut Nutball short one day, meaning we would have to squeeze 8 matches in one day, and there might not be enough time. I gathered the entire BOC for this crisis, me, Phil, Chad, Vince, Kev, Ben, and Collin. The last 3 were the last to arrive. We sat down.

"So what's this whole deal?" asked Phil.

"Well, basically," answered Chad, "their having a basketball game in the gym the day after Nutball."

"And we need time to empty out the equipment," added Vince. "Although we should be up in running in time for our second event, Roshambo."

The Ballbusting Olympics 2010: Danny's interviews 1

RAY

I was a bit surprised when Danny told me he would still be doing interviews after the events. He said he might have to excuse himself days he competes. I uploaded the video he sent me. It was Danny standing outside the gym. He interviewed a few random people, all of them said they were looking forward to the ceremonies. One of the first noteworthy people e interviewed was Seth, Logan's High School pal.

"Seth," said Danny, "I understand you and all your pals are here to support Josiah E. Bartlet High in these games?"

"Ya, well, you know, School spirit," he replied.

"Yes, well anyway, the thing most people want to know about is that little incident with Phil. So you asked him to kick you in the nuts?"

"Well, I wanted something a little more than an autograph, though I got one of those too, and considering where we were and the fact that he kicked things for a living, it seemed appropriate. Besides, I'm such a huge fan of Phil, I felt like a fan girl meeting him, it's nothing short of an honor to be kicked in the nuts by him. Still a bt sore though," Seth replied as he rubbed his package.

"So why are you such a fan?" asked Danny?

The Ballbusting Olympics 2010: Opening Ceremony

RAY

There was an a feel of excitement in the air as we got ready for the Opening Ceremonies of the 2010 Ballbusting Olympics. Me and most of the guys were outside the gym. There were lines of mostly guys waiting to get a ticket. There was so many people, we thought the gym was going to reach full capacity.

"Wow, this is a bigger outcome than last year," said Kev. "Good part is the camera's are already set up, and will be broadcasting on T.V's all over campus. And it's being streamed on the college site. Granted, Collin had to fuck the producer again."

I chuckled, when we ran into a few friends of Logan's. Gary, a dark blond boy, Leroy a black guy with curly short hair, Seth, a boy with black hair, Kim a handsome looking Asian, Hector a young Hispanic youth who was rather tall and skinny, and Dash, a dark haired boy with a scowl on his face. They all seemed to be on their way to find seats. When they saw Logan, CJ, and Speedy they all began to cheer and pat them on the back.

"Hey, you better make Bartlet High proud," Leroy said.

"Oh shut up," said Speedy. "Logan asked all of you to compete in this thing, and I was the only one with the balls enough to join."

"Oh, your only in one event anyway," remarked CJ.

The Tube

TRAVIS

“Local website seeking guys into creative ball busting…” I had stumbled across the internet ad back in November whilst aimlessly browsing the postings on the campus bulletin board’s ‘Everything Else’ section. As I expected I didn’t hear anything back for weeks… which turned to months. By the time the spring semester was underway I’d forgotten all about the ball busting ad. That’s why I was more than a little surprised when I got a call from a guy named Alex inviting me to join the BallBustingBoys.org team.

I was stunned, and a bit dubious. He apologized for the long delay (apparently my email had been lost in the ‘crush’ of responses, pun intended) and gave me the details for a meet and greet with his camera man Chad to get acquainted with the studio. Alex, unfortunately was off to bust nuts in Europe so I wouldn’t be getting chance to meet him face to face just yet.

However my upcoming visit to the studio left me with one problem, since so much time had passed since I first responded, I’d lost interest in my site hobby or building nut crushing machines (which, sadly, were never tested…) and my most promising design, The Tube, had gone unfinished. But, not wanting to disappoint the BBB.org viewers, it took me less than a few hours to turn The Tube’s blue prints into a working model. Now all I needed was something to test it out on…

“So what, exactly is this thing?” Conrad, my roommate asked, complete bewilderment apparent in his deep voice.

My Arrival

POSTED BY RAY

I entered the studio. I was a bit in shock. I had been a fan of Alex's ever since the site was founded, and watched all the videos and read all the blogs. More recently I began to befriend Alex. When I got the new he was leaving, I was initially crushed, but when he asked to help take over, I was considerably excited. I found I would be 1 of 3 new guys called to help run the site in Alex's absence. I was a bit nervous, considering what I had to live up to. I knew I could never be as good as Alex, but I hoped I could still be a new addition. I was worried if the models would like me or not to be honest. As I entered the studio, I saw Chad, grabbing a beer from the fridge. I walked over to him and introduced myself.

"Hi, I'm Ray Ramirez," I said, offering my hand. Chad shook it.

"Well welcome to the site Ray. I'm pretty sure Alex told you about everything and how things are done, so no need for that right?"

"Ya," I replied. I walked over to Vince. "Hi," I said as we shook hands. "I thought I noticed two camera angles in the recent videos." Vince greeted me, but seemed a bit shy.

"So what's the last thing Alex was working on?" I asked Chad.

"Oh, that would be the Ballbusting Olympics. We never really got past basic planning. You might want to call Kev and get things sorted out. There's an index of the guy's numbers on your desk that Alex left."

"Alright then, thanks. No rest for the wicked I guess," I said with a smile. I head over to my new desk and phoned Kev. He was a bit surprised to be hearing from the new guy. But we did talk a while, mostly business. We discussed the major changes that would be happening in terms of events. After I cleared it with him, I called Will, Leo, and Zach. They were all a bit shocked to be hearing from me, but all said that they would be competing again. Next I called Danny, to set up his interview section, but was a bit surprised by what I got instead. Although Danny seemed the most crestfallen about Alex leaving, after his initial sadness he said something I did not expect.

"Actually, I was talking to my acting buddies, George and Lance, and we were thinking about entering the Olympics...as a team."

I was taken aback. "But I thought you were all about the camera, being an actor I mean. Wouldn't you rather interview?"

"Ya, but people only care about the main events, not the post-game interview. If I really wanna be noticed, I have to enter."

"Well, that sounds good, but we can't have an odd number of teams."

"You can always call some of the other guys, I'm sure you can find 3 more teams."

"I'll try, but I won't make promises."

"Thanks."

After that, I called Kev. He seemed ecstatic to have more teams, as long as there was an even number. So I got to calling people. I called Cal first, he said he, his Asian friend Brandon, and his other friend Bill could enter under the title "Swimmers." Next I called Simon, who said him and his friends Jeff and Larry would enter under "Nerds." I was a bit stuck, and couldn't figure out who to call next. Chad suggested I call Logan, the new addition. So I did. Logan said he new him and some friends would be willing to enter under the title "Students."

That made 8, and I called Kev to discuss it. It all seemed like it would go over smoothly. The Olympics seemed like a great way for me to introduce myself to the site. Things were looking up.

Friendly takeover

Before I left the studio, I put my suitcase down and turned around to take one last look at what had been my world for the last two years. I couldn’t help but smile at the thoughts of those hundreds of nuts that had been crushed under my surveillance… Well, maybe not hundreds, but certainly a high double-digit number…

Last week, I had received a phone call from Germany. A childhood friend of mine needed my help and my expertise. He had started a Pay TV station targeting young males in their twenties. He had bought the rights for a couple of shows: Jackass (and a few Jackass knock-offs), Silent Library (the Skandinavian, the Spanish and the American version), Fist of Zen (the German and the British version) and a couple of others. He was successful with this but now he wanted to up the ante.

He planned on filming an adult show where the contestants would put their balls on the line, and – lo and behold – my name was the first that came to mind when there was a need for the systematic demolition of male genitalia…

I have to admit that I was flattered. I had sent my friend the links to various videos and we had a short conversation on the phone. After voicing his admiration for both style and substance of the videos – and asking warily if there had been any cases of severe damage and legal threats – he had given me the task of casting the contestants as well as directing the show. The working title – which was neither imaginative nor particularly graceful – was “Eiersalat” (translating to “Egg Salad”). We needed to find some European hotties who would be willing to drop their pants and show off their naked goodies on national TV. And let their testicles get cracked, of course. There was a lot of work to do…