From the web: 15 Movie Moments That Made Your Testicles Wither

 

How is that for a title for a post, huh?

When I stumbles across this gem from entertainment outlet WhatCulture, I knew I had to share it with you guys.

The headline and the subheading are both priceless:

15 Movie Moments That Made Your Testicles Wither
These moments make a good argument for voluntary castration.

Hilarious!

Here is the first paragraph:

Getting hit in the nuts is a timeless occurrence. It happens a lot in cartoons, and was a prevalent act among our buddies in middle-school and beyond. Still, watching a "nut shot" on celluloid is probably no longer the hilarious act we once thought it to be, and filmmakers must continually invent new and creative ways to allow us to experience that dropping feeling in our stomachs and loins. As we've matured, of course, we have come to recognize that a shot to the manhood can be not only literal and physical but metaphorical and emotional as well. That being said, this list isn't so much about moments in film that depict glorious crushings of our stick and stones - instead, it's about those moments that really made us feel it in our loins, and possibly our hearts, too... who knew there was such a connection between the two, huh? It would be too easy to go for the simple ball smacks glimpsed in films like Caddyshack, Home Alone or Dumb & Dumber. Here, we up the ante and look back at 15 Movie Moments That Made Your Testicles Wither that you might not have thought about for a good while [...]

The choices range from predictable to surprising, but it's the author's texts that make the article.

Read it in full at WhatCulture.

From the web: Everything Men Need to Know about Ball Pain, According to Urologists

 

On this blog we usually talk about the fun side of a hit to the cum control center, but I would like to take a moment to remind you: 

Testicular pain is a lot more than a nut shot, urologists warn

That's the gist of fatherly.com's great article Everything Men Need to Know about Ball Pain, According to Urologists. It starts with some important information:

Testicular pain can mean a lot of things for men beyond that it’s not going to be a great day. Whether your balls hurt as a result of a rogue baseball at little league practice or a serious underlying medical issue, discomfort, swelling, urologists confirm that pain in balls are no joke. So if you’re wondering “Why do my balls hurt?” Here are some of the reasons a man might experience discomfort in the family jewels.

And it goes on to list several nasty reasons for testicular pain:

1. Blunt Trauma
2. Testicular Torsion Not Related to Blunt Trauma
3. An Inflamed Epididymis
4. Swollen Testicle Veins
5. Other Scrotal Swelling
6. Testicular Cancer
7. Other Pain For No Real Reason at All

Every bullet point gets explored, and I really think you should read the full article here: Everything Men Need to Know about Ball Pain, According to Urologists on fatherly.com.

From the web: Jackass 4's Steve-O Just Shared The 'Most Elaborate Nut Shot' He Ever Took For Your Viewing Pleasure

 

I stumbled across this little gem of an article at CinemaBlend. The video clip that Steve-O is "sharing" isn't new, but I like the jocular tone of the article. Here's the beginning:

I don’t know how many times Steve-O has been hit in the nuts in his life. Between his early career as a flea market clown and his later career making appearances on Jackass and all the various spinoffs, he’s engaged in a lot of behavior that has put his testicles in danger. Now he’s back with footage of a new stunt, which he’s billed as “the most elaborate nut shot” he’s ever taken, and for him, you know that’s saying a lot.

It goes on like this and concludes:

Getting hit in the nuts might not be the career path most guidance counselors would recommend, but if you’re going to do a job, you might as well do it to the best of your abilities. Steve-O has made a great living over the years by pushing his body to the limits in creative ways designed to entertain others. It’s nice to see him still out here doing what he loves, and it’s nice to see him doing it sober. I can’t wait for Jackass 4. Hopefully all of his injuries will have healed by the time it premieres, which is currently scheduled for September.

Read the whole thing at CinemaBlend.

From the web: Social Media Reacts, Relates to Alabama Star Taking Nut Shot

 

If you are like me and enjoy nutshot reactions almost as much as the nutshot itself then you will love this wonderful little post from outkick.com. 

It starts like this:

If you are a guy, there are few things in this world more painful than taking a shot to nuts. When it happens to you, it hurts. When you see it happen to someone else, it still hurts.

There is no escaping it.

That is why social media had such a strong reaction to Alabama star running back Najee Harris taking one to the jewels during the LSU game on Saturday night. But before we can get to those hilarious reactions, you have to see the hit.

We apologize in advance, fellas.  

And it gets better from there.

Here is video footage of the incident:

Check out Najee Harris getting his balls exploded by the LSU defender. Dammit.

THIS should be targeting, too. At least a talkin' to about what's totally not cool. #ALAvsLSU #RollTide #GeauxTigers pic.twitter.com/aWKG6jIMBB

— Your Ol' Buddy Mikie (@19Mikie99) December 6, 2020

Read "Social Media Reacts, Relates to Alabama Star Taking Nut Shot" on outkick.com

From the web: Korean Guys Swear by This Remedy for Getting Hit in the Balls

 

I stumbled across a little article called Korean Guys Swear by This Remedy for Getting Hit in the Balls over at vice.com, and I thought you might like it.

The first paragraph alone is a gem:

They say there is no greater pain than heartbreak, but I beg to differ. Getting hit in the nuts is worse. To this day I, and most guys I know, have no clear way of articulating exactly how it feels when we get knocked down there. The weight of discomfort travels upwards, all the way to the stomach. If hit hard enough, you’d start feeling faint and nauseated. Then I discovered a remedy.

It goes on in that same playful, jocular tone (which I LOVE!), and it has a tweet and a video for demonstration. It's a short read, and I hope you'll like it.

Read the full article on vice.com

From the web: This poor cricketer got hit in the nuts THREE TIMES, and the mics caught it

 

Apparently I am not the only one who watched sports mainly for the nutshots... Here is an article from sbnation.com about a cricketer who got hit in the nuts not once, not twice but THREE TIMES.

The first clip wasn’t captured, but the second broadcast him loudly screaming “OHHHHH!” as one would expect when a bouncing cricket ball careens into your testicles at a high rate of speed. Keep in mind this was the second shot of the night.

Then it happened again.

The article has several videos and embedded tweets, and the footage is pretty funny. The commentators can barely hold it together, and the article goes on:

I don’t blame the announcers for losing it on commentary. They’re only human. Nut shots are funny enough inherently, let alone seeing the same man continue to be hit in the knackers and screaming in pain with live audio accompaniment. 

Read the full article on sbnation.com

From the web: 40+ Witty Nicknames For Guys With One Testicle

FindNicknames.com is a site that specializes in, well, finding nicknames for all occasions. Most of the lists are pretty bland - but this one list caught my attention: 40+ Witty Nicknames For Guys With One Testicle.

Let me quote the author of this list:

The appropriate term for a guy with only one testicle is monorchid. Since you can’t go around calling someone a monorchid, I have compiled a list of popular nicknames for guys with one testicle.

Oh yes! Nothing is funnier than a guy with one nut!

Here are some of my favorites from the list:

1. 1Pac
2. 50 Cent
7. Einstein
15. Han Solo
19. Mono
23. One Nut Wonder
29. Sack-o-solitude
30. Schrödinger’s Sac
34. Testiclops
37. Thunderball
42. XBall one

Read the full list on FindNicknames.com - and make sure you check out the comments section because there are some funny ones (LOL!) in there as well...

From the web: This Vancouver 'stunt-magician' let people on the street kick him in the balls

Photo: WES Barker / YouTube

Here is a wonderful little article that I found on Vancouver Is Awesome. It's about, well, a Vancouver "stunt magician" who lets people on the street kick him in the balls. It's a fun little piece and it has a video of the "magic trick"...

Here's an excerpt:

"I've always wondered: How do people get kicked in the balls in the movies?"

While it might be something people ponder, most men wouldn't risk getting kicked such a sensitive area to figure out the best way to handle the impact.

But not Wes Barker.

[...]

As for getting kicked in the groin, Barker recorded his attempt, along with his preparation, in a video for his YouTube channel.

"Always funny, never not funny," notes Barker in the video. "I've come up with a contraption that allows me to get kicked in the nuts by strangers."

Read the full articel on Vancouver is Awesome. Why can't all magicians be like Wes Barker? :-))

From the web: Nut-Shot Cornhole Is Now The Official Tailgate Game Of This Football Season

Here is a short article from BARSTOOL SPORTS about one of my favorite pasttimes: nut-shot cornhole. We have talked about it a few times here on this blog, and it's nice to see it mentioned elsewhere. Let's hope this is the beginning of a new trend!

Sometimes the most genius ideas are also the most simple. I mean the cornhole craze has taken America by storm over the last 5-10 years. And everybody loves a good ol’ fashion nut shot. So how is it that it’s taken us this long for somebody to place their own beanbag under the hole and give us the most high-stakes version of the game as possible? It’s genius, Lloyd. Sheer genius.

Read the full article (it's very short but it has an embedded instagram video that is worth watching) at BARSTOOL SPORTS.

From the web: The Quick, Painful and 'Totally Not Gay' Cultural History of Sack Whacking

An article titled The Quick, Painful and 'Totally Not Gay' Cultural History of Sack Whacking has to be good, right? If you need any more proof that it's worth reading here is the first paragraph

I spent the first day of spring semester freshman year of high school icing my testicles in the infirmary. A nut-punching game called “smacking fire” had spread across my New England boarding school like jock itch, bringing dozens of prepsters to their knees in its wake. The rules were simple: One was deemed “tappable” if the tapper flashed an upside-down “OK” sign below the belt and got you to look, resulting in a swift and friendly flick to the groin.

Yeah, see?

Read the full article on MELmagazine.com

From the web: Why It's So Hilarious to See Other Guys Get Kicked In the Balls

Have you ever asked yourself Why It's So Hilarious to See Other Guys Get Kicked In the Balls? Well, this Men's Health article tries to get to the bottom of it.

Choice quote:

Distance plays a part in your glee as well, notes Dr. Shuster. It’s kind of why you’re more likely to crack up when you see a guy get whacked in the balls on TV or YouTube than you would if the guy walking next to you takes a hit to his undercarriage. That depersonalizes us from the experience and lends a sense of safety to the viewer. So you’re allowed to laugh at the “other” and not worry that your own balls are at risk.

Well, Dr. Shuster, I'm not quite sure that this is true for everybody. I'd be willing to take a bet to say that most of us would crack up if the guy walking next to us took a hit to his undercarriage just as well...

Nevertheless it's an interesting read.

Read the full article here.

P.S.: Don't skip the embedded video titled "6 Things Every Man Should Know About His Penis". Thing #5: You really can break it. Ouch!

From the web: ‘Catch-22’ Star Christopher Abbott Breaks Down His ‘Testicles Sequence’ With George Clooney

Photo by Philippe Antonello/Hulu

You like the headline ‘Catch-22’ Star Christopher Abbott Breaks Down His ‘Testicles Sequence’ With George Clooney? Well, then look at the subheadline:

“It’s hard to keep a straight face and care so much about my nuts,” Hulu limited series’ star tells TheWrap

With that combination you know that you are in for a treat. ‘Catch-22’ Star Christopher Abbott Breaks Down His ‘Testicles Sequence’ With George Clooney is just a short article but I love it very much, that's why I want to share it with you.

Here is my favorite part and the central quote of the article:

“Well, I am method. No, no,” Abbott joked. “It isn’t a testicles scene, is it? It’s really a testicles sequence. There is a lot that revolves around that. [Yossarian] actually getting shot in the plane is really scary but also quite funny. And how his testicles are dealt with from there on after is really funny. The shot of George fondling my testicles with a pencil — those weren’t my testicles, those were stunt testicles, little fun fact for you — but it’s hard to keep a straight face and care so much about my nuts.”

Awesome!

Read the full article at TheWrap.

From the web: 11 Dads On the Worst Groin Shot They Ever Received From their Kids

Here is a wonderful article that I found on the website fatherly.com. It's called "11 Dads On the Worst Groin Shot They Ever Received From their Kids", and that's exactly what it is.

In the author's own words:

Much like sleepless nights and being touched by what always seem to be the stickiest hands all the time (why does it seem like kids always just finished a meal at Shoneys?), shots to the groin are a true rite of fatherhood. This, of course, is not news: Everything about little kids, from their flailing limbs to their flung toys are pretty much crotch level. Combine that with developing motor functions (and senses of humor) and your nethers are in the hot zone. It pays to be vigilant — and there are ways to defend your groin — but, believe us, if it hasn’t happened yet, your testicles will be smashed at some point. It’s a truth — and, as many dads can attest, one that leads to some pretty funny (and painful) stories. Like these eleven tales of testicular woe.

Every one of these eleven stories is hilarious and cute. Here are my favorites:

sadOsam: Good BALLBUSTING Is Not Just Kicking Balls As Hard As The Other Can Take

Servile Jerome, photo by Detlev Hoffmann

Here is an awesome interview that has been published on sadOsam.com, the fetish hub for kinksters. German ballbusting connoisseur Servile Jerome has answered Master Marc's questions, and it's quite an interesting read.

They talk about the difference between a good ballbuster and a bad ballbuster, about general safety rules, about Jerome's most painful experience, about his awesome XTube channel, and about different kinds of pain. There are some awesome videos and pictures as well, so I suggest you check it out right away.

The interview is well worth reading in full but here are two quotes that I found very hot and interesting:

From the web: What Exactly Happens When You Pop a Testicle and How to Fix It

Here's another wonderful article that I found on the web. It's called What Exactly Happens When You Pop a Testicle and How to Fix It. What is it about, you ask? Well, here are the author's own words:

With equal parts morbid curiosity and dedication to public service journalism we called a genital urological surgeon to find out what happens when you pop a ball.

Yup. And that mix of morbid curiosity and dedication to public service journalism makes this article to awesome.

Here are some excerpts:

From the web: Ah, Nuts: The Science of Getting Hit in the Balls

Here's a wonderful little article that I stumbled upon at dollarshave.com. The title had me laughing out loud, and the first sentence is pretty awesome, too:

Dr. Muhammad Mirza, expert in all things testicle, walks us through the many symptoms of being hit in the nethers (and shows us how to stop the pain).

Expert in all things testicle? That sound exactly like me, and probably exactly like you, too!

Let's see what the good doctor has to say.

From the web: Bully characters get hit in the nuts

One of the most fascinating things about the video game Bully: Scholarship Edition (at least to me) is the myriad of hilarious nutshot reactions. It seems like every character has their own one-liner, and they are all awesome!

Thank goodness someone has gone to the trouble of collecting the best ones on the Funny Tropes section of TVTropes.

Here are a couple of my favorite examples (imagine the character has just been whacked in the juicy bits):

From the web: 15 Guys Eloquently Describe How It Feels To Get Hit In The Balls

Okay, I know that you'll love this: 15 Guys Eloquently Describe How It Feels To Get Hit In The Balls. It's a wonderful little article on ELITE DAILY, a website I've never heard of. I have no idea how I found it - but there it was, in all it's wonderfulness.

Two quotes:

From the web: Why Do So Many Movie Characters Get Hit in the Balls?

Here's a funny little article from LA Weekly that I stumbled across a little while ago. It's not too long, and it's very tongue-in-cheek as it tries to answer the age-old question: Why Do So Many Movie Characters Get Hit in the Balls?

Here's a little excerpt:

From the web: The top 10 games that make you inadvertantly whack your friends in the nuts

A few weeks ago I happened upon a wonderful article called The top 10 games that make you inadvertantly whack your friends in the nuts. Granted, it's almost 10 years old so the advice might be a bit outdated (Does anybody play Wii Sports anymore?) but I think it's a hilarious read.

The author goes through various games and describes the dangers that you put your friends' testicles in when playing them,, for example: