Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Take one for the team: The day after

Previous parts:
Poll: First game
Poll results: First game
Take one for the team 

Featured in this story: Danny (click for pictures)

A day after the shooting I watched our footage. Chad, my cameraman, had gotten it all on video: the cheering, the fierce battle between the teams, the flattening of Danny’s poor balls, and his crushing defeat. Leo and Simon had been relentless – and ultimately victorious – in their merciless handling of their opponent’s nuts.

Tomorrow we were going to have the penalties. Leo had committed two fouls on Danny and Danny would have the chance to wreak havoc on skinny skaterboy Leo’s precious balls. On the other team, Will had fouled his twin brother Michael’s nuts, too, so Michael looked forward to getting revenge on Will…I called Danny to see if his manhood had recovered from the vicious abuse it had taken yesterday.

“Hello”, Danny answered in a barely audible voice.

I told him that I had watched the video and that he – and especially his valuables – looked quite good in it.

“Thanks, that’s nice”, he replied weakly. “I wish I hadn’t passed out. I mean, I saw Will and Kev take care of Michael’s nuts and they looked like they were on a good way…”

“Yeah”, I agreed, “if your balls had lasted just a little bit longer...“

“Well, apparently they didn’t want to”, he said. “I have to watch that video. My balls feel like they were slaughtered…”

“Hmm, they pretty much were… We have a close up of those balls right before you pass out. It’s pretty weird. They look flat as pancakes.”

I heard him cough.

“Everything okay?” I asked.“Yeah, it’s just --- my testicles are killing me!” He sighed.

“You’ll have a chance to get back at Leo tomorrow”, I tried to comfort him.

“Oh yes, he’s gonna pay” he said, sounding cheerful at that thought. “But first I’ll put a bag of ice on my crotch… My girlfriend is gonna come by in a few hours.”

I was surprised. “Oh, I didn’t know you have a girlfriend. I thought… Well, when we did 'The menu' you swallowed the twins'---”

“I’m bi”, Danny explained. “She isn’t too comfortable with that although I haven’t screwed a guy for God knows how long. Anyway, she doesn’t know about the job. I don’t think she’ll be too happy to know I had my nuts worked over by a couple of guys… If hope she doesn’t notice. But to be honest – my nuts look quite bruised.” Danny sighed again. “If she does notice I’ll tell her some story about a sports accident. Baseballs tend to gravitate towards my junk, anyway… I hope she’ll buy it…”

“Good luck”, I said, chuckling.

“Thanks. I wouldn’t want her to have a go at my balls today. Her knee is quite deadly… See you tomorrow then.”

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