Monday, April 26, 2021

Stockpicks and low blows (written by Dominik)

This is yet another awesome story written by my friend Dominik (author of Pain by the pool, Another competition with consequences, Blind man's balls, Space balls and A very boring Saturday for Cal). Today's story features our favorite jocks Kev, Ben and Colin. I hope you'll enjoy this story as much as I did!

Featured in this story: Ben, Colin and Kev (click for pictures)

Kev startled as the door to his dorm room burst open. It was Colin again, one of his best friends and dorm mates, standing in the door in sweatpants and an oversized T-Shirt, his brown hair hanging into his pretty face.

"Come on, man, don’t you ever knock?", Kev mumbled as he grabbed the remote for his TV. He was lying in bed in just his pyjamas. It was a slow and thus far uneventful Saturday morning. "I could have been masturbating for all you know…"

"Which would have made me bursting in here at least a little more exciting", Colin laughed. "But nope, you’re just watching that dumb horse show on Netflix again. Your taste in TV is just as boring as your investment strategies…"

"Yet my boring investment choices somehow come out on top most of the time", Kev sighed. "Besides, it’s not dumb, it’s a cleverly written comedy drama about a once famous sitcom actor who…"

"It’s about a fucking horse", Colin interrupted. "How clever can it possibly be. Anyway, Ben and me are in the living room, we’re making our weekly bets. Care to join us?"

"Well, I…"

Without waiting for him to finish, Colin’s hand snapped forward and he punched Kev into his pyjama-covered gonads, making him shudder.

"Sure, if it makes you happy…", he groaned.

"That’s the spirit."

Kev rubbed his crotch as he got up before joining Colin and Ben in the living room. Ben was chilling on the couch wearing just a tight tank-top and a pair of tiny shorts that put his muscular legs to good display.

"Morning, sleepyhead."

"I wasn’t sleeping anymore…"

Kev over in the direction of the coffee machine that attracted him with the nice smell of freshly brown coffee. Just as he walked by Ben, Ben’s hand shot forward and he tapped Kev in the balls.

"Ah, come on, man", Kev complained as he stumbled the rest of the way to the kitchen counter. "Colin already gave me that pleasantry today..."

"No reason for me not to", Ben smiled. Colin giggled as he sat down.

A short while later, Kev hat sat down on one of the armchairs next to the couch Ben and Colin were chilling on.

"So, how did things go this time?", Kev asked. "I guess I‘ll be your judge again?"

"Sure. Let’s get started."

A couple months ago, the three dorm mates had started their journey into the stock market. For Ben and Colin, it had started as a fun game of picking the right stocks, analysing companies, digging through their yearly reports and finally making small bets on what they believe were the right companies.

While his two friends had their fun stockpicking and actively managing their portfolio, Kev meanwhile had taken a different path. He had gotten into stocks early on and after doing his research, he decided the most sensible approach to investing would be with a globally diversified index fund that contained company stocks by market weight. He had decided for himself not to join the stockpicking game and instead let passive investing do its’ course.

His friends had accepted his choice, even though with some dismay at first. But they did like to tease him about the one big issue they had with index investing: it was agonisingly, mind-bendingly boring. Putting money into a fund and then forgetting about it for 40 years and not touching it until retirement was not what they were in the game for. Ben at least somewhat acknowledged the benefits of passive investing, but decided he’d have more fun with active investment choices – they were part of the fun, after all. Colin meanwhile was a passionate active investor making his own choices that he stood by – which sometimes went better for him and other times not so much.

And so it was no surprise that Kev had become a spectator or judge watching from the sidelines as Ben and Colin had started to dare each other to increasingly risky stockpicking bets – and had started to put their balls on the line as collateral, as good friends did.

"Alright, let‘s start. General portfolio performance first, afterwards special bets, yeah?", Kev asked.


"Then let’s see which one of you retards got ahead this time", Kev laughed and sipped from his coffee.

"Highest percentage wins?", Colin he opened his trading app on the phone.

"You got it, bud", Kev nodded.

The two of them threw their phones at the table at the same time before looking at the numbers expecatantly:

Ben: $2153 +2,96%

Colin: $1841 +1,13%

"Well, looks like we have a winner", Kev cackled as he and Ben looked at Colin. He blushed a little before shrugging.

"Can‘t win every week, right?"

"Nope. Let‘s get started on your balls, bro."

"Yeah", Colin sighed. "What do you like to do?"

"Well, we didn‘t agree on anything specific", Kev smirked.

"Which means everything is on the table", Ben nodded. "Get up."

Colin stood up from the couch as his mates walked over to him – Kev still in his pyjamas, Ben topless in his shorts.

"How about some nice kicks to, well, kick things off?", Ben suggested. "To show our expert investor who‘s boss."

"Sounds great!" Kev didn‘t have to be told twice. He took aim and let Colin‘s balls exchange painful pleasantries with his bare foot.

"Ugh!", Colin sighed as he bent forward.

"Nice one. Let me see if I can top that." Ben took a step back before shooting his foot forward into the visible bulge in Colin’s sweatpants. He hit him head-on and made Colin scream in pain.

Still screaming, he didn‘t saw Kev‘s next kick coming. Kev didn‘t wait but instead threw his foot forward and smacking his buddy’s balls into his pelvis.

"Uh!", Colin groaned, his face contorted in pain.

Ben didn‘t give him any time to rest either and smashed his foot again into Colin‘s poor babymakers as well.

"Fuck, man!"

Colin looked sweet as he stood there in front of his pals, bent forward and hands on his knees.

"I would make any investment jokes but I‘m all out of interest", Kev said before giving his friend and dorm mate another flying kick into the family jewels that made him yelp in pain.

"One could say that with each kick, we are really compounding damage", Ben said as he brushed his hand through his hair before following up with another hard kick aswell. Colin screamed.

"Yeah, maybe Colin should go back from stock picking to sock picking. As in, choosing which sock he‘s gonna wank off into next", Kev smirked before letting his foot fly once again into Colin’s balls.

"He‘s really leveraging his risk by including his balls in the fallout", Ben nodded. "But sadly, this is an uncompensated risk without a yield premium..."

"To be fair, that‘s a risk you are taking aswell... ahhh", Colin screamed as Ben‘s foot collided with his balls again.

"The numbers in his depot may not be red today, but something else of his will for sure", Kev said unimpressed and kicked him again.

"Yeah, well if you can‘t inflate your money then I guess getting your balls inflated is a decent consolation price", Ben nodded before ramming his foot forward again.

"Oh look, do you have enough?", Kev asked innocently as Colin‘s face was covered in a mask of pain.

"Yeah, please... my balls are in so much pain now..."

"Okay, sure thing, I‘ll stop kicking your pour balls", Kev offered. He exchanged a nasty look with Ben, then he continued: "Because I want to switch it up to some knees!"

Colin gasped in pain.

The two handsome lads took turns ramming and smashing their hard kneecaps into Colin‘s balls, much to his displeasure.

Ben particularly loved standing right in front of him teasingly, putting his athletic body to good display in front of Colin’s eyes, then suddenly throwing up his knee from below while Colin’s eyes were fixed on his face. The suspense of Colin heavily panting while he waited for the blow and had nothing to stare at but his pretty friend’s face and upper body was joyful, and it made the kicks all-the-more satisfying to Ben.

Kev meanwhile didn’t care much about teasing Colin or building suspense, he was more of what Colin once called a "boring" ballkicker – he just smashed his foot forward in whatever way got the job done with the least amount of effort, not unlike his investment attitude. But sometimes the most boring way to go about dealing damage was yet the most effective.

After a particularly nasty blow, Colin‘s legs gave in and he fell to the ground, cupping his balls and groaning with a contorted expression.

"Good thing you guys aren‘t as averse to lump risk as me", Kev laughed as gave Ben a high-five. "I mean, your bets are literally a risk to your lumps."

It took Colin a while to recover. Colin often was the most prude and pretentious of the three, but when his balls were hurt, he became a little crybaby all-the-same. He rolled around the floor of their community dorm room while Kev sipped his coffee and Ben spent some time on his phone, lying on the couch again.

"Alright, let‘s see what we got next", Kev said as Colin finally had gotten up again and joined his two friends. He peaked into his sweatpants while sitting down but preferred keeping his most priced parts covered under his clothes. He wasn’t ashamed of showing off his body and he knew how handsome he looked, but it was no secret among the three of them that by being naked around the dorm, one opened oneself up to becoming the target of some painful consequences.

"And to the ‚stock of the week‘-category next!", Ben cheerfully exclaimed. Other than comparing their general portfolio performance, the two of them had come to make at least one bet on an individual stock aswell. Whoever’s stock pick of the week had performed better was in for some joyful times, the other one not so much.

"Kev, do you want to do the honors?", Colin asked with a meek voice while rubbing his sore crotch. He was excited about his picks, but at the same time a little scared about his balls who had already taken way more damage than he had hoped for today. Then again, ‚no risk, no risk premium’... that was something that the three of them agreed on at least. Even if that additional risk premium in this case was just the joy of kicking his buddy’s balls in.

"You bet. Why don‘t the two of you get up while I compare your picks. You each picked three stocks this time around?"


"Alright. First round. Why don’t you close your eyes to make it more interesting. Let‘s start with three punches. You’ll know if you’re the winner or not, I promise."

The boys sighed, but did as Kev asked. They stood in the middle of the living room facing each other, Ben wearing nothing but his fitness shorts, Colin still dressed in his sweatpants and oversized T-Shirt. None of them wore socks. They each closed their eyes nervously, leaving themselves open and vulnerable. Kev stood next to them as they faced each other and compared their picks.

"Alrighty. In the first round, Ben picked Razer. Colin, your pick was... of fucking course. You always pick GameStop ever since that Short Squeeze didn’t work out."

"It’ll go to the moon eventually", Colin whispered. "I just know it."

"Yeah, well it didn‘t this time around. But was it enough to beat Razer? Huh..." Kev grinned, then he kneed in front of his mates. He drew his fist back, then he punched Colin into the balls with all the force he could muster.

Ben sighed in relief and opened his eyes to watch the other two punches while Colin stumbled backwards, gasping for air. "Fuck..."

"Razer +12%, GME +5%... no luck for you, Colin", Kev shrugged before drawing his fist back and pummelling his body a second and finally a third time. Meanwhile he thought about how refreshing it was to jump into the weekend with some satisfying ball punches.

"Alright. Second round. Colin, get ready again, you can cry afterwards", he laughed. Colin gulped as he stood up and placed himself in front of Ben again who looked at him with a sublime expression.

"Uh, so much red in the second round. But on both sides. You’re both negative on that one", Kev shrugged. "How about a short squeeze next?"

"You’re just saying that to tease me about GameStop now, aren’t ya", Colin blushed.

"No, I genuinely find squeezing balls fun. Feels like you‘re squeezing stress balls. I mean, you kinda are. It’s a great stress relief."

"One I could definitely use with all the stress of stockpicking", Ben said. "And I know Kev, you‘re gonna advise me to switch to index-investing instead because then it‘s not stressful to begin with..."

"And not fun either", Colin chimed in.

"Yeah well, let‘s settle that dispute another time, we’ve got some balls to squeeze. Colin, you picked Morgan Stanley for round two, and Ben, you picked the Phoenix group." He kneed down again until his face was at the very height of his buddy‘s covered crotches, so close he could headbutt them if he wanted.

He looked to Ben, then to Colin and back to Ben. Then his hands quickly shot forward found their way into Ben‘s crotch. They didn‘t have to work through the thin fabric of his pants for long before finding their grip around his big marbles.

"No!", Ben yelped in surprise. Colin meanwhile opened his eyes and let out a mean laugh, looking at his friend with petty.

Then, Kev increased his grip around Ben‘s balls. He firmly held onto them and started squeezing them increasingly hard. Ben breathed in deeply from the sudden pressure on his manly spheres.

"Morgan Stanley: -1,82%. Phoenix group: -2,21%", Kev grinned.

As Kev held his grip, Ben breathed heavily and stood up on his toes, fingers glued to his legs as if that was any help. He had thought he would get though this Saturday‘s bets unscathed, but luck wouldn’t have it. He looked funny: the big, strong stud with his imposing, bare upper body and his magnificent arms and legs, made weak by a hard grip on his testicles.

"Come on, man. You said a SHORT squeeze...", Ben mumbled in anguish.

Kev increased the pressure on his friend‘s balls even more for a short while, making Ben yelp loudly. Then he allowed the big hunk to bend forward and nurse his squeezed balls.

"Well, that was something", Ben whispered.

"Bet you‘ll be feeling that for a while, huh?", Colin grinned.

"Actually, I don‘t think so", Ben shrugged as he straightened himself and flexed his arm muscles. "Yeah, it was painful, but wasn‘t too bad. Already feeling better. I bet your balls on the other hand already look less healthy than usual, don‘t they?"

Colin gulped and blushed while rubbing his hands over his balls. "Well... le. t‘s just get on with the game, shall we?"

"Final stock round", Kev announced. "Get ready, guys, and close your eyes. And hands off the merchandise – both of you", he grinned. "Five uppercuts this time. Ben, you chose Xiomi. Colin – another meme stock. Tesla."

"Hey, I feel personally offended if you call Tesla a meme stock", Colin complained.

"Too bad", Kev shrugged before kneeing down in front of his mates again. He looked back and forth inbetween them. They both looked nervous, standing there with closed eyes. Ben had crossed his hands behind his back, Colin on the other hand flinched a few times as he thought Kev was hitting him even when he wasn‘t.

Kev finally broke the suspense and gave Ben a good uppercut into the swamp area that slightly bulged his pants.

"Fuck", Ben mumbled as he instinctively turned away. Colin laughed.

"Xiomi 4,84%, Tesla 7,54%", Kev shrugged before brining his fist up again into Ben‘s crotch.

Ben yodelled loudly as Kev smashed his fist into his balls another three times. He was off-mark a little with one hit, but the other punches were head-on, and he felt the mushy area of the underside of Ben’s sack give in on the tips of his fingers.

"Fuck yeah", Kev finally said after the 5th hit while allowing Ben to cower on the floor. Colin had walked over aswell and patted Ben on the shoulders.

"Tough luck", he shrugged.

"Everything okay down there?", Kev asked jokingly.

"Yeah, just give me a minute... ah..."

Kev and Colin jumped on the couch again and talked about their weekend plans for a little while. Kev planned to go to the gym later that day while Colin was planning a gaming night with some other dorm mates later that day. While talking about it, the good-looking, respectable boy repeatedly brushed himself over his still sore balls.

"Alright", Ben finally intervened. "One bet left for today."

"Yeah, right", Colin nodded. "Thought you‘d never ask."

"Figured your balls already took such a beating that you‘d try to weasel your way around it", Ben laughed.

"No way, man. No risk, no risk premium – gotta put something on the line if I like to see you suffer some more today."

"Alrighty. So you‘re gonna compare the performance of your crypto portfolios?"


In addition to their stock investments, Ben and Colin each also held a small amount of money in cryptocurrencies. They didn‘t make bets on them every week, but they did from time to time.

"So what‘s the punishment this time around?", Kev asked.

"Loser has to cook dinner for the three of us afterwards", Colin suggested.

"While being stark-naked", Ben threw in. "Needless to say, he‘s staying naked for dinner aswell."

"And do the dishes afterwards", Colin nodded. "He‘s not allowed to put on a single sock until everything‘s clean."

"And the other two can go for his balls while he‘s at it", Ben agreed.

"Sounds like a bargain", Kev laughed and was once more glad that he didn‘t partake in the stockpicking bets of his two best mates – he was fine watching from the sidelines. "Alright. Let‘s see those numbers, then!"

The boys didn’t have to be told twice. They threw down their phones again, crypto apps open.

Ben: 214€, +13%

Colin: 309€, -12%

"Guess we have a clear winner", Kev smirked. Him and Ben looked at Colin who blushed heavily.

"Putting some money into shitcoins actually works out for once", Ben laughed.

Colin sighed. "Guess someone‘s cooking you a nice meal..."

"Let‘s start with some cooked sausage and scrambled eggs", Ben remarked before throwing his elbow into Colin‘s balls, making him yelp in surprise and pain.

"Come on, man, get naked and let‘s get the action started", Kev nodded.

And so Colin finally stripped of his oversized T-Shirt and revealed his nice chest and abs. He wasn‘t as muscular as Ben but didn’t have anything to be shy about either in that regard. He hesitated for a moment, then he pulled down his sweatpants along with his boxers, revealing his normal-sized but somewhat shrimpled cock and his visibly swollen balls.

"Nice", Kev nodded. "The damage, I mean. The rest, not so much."

With these words, he leaned forward and gave Colin‘s balls a good slap with his hand that made him scream in pain.

A short while later, Colin was over in the kitchen department of the community room, walking around bare-naked. Kev and Ben were mostly chilling on the couch – Kev had exchanged his pyjama for some jeans and a tanktop in the meantime. They did walk over to Colin from time to time, pried on his balls and tried to surprise him with a kick or punch every few minutes. Colin was on the lookout, but there was only so much he could do to protect his gonads  from his two playful dormmates.

"I‘m gonna get you next time", he said with clenched teeth after a particularly good kick from Ben. "I‘m the king of stockpicking."

"Yeah, sure", Ben laughed. "But right now, you‘re just a little loser with sore balls. Now get on with it, or we gotta cook some sausage ourselves!"


GinoJaydenAuthorJimmy said...

Dear Dominik,

That was great! What a fun way to start the week with a great little betting story involving some of my favorite characters. There were as many jokes about the stocks as there was ballbusts! It just goes to show that betting on the stock market can be very risky...especially with KEV around to dole out the punishments!



Anonymous said...

Very nice, funny story. I can't see those dumb jocks doing much research on the stock market, but they would do anything for a ballbusting bet!
Hope to read more of your stories soon.

Dominik said...

Thank you, Reg and Jimmy! I much appreciate the feedback, I‘m glad you liked the story! :)

And yeah, knowing Ben and Colin… they probably tend not to do too much research before an investment decision ;)

All the best,