Tuesday, November 3, 2020

The B Factor - Season 2: Sack tap casualty (Elimination #5)


In our fifth elimination round of The B Factor - Season 2 we asked you to answer the following question: Who is most likely to prank others with a sack tap? 209 votes have been counted, and here are the results:

SAFE FOR NOW (in alphabetical order):
Chris Hemsworth
Dave Franco
Dylan O'Brien
KJ Apa
Nick Jonas
Ryan Reynolds

THE BOTTOM TWO (in alphabetical order):

Chris Pratt
Taron Egerton


Chris Pratt with 19% of the vote. 

(More than one answer per vote was possible, so the total percentage adds up to more than 100%. The full, unredacted results of the elimination rounds will be published before the final episode of The B Factor.)

So Chris is out, and here's his story.


Sack tap casualty

Featured in this story: Chris Pratt and a hot doctor

Warning: Contains permanent damage.

Chris Pratt woke up in a hospital bed with an icepack on his crotch and with the immediate realization that something was very wrong. A quick glimpse below the sheets confirmed his worst suspicions.
“My sack”, Chris whispered incredulously. “My beautiful sack.”
He closed his eyes and said prayed to God that this was just a nightmare, that he’d wake up any second to find his juicy testicles right there between his legs, where they belonged, where they were supposed to be.
The door opened, and Chris opened his eyes to see a young doctor enter the room. He was good-looking, in his late twenties, and his horn-rimmed glasses gave him a superhero vibe, as if he’d rip off the white coat to reveal a lycra suit any second.
But instead the doctor just adjusted his glasses, looking at Chris with a strained smile.
“Hello, Mr…” The doctor looked at his notepad. “Pratt. I’m afraid we couldn’t save your…” He looked at his notepad. “Testicles.” He nodded his head. “If you have any questions I’ll be happy to answer them.”
“What--- What happened?” the famous actor whispered in a toneless voice.
“It looks like you got into a…” The doctor looked at his notepad. “Sack tap battle. It looks like your testicles were annihilated by a…” He squinted at his notes. “Back hand slap.” He clicked his tongue. “Well, apparently your testicles weren’t made to be tapped.”
Chris swallowed hard. “Yes, that’s why I don’t engage in sack tapping. My sack is just too fragile.”
The doctor chuckled. “Was. Your sack was too fragile.” He let out a laugh. “You don’t have to worry about that anymore, now, though.”
Chris blinked.
The doctor cleared his throat. “Your testicles exploded, one by one.” He reached inside his coat pocket and pulled out a plastic bag that contained a slimey, gooey mass that had once been Chris Pratt’s pride and joy.
“There are a few chunks left”, the doctor explained matter-of-factly. “I thought maybe you’d like to keep them?”
He handed Chris the bag of testicular matter, and the actor looked at it incredulously.
“Look at the bright side”, the doctor said on his way out of the room. “Now you can sack tap all day long without having to worry about your testicles!”

Five down, seven to go. The B Factor - Season 2 continues!


Anonymous said...

I think that would be great to read the moment when the balls were destroyed, because a story about after that moment isn't so well.

Chad said...

This seems like a good compromise, well done.

Alex said...

Thanks for your feedback, guys! :-))

GinoJaydenAuthorJimmy said...

I'm so happy that this was short, he did not deserve more. It was great in how definitive of an ending he got. Well done!



Alex said...

Thanks for your comment, Jimmy! :-))

Anonymous said...

Honestly, I thought it would have been better if you showed the actual permanent damage other than just implying it and showing us the aftermath

Something more like show and don't tell

If you are already writing about how Chris Pratt's Dino eggs got scrambled you might as well show write the whole thing happening

Maybe Chris Pratt was filming the third Jurassic park movie and the staff wanted to pull a prank on him with a velociraptor animatronic during a scene, the animatronic malfunctions and the animatronic accidentally shatters Chris Pratt's eggs with his big sharp teeth or something like that

Alex said...

Thanks for your comment! For various reasons this story turned out the way it did. I understand your point, and I'll try to do better in the future. In the meantime: I really like your plot idea, and I would love to read that story. If you feel like writing it do not hesitate to send it to me (alex@ballbustingboys.org), and I'll gladly publish it! :-))