Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Phone calls

A few days ago Cal, a 22 year old black guy with great looks and a swimmer’s build, had been to the studio to ask for a job. Seizing the opportunity, we had a little casting session. It turned out that young Cal’s hefty balls were desperately in need of a professional toughening.

Today, I made a few phone calls.

First, I called Leo and Tristan, the two skater buddies who had shown that they were highly motivated and pleasantly relentless when it came to cracking other guys’ nuts.

When I told them what I had in mind, they agreed immediately.

Next, I phoned Cal.

When he answered the phone, I explained the situation. “You know, working for us requires a certain fortitude and resistance”, I said.

There was a brief moment of silence on the other end of the line. Then Cal said in a disheartened tone of voice, “I guess you’re trying to tell me that you don’t want to hire me.”

“No”, I said quickly. “No, not at all. I’m going to set up a little training camp for you and your nuts.”

“Oh”, Cal said, sounding relieved. “Okay.”

“We’re gonna do it sometime in August if that’s okay with you.”

“Sure”, Cal replied.

“And I’m gonna ask another guy to come as well. His balls are as weak as yours. We could catch two birds with one stone if we manage to toughen up both of your--- well, all four of your nuts.”

Cal chuckled. “Okay.”

“Great. Oh, by the way, we are doing a little summer special for the website. Would you mind taking part in that? That’d be great. But it would have to be next week. I doubt we’ll be able to set up the training camp before that”, I said.

“Sure, why not”, Cal said cheerfully.

I explained the premise of our summer special and Cal seemed eager to participate.

“As for the training camp”, I said. “I’m gonna set up a date and send you an email, alright?”


I hung up and smiled.

My cameraman Chad came into the studio and looked at me, amused. “What’s up?”

“Well”, I grinned, dialling Zach’s number. “Cal is going to do an episode for ‘Summer in the city’. And after that Leo and Tristan are going to help us beef up Zach’s and Cal’s nuts.”

Chad chuckled.

Zach picked up the phone.

“Hi, Zach”, I said explained the situation.

“I don’t know”, he said when I was finished. “Do you think that’s necessary?”

I paused. “Well”, I said slowly. “Look at your record. Your nuts aren’t that tough, are they?”


“Don’t you think it’ll be the best for all of us if we help you get stronger testies?” I suggested.




“Listen, why don’t you come over to the studio, I’m gonna show you something”, I said.

“Okay, what about tomorrow?”

“Great, see you then”, I said and hung up.

“What are you going to show him?” Chad asked.

“Well”, I grinned. “I’m going to show him that his balls are weak.”

Chad laughed.


Carter said...

Great concept.
I'd love to go. Too bad I don't meet the qualifications.

Alex said...

Thanks foe your comment, Carter! I'm sure we can make an exception and invite you to come... :-))