Monday, December 2, 2019

The B Factor - Keep smiling! (Elimination #2)

In our second elimination round of The B Factor we asked you to answer the following question: Who has the sexiest smile? 259 votes have been counted, and here are the results.

(The full, unredacted results of the elimination rounds will be published before the final episode of The B Factor.)

SAFE FOR NOW (in alphabetical order):
Chris Evans
Jack Falahee
Jake Gyllenhaal
Liam Hemsworth
Shawn Mendes
Taylor Lautner
Timothee Chalamet
Tom Holland
Zac Efron

THE BOTTOM TWO (in alphabetical order):
Noah Centineo
Nolan Gould


Nolan Gould with 2% of the vote.

Last week you sent the oldest candidate home – today it’s the youngest. Nolan Gould is eliminated from The B Factor – and here’s his punishment.


Keep smiling!

Featured in this story: Nolan Gould, Ty Burrell and Kev (click for pictures)

Everybody knew what Nolan Gould’s Achilles’ heel was. He was likeable and funny as the dimwitted son of the chaotic Dunphy Family – but when it came to being cool or sexy Nolan wasn’t what you would call an intuitive casting choice.

The crew of “Modern Family” knew that, and they had written some hilarious storylines for him. Nolan was aware of his shortcomings, and he had asked fellow actor Ty Burrell for advice. Ty played his father on the show, and Nolan had a good relationship with him.

In real life, Ty shared some of the character traits of his fictional character, and he wasn’t exactly known for being the most responsible adult in the cast.

That should have made Nolan think twice about asking Ty for help, but it didn’t.

“Just keep smiling”, Ty said with a confident grin as he positioned Nolan in front of him. “Whatever happens just be cool, be sexy and keep smiling.” He made Nolan stand with his hands behind his head and his legs spread. “I have asked a friend to help us.”

A young man entered the room, wearing a baseball uniform, holding a baseball bat. Kev had a cheerful smile on his face and looked ready to hit some balls out of the park. “Where are the balls?” he asked with a grin.

“Right here”, Ty smiled, pointing at Nolan’s crotch.

Kev chuckled. “Nice”, he grinned and lined up the bat.

Nolan blinked. “I’m not sure this is going to work”, he mumbled.

“Oh, it’ll work, trust me”, Kev chuckled.

Nolan chuckled nervously as Kev tapped his crotch with the business end of the bat.

“Listen to me”, Ty said with a fatherly smile. “I’m an expert on flirting with girls. You might call me a flexpert.” He waited for Nolan’s response.

Nolan stared at him.

“A flirpert”, Ty added with a confident smile. “An experflirgir.”

Nolan raised his eyebrows.

“Anyway”, Ty said. “You gotta understand: You have to be cool and sexy and keep smiling even though girls are going to give you one low blow after the other.”

“Metaphorically speaking”, Nolan said slowly.

Ty shrugged. “And literally.” He grimaced as he shifted uncomfortably, apparently re-living a very painful hit in the babymakers. “Trust me.”

Nolan let out a sigh.

“So if you’re able to smile through this you’ll be able to keep your cool anytime”, Ty said. “Now pretend that I am a girl you are flirting with.” He struck a girlish pose, fluttering his eyelashes and puckering his lips.

Nolan smiled weakly.

“Very good!” Ty said as he started prancing around in front of Nolan, pretending to be a girl. “Keep smiling! Be sexy!”

A split-second later, Kev’s baseball bat connected with Nolan’s crotch and wiped the smile off his face.

Nolan let out a dry cough as he doubled over, his hands on his knees, grimacing in pain.

“Be sexy!” Ty said cheerfully, wiggling his butt at Nolan. “Keep smiling!”

Kev had another swing at Nolan’s nuts, driving the baseball bat into his groin once more. It connected perfectly, landing right on target and flattening the bulge in Nolan’s pants.

Nolan let out an anguished yelp as he tried to maintain a smile.

“Keep smiling!” Ty said cheerfully, throwing Nolan a kiss. “Be sexy!”

The baseball bat found Nolan’s rapidly swelling balls once again, crushing his nuts and eliciting a shrill shriek from the young man.

Nolan’s smile had all but vanished.

“Be sexy!” Ty said cheerfully, pretending to play with his voluptuous breasts. “Keep smiling!”

Kev swung the bat again, delivering another annihilating blow to Nolan’s manhood.

Nolan’s eyes crossed and he let out a wheezing groan.

“Keep smiling!” Ty said cheerfully, shaking his head as if he was a long-haired sex goddess. “Be sexy!”

Another nut-crunching blow to the nuts from Kev’s baseball bat made Nolan yodel in agony.

“Be sexy!” Ty said cheerfully, licking his lips. “Keep smiling!”

Kev delivered another picture-perfect swing to the nuts that made Nolan’s eyes roll back into his head.

“Keep smiling!” Ty said cheerfully, pretending to pinch his nipples. “Be sexy!”

The next blow to his babymakers lifted Nolan off the ground.

When he landed on the ground, he collapsed and curled up in a ball, clutching his nuts, moaning in agony.

“Be sexy! Keep smiling! Are you smiling?” Ty asked cheerfully.

“No”, Nolan whispered in a hoarse voice.

“Are you smiling on the inside?” Ty asked cheerfully.

“I think my nuts are mush”, Nolan whimpered.

Kev grinned proudly as he leaned onto his baseball bat, a cool and sexy smile on his face.

“Okay, that's--- Okay, we can work with that”, Ty said with a smile, nodding slowly as he kneeled down, patting Nolan’s back. “Not bad. Not bad for the first time, son. We might need some more practice, though. Maybe the baseball bat was a little harsh.” He looked up at Kev. “Do you know a kickboxer?”


Two down, ten to go. The B Factor continues!

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