Logan's series of unfortunate events (Mickey meets Logan)

Special thanks to Mickey for the idea for this story! If you (yes, I mean you, witch!) would like to meet the Ballbusting Boys and see yourself in a story please read this post for more details.

Featured in this story: Logan, with a cameo by Zach (click for pictures)

Warning: Can contain traces of cum.

Witches are real. They don’t ride brooms, they don’t have warts on their noses and they don’t look hideous and old – in fact, they come in all shapes and sizes: men and women, boys and girls, and everything in between.

The particular witch that this story is about is called Mickey. Back in school he was a small, scrawny, clever boy, a typical nerd. When he hit puberty, his body didn’t change much. He grew into a small, scrawny, clever young man and stayed a typical nerd. But with the testosterone came his magic powers. People said that Mickey was a descendant of a long line of witches hailing from the United Kingdom. Some suspected that he was a second cousin, thrice removed, of Boris, the current Grand Witch of the British Isles, Teller of Tales, Protector of Marvellous Fantasies and Master of The Simple Mind. Others didn’t care about Mickey’s ancestry.

Many were afraid of his powers, though. And some very unfortunate souls had felt the wrath of Mickey in their own loins…

You didn’t want to cross 18 year old Mickey. You didn’t want to incur his wrath if you loved your love life. You didn’t want to be in his crosshairs if your testicles meant anything to you.

On this fateful day Mickey took a walk in the park, minding his own business, when suddenly a volleyball hit him in the head.

It was a minor event for Mickey – but it was the start of a very painful 24 hours for the young man who caused it…



***

“I’m sorry”, Logan chuckled, picking up the ball.

The 18 year old high school senior was shirtless, wearing nothing but a pair of sweat pants. Judging from the movement inside them when Logan was running, he wasn’t wearing any underwear. His athletic body was glistening with sweat. He ran his hand through his hair and looked at the small, scrawny, clever young man that he had hit right in the head.

Mickey blinked, looking dizzy and confused.

“You okay, Mickey?” Logan asked, putting his hand on his class mate’s shoulder.

When he saw the large red mark in the shape of a volleyball on Mickey’s forehead he couldn’t help but laugh out loud.

“Sorry I hit you”, he chuckled, quickly regaining his composure. “I didn’t see you, little guy.” He patted Mickey’s head and ruffled his hair in a playful if slightly irritating gesture. “No offense.”

He picked up the ball and turned on his heels.

Little did he know how sensitive Mickey was about his height.

Little did he know that Mickey hated having his hair ruffled.

Little did he know about the meaning of the words that Mickey was mumbling.

Little did he know that this was the moment that his nuts were doomed…

***

4:13 pm
TAC*: 5 minutes

* TAC (= Time After Curse) is the international witch time code in the Northern Hemisphere, every ocean and the Polynesian Islands except Tuvalu. (Don’t ask. Witch time is complicated.)

Nobody thought anything of the fact that the volley ball changed its trajectory mid-flight to hit Logan square in the crotch – anything other than that it was completely hilarious, that is.

The sound of the impact was pure comedy gold. It was the tell-tale triple smack of a freeballing sack: smack 1 marked the initial ball-to-sack contact; smack 2 signified sack-to-taint connection when the ball bag swung back between Logan’s thighs; smack 3 indicated sack-to-thigh contact when the ball bag returned to its original position. There was an additional smack when – in a rather freakish coincidence that Logan’s buddies found positively hysterical – Logan’s hands came down to grab his balls, only to hit himself in the nuts.

Logan’s face was incredible, the stereotypical nutshot expression, eyes crossed, mouth wide open, a look of pain and confusion and embarrassment on his face, mixed with a hint of worry for the health of his unborn children, and a dash of sadness at the realization that his sex life was going to be on hold for the time being.

Logan’s friends burst out laughing, mocking their buddy with jokes and taunts.

“That’s gotta hurt!”

“Right in the kiddie kitchen!”

“There won’t be any kids coming out of that kitchen soon…”

Logan sank to his knees, clutching his nuts as his friends roared with laughter.

Watching from the bleachers not far off, Mickey smiled and adjusted his glasses.

***

5:11 pm
TAC: 1 hour and 3 minutes

The pain in his nuts ended the volleyball game pretty quickly, but before Logan went home he stopped by the library to return some books and have a talk with the girl that had the late shift.

Logan had a girlfriend but his good looks and his charming personality made him very attractive to many girls (and some boys) at school. Logan knew that nothing serious would ever come of it, but he enjoyed a little flirt now and then.

He was looking deep into the librarian’s eyes when he pulled the books from his bag.

“I checked them all”, Logan smiled, showing his perfect white teeth. “None of them is overdue.”

The librarian giggled and scanned the barcode of the first book.

“So what are you doing tonight?” she asked shyly.

Logan leaned onto the counter and smiled. “Well, I---”

He was rudely interrupted when a drawer opened miraculously, out of nowhere, slamming right into Logan’s crotch. The knob of the drawer connected perfectly with Logan’s, ramming his dick and his balls into his body.

Logan’s cheeks puffed and he let out a wheezing groan, freezing in pain.

The librarian scanned the barcode of the second book, completely oblivious to Logan’s pain. “Are you going out or something?”

Logan gasped for breath.

The drawer slid back into the counter, only to slam into Logan’s crotch once again, crushing his tender nuts once more.

Logan’s eyes watered.

The librarian scanned the barcode of the last book. “You don’t have to tell me or anything”, she shrugged. “Nevermind.”

Logan blinked. “I think I’m going to sit on the couch and have some ice”, he said in a strained voice, trying to mask his pain and embarrassment.

“Sounds fun”, the librarian replied. “Have a nice day.”

Logan nodded and turned, holding his breath, walking awkwardly and slightly bow-legged out the door until he allowed himself to double over and grab his crotch, groaning in agony.

From behind a book shelf, just out of sight from Logan, Mickey smiled and straightened his tie.

***

6:23 pm
TAC: 2 hours and 15 minutes

On his way home, Logan stopped by a mall to grab a bag of ice. When he drove into the parking lot, it started raining heavily. Despite the pain in his testicles, Logan stepped out of the car and ran across the parking lot.

Before he reached the door, he ran crotch-first into a pole that stopped him dead in his tracks.

His eyes widened and instantly crossed as the pain spread through his body.

A group of people was inside the mall, waiting for the rain to stop. They were delighted by the slapstick entertainment, erupting with laughter and applause as Logan collapsed on the ground.

Their delight intensified when an old lady rushed towards the door, wielding her walking stick like a weapon. It found Logan’s crotch like a guided missile, piercing Logan’s manhood and making him scream in agony as the rain poured down on him.

Two security guards had mercy on the poor soaking wet stud and dragged him into the mall. They weren’t the brightest bulbs in the box, though, and it took them several cringe-inducing attempts until they realized that that the pole that had stopped Logan’s path in the first place was a serious obstacle worth considering when dragging a young man by his feet.

The crowd inside the mall reacted with collective “Oooooh!”s and “Owwww!”s to every unwitting attack on Logan’s most precious possessions as the two guards slammed his crotch against the pole again and again and again. Finally, when Logan’s vocal range had reached the dizzy heights of a Swiss schoolgirl’s bell-like voice, the two zany sentinels mercifully ended their buffoonery and chose another route into the mall, one that included less danger to Logan’s chances of ever fathering children.

Accompanied by the crowd’s riotous laughter and mocking applause, Logan curled up in a ball, whimpering in pain as he cradled his crushed nuts.

Far away, in the bus that took him home every day, Mickey smiled and grabbed his book bag.

***

6:36 pm
TAC: 2 hours and 28 minutes

Now, Logan needed that bag of ice more than ever.

Completely drenched, with his wet clothes clinging to his body, Logan wobbled through the mall, back from the department store.

Word about the hilarious happenings had spread through the mall, and people stopped and pointed at Logan, laughing at his funny walk and his pain-filled face.

Logan passed a group of kids that he recognized from his school.

“I hope you made a deposit at the sperm bank!” one of them quipped, much to the amusement of his friends.

Logan grimaced and walked past them.

The escalator was closed due to maintenance, and Logan had to take the stairs.

Every step hurt, and Logan decided to slide down.

It was a bad decision because he lost control of his movements midway down.

Somehow, he ended up straddling the rail which turned out to be somewhat less than perfect because the end of the rail was embellished with a very beautiful und very large knob. Funnily enough, it was the only such knob in the whole building, and on this fateful day, it served two functions: marking the end of the rail, and marking the end of Logan’s virility – at least for the time being.

Logan came to a very abrupt halt when his nuts were flattened by the oversized knob which, curiously, had just the right width to crush both of Logan’s testicles and a carved protrusion that put a dent in Logan’s cockhead as well.

Logan screamed from the top of his lungs.

At the top of the stairs, his school mates roared with laughter.

“Tooooooooot! Sperm factory is closed tonight!” one of them yelled.

The laughter and the jeers echoed in Logan’s head as he limped to his car.

Arriving at his home after his daily commute, Mickey smiled and jumped onto his bed.

***

8:22 pm
TAC: 4 hours and 14 minutes

Logan spent a while in his room with a bag of ice on his crotch, but he came down to have a late dinner with his dad Bradley.

Bradley noticed that Logan was unusually silent and tried to cheer him up by telling him a few jokes.

“What has three balls and flies though space?” Bradley grinned. “E.T. the Extra Testicle.”

Logan chuckled weakly as his dad roared with laughter.

“What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common?” Bradley tried again. “Their balls are just for decoration.”

Again, Bradley snorted with laughter but Logan barely managed a smile.

“Come on, Logan, cheer up!” Bradley chuckled, patting his son’s shoulder. “Wanna hear another one?”

“Not really, dad”, Logan mumbled. “I’m not in the mood.”

Bradley shrugged his shoulders. “Okay, son. Just one more. Last one, I promise.”

Logan rolled his eyes.

Bradley smiled at him. “What’s the capital of Thailand?” He leaned forward, ready to smack his son in the nuts for the punch line.

Logan’s eyes widened as he swiftly got up, protecting his crotch with both of his hands. “No fucking way, dad! You’re not going to hit me in the nuts!”

Bradley let out a sigh. “What’s up with you today, son? The old ‘bang cock’ joke is a classic. It’s comedy gold. Everybody loves it!”

“Not today, dad”, Logan said emphatically. “You can hit me in the nuts anytime – but not today.”

With that, Logan turned and stormed out of the room.

At least he tried.

Unfortunately, he stumbled over his own feet and landed on the floor, square on his back, taking his chair with him.

The chair tumbled and fell on top of him, the backrest landing right between Logan’s thighs, hitting his traumatized testicles dead-on.

Bradley couldn’t stop laughing as Logan howled in pain, writhing on the floor, cupping his nuts.

Back at his home, at the dinner table, Mickey smiled and dabbed his mouth with a napkin.

***

9:10 pm
TAC: 5 hours and 2 minutes

Logan decided to go to bed early today.

His nuts were killing him, and he had to see if everything was still working.

He lubed up his dick and started jerking it like he always did when he needed relief.

At first, everything was okay, and Logan’s big, fat cock quickly hardened just as always.

His nuts were hurting like mad but Logan found solace in the fact that his massive boner didn’t seem to be affected at all.

“Fuck yeah”, Logan mumbled as he rubbed his monster cock. “Maybe an orgasm will stop my balls from hurting…”

Even though he tried to make sure not to hit his swollen nuts on the downstroke, he inadvertently punched them a couple of times – but it was worth it if it meant draining his nuts and stopping the pain.

But then, just as Logan was about to shoot his load, things changed.

It started with a tickle in the tip of his dick but soon his shaft felt like it was on fire.

It was as if his lube had been magically replaced with IcyHot.

At first, Logan tried ignoring it and applying more lube – but that only made matters worse.

Within seconds, Logan’s throbbing dick was beet red.

“No!” Logan moaned, desperately jerking his cock until the pain was just too intense. “No!”

He stared at his crotch, watching his flaming red boner deflate.

“No”, he whispered as his erection wilted. “No.”

Logan buried his head in his pillow. Now his nuts were aching, his dick was burning – and he was horny as hell!

Back in his bed, having just experienced a very satisfying orgasm, Mickey smiled and licked the cum off his fingers.

***

10:23 pm
TAC: 6 hours and 15 minutes

11:41 pm
TAC: 7 hours and 33 minutes

12:57 am
TAC: 8 hours and 49 minutes

2:12 am
TAC: 10 hours and 4 minutes

3:26 am
TAC: 11 hours and 18 minutes

4:18 am
TAC: 12 hours and 12 minutes

5:13 am
TAC: 13 hours and 5 minutes

Logan’s night was rough. He didn’t sleep for more than an hour at a time, and in his sleep, he was haunted by nightmares that caused him to punch himself in the balls in order to put out a fire, to squash a bug, to entertain his friends or for some other bizarre reason.

Every time he punched himself he woke up from his sleep, screaming and panting, paralyzed by the pain that was radiating from his tender testicles.

Sleeping soundly in his own bed at the other end of the town, Mickey smiled and enjoyed the sweetest of dreams.

***

6:35 am
TAC: 14 hours and 27 minutes

Tired and exhausted after a long night with little sleep and a lot of nut pain, Logan walked into the bathroom, only to be greeted by his cheerful father.

“I owe you a punchline”, Bradley said with a mischievous grin before smacking Logan in the nuts with the back of his hand. “Bangkok!”

Logan screamed from the top of his lungs and collapsed on the floor, much to his dad’s amusement.

Humming happily as he brushed his teeth in his bathroom, Mickey smiled at himself in the mirror.

***

7:54 am
TAC: 15 hours and 46 minutes

Instead of driving to school, Logan stopped by his friend Zach.

Logan didn’t usually skip class – but this was a testicular emergency!

Zach was a little older than Logan. He looked like Logan’s older brother – a little more muscular but just as handsome and just as blond – and sometimes he acted the part, giving Logan advice when he was at his wits’ end.

Maybe it was due to Zach having recently binge-watched old episodes of “Supernatural” with his girlfriend, maybe it was because Zach’s huge cock made him more susceptible to signals from the testicular twilight zone – Zach immediately understood the grave danger that Logan and his testicles were in.

“It’s a curse”, Zach said. “Your nuts are cursed.”

Logan blinked. “You’ve got to be shitting me.”

Zach shrugged his shoulders and turned to pick up an empty beer can from the floor of his room. “Look at this”, he said.

He let go of the can, and it moved as if by an invisible hand, gathering speed very quickly until it slammed into Logan’s crotch.

Logan’s cheeks puffed and he let out a strained moan as the pain washed through his body.

“Not convinced yet?” Zach said and picked up a few more objects that took on lives of their own and found their way into Logan’s groin, crushing his nuts in rapid succession.

A book, a pair of socks, an ashtray, one of Zach’s boots, his baseball bat, a bag of chips, a basketball, the other one of Zach’s boots, a wrestling trophy, a tennis racket, an umbrella – they all found their way to Logan’s nuts.

Logan oofed and owed with every impact, and his face displayed every nuance of nut pain.

Zach made sure to film a couple of hits with his mobile phone. (This was just too good to pass up on.)

It didn’t take more than a dozen hits to the nuts to convince Logan, but Zach added a few more for good measure.

“Your nuts are cursed”, he repeated, looking down at Logan who was writhing on the floor, whimpering in pain, clutching his crotch. “And there’s only one way to lift the curse.”

Zach paused for dramatic effect and to watch one of his shoes to come off his foot and slam into Logan’s balls.

“You’ve got to confront the person who’s responsible.”

Arriving at school and walking into his class, Mickey felt a tingle in his loins. Something was brewing.

***

8:32 am
TAC: 16 hours and 24 minutes

Zach made Logan go through everything that had happened yesterday, only pausing occasionally to cause some heavy object or another to hit Logan in the nuts.

It was hilarious.

Sitting in his class, Mickey smiled and scratched his crotch.

***

11:57 am
TAC: 19 hours and 49 minutes

After more than four hours of thinking (and nutshots), it hit Logan like a ton of bricks.

“It” was a literal claybrick that one of Zach’s frat brother had fetched from his room for the occasion. (By now, Zach’s room was filled with guys roaring with laughter every time someone caused a random object to collide with Logan’s private parts.)

But “it” was also the realization that Mickey had to be the one behind the curse.

“It’s the only possible explanation”, Logan said in a pitiful moan, an echo of all the nutshots that he had taken in the past twenty hours.

“Okay, this is where things get interesting”, Zach said, leaning forward.

“I called him ‘little guy’ and ruffled his hair – that must have annoyed him!” Logan said, his eyes growing wide.

Zach shrugged. “Yeah, I’d put a curse on your nuts, too, if you ever did that to me.”

Logan nodded slowly. “That’s it. That’s gotta be it!”

A ski hit Logan square in the nuggets, making hm wail in agony as Zach’s frat brothers cheered and laughed and high-fived.

“Leave the room, guys!” Zach yelled, shoving his frat brother out the door. “Leave the room!”

They spent the next two hours coming up with a plan on how to confront Mickey and get rid of the evil curse.

After coming up and dismissing several elaborate ideas they finally come up with a plan that couldn’t go wrong.

“A wrestling match”, Logan said, smiling weakly as he rubbed his aching nuts. “Perfect.”

In the cafeteria at school, Mickey squashed a pair of potatoes with his fork and smiled.

***

2:20 pm
TAC: 22 hours and 12 minutes

When Logan pulled Mickey out of class, Mickey first thought that Logan was going to beat him up. It was only when Logan led him to a wrestling ring that Zach had set up on the school’s field that Mickey realized that things were heading in a different direction.

“I challenge you to a wrestling match”, Logan said. “The winner gets to decide whether the curse continues.”

Mickey shrugged his shoulders. “Okay.”

“You can have one of my old wrestling singlets”, Logan said as he took off his clothes, revealing that he was already wearing a singlet.

“Thanks, but no thanks. I don’t need a singlet”, Mickey said matter-of-factly. “I’ll wrestle you in my street clothes.”

Slowly but steadily, a crowd began forming around the wrestling ring.

Logan was one of the hottest and most popular students at Bartlet High, a wrestling champion with numerous trophies under his belt, and Mickey was just a nerd.

Many people in the audience expected this to be an easy win for Logan.

It wasn’t.

From the very first moment, Mickey wiped the floor with poor Logan – and he didn’t even lift a finger. He just stood in the corner of the ring and watched as Logan defeated himself. At least it looked like that to the audience who went through the four stages of witnessing testicular witchcraft (surprise, disbelief, fascination and utter delight) very quickly.

Whatever Logan did, whatever move he tried to apply, he ended up injuring his throbbing, swollen testicles.

When he tried to lunge at Mickey, his stepped on a loose deck board that went up in a very odd arc, smashing Logan straight in the junk.

Logan’s eyes bulged and he let out a wheezing cough, his eyes wide open and slightly crossed.

The audience gasped in unison, and some people laughed out loud as Logan stumbled through the ring, stepping on more loose deck boards and getting hit in the balls again and again and again like the protagonist of a slapstick short film.

To avoid any more testicular trauma, Logan climbed onto the ring – only to lose balance and crotch himself on the rope, much to the amusement of the crowd.

It went on and on like that:

A sliding kick ended with Logan sliding crotch-first into the turnbuckle.

A grappling hold caused him to smush his fruitbasket on Mickey’s knee.

A very misguided attempt at a chokehold made Logan choke his own trouser snake.

The audience laughed and cheered with every nutshot, and soon they were chanting “Mickey! Mickey! Mickey!”

Mickey smiled. He had never wrestled before – but witchcraft beats experience anytime, and with very little effort Mickey dominated Logan like Logan had never been dominated before.

Logan gasped and groaned, whimpered and moaned as Mickey made him freeze in very awkward and very vulnerable positions, only to kick his nuts or to punch them, to squeeze them or to give them a crowd-pleasing slap.

After more than an hour of constant ballbashing, Logan let out a whispered submission.

“I give”, he croaked, his nuts swollen and bruised, his face contorted in pain.

The audience was laughing and cheering, completely oblivious to Logan’s surrender.

“I can lift your curse”, Mickey said softly. “But there’s for a price.”

“Anything!” Logan whimpered. “My nuts are killing me!”

“Anything?” Mickey smiled.

Logan nodded, exhausted and defeated, his head clouded by the excruciating pain that was radiating from his precious jewels.

“I want your cum”, Mickey said with the sweet, innocent smile of a mighty sorcerer who always got what he wanted one way or the other.

Logan could only nod.

Around them, the cheers and laughter reached a deafening climax as Mickey stripped Logan of his singlet, exposing his muscular body and his ridiculously swollen, purple, bruised balls that dwarfed his sizeable penis and made it look like a tiny little snail.

Mickey kicked Logan’s bare balls with all the force he could muster, eliciting a shrill squeal from Logan and riotous laughter from the crowd.

Again and again, Mickey kicked and stomped Logan’s balls as the audience clapped and cheered.

The snail quickly turned into a reasonably stiff snake as Mickey wreaked havoc on Logan’s tortured testicles.

Finally, after a series of hard, relentless kicks and some additional magic that stimulated Logan’s prostate, Mickey extracted a huge load of cum from Logan’s battered balls, a very creamy and delicious sample of Logan’s powerful love potion.

Mickey made sure to drain his balls completely, emptying Logan’s sperm tanks to the last drop, leaving the handsome wrestler dizzy and tired and in so much pain that he all but passed out.

Mickey looked at his watch. It was 4:08 pm.

He licked his lips and smiled.

***

4:08 pm
TAC: 24 hours

“Fun fact”, Mickey said with a smile. “It was a 24 hour curse so it would have been over now, anyway.”

With that, he turned on his heels and left the ring.

The crowd was busy taking pictures and sharing them on social media.

They didn’t care for the nerd who had defeated the wrestling champion. They just wanted to take a selfie with the humiliated stud who had his ass handed to him.

***

Miraculously, nobody could remember the specifics of the hilarious incident on the field.

You would expect some consequences. An arrest for indecent exposure for Logan. A reprehension, probably even an expulsion for Mickey. A nationwide social media scandal around lewd pictures shared by a group of highschoolers. The exposure of a long line of witches hailing from the United Kingdom. Maybe even the ouster of Mickey’s second cousin, thrice removed, of Boris, the current Grand Witch of the British Isles, Teller of Tales, Protector of Marvellous Fantasies and Master of The Simple Mind.

None of it happened.

The only one who had any detailed recollection of the incident were Mickey and Logan.

They didn’t talk about it.

It was a secret between them.

Occasionally, Mickey would shoot Logan a little wink that made him blush.

And occasionally, Logan would walk over to Mickey and call him “little guy” and ruffle his hair, knowing full well what was in store for him for the next 24 hours…