Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Sexy Santa and his nutcrunching elves: How the elves saved Christmas

Warning: Can contain traces of egg nog.

The North Pole lay quiet and still on this beautiful Christmas afternoon. Another business year for Santa and his little helpers had come to end, and all that was left after the letter reading, gift wrapping, sleigh riding, chimney jumping and stocking stuffing was the book keeping which – thank goodness – had been outsourced to the South Pole years ago.

The part time elves and guest workers had left their quarters and gone home (wherever that was) for a couple of months to come back when the 2013 season started. The workers’ houses were dark, only the headquarters were ablaze with light.

A dozen of senior elves had convened in the common room on the first floor. Each and every one of them was an experienced and stalwart fellow, having been in attendance for a couple of decades. They were a jolly bunch of slender, petite, gracefully built guys who looked as if they had just come of age even though they a lot older. That was one of the advantages of being an elf: The aging process stopped right after puberty. All of them were fair-haired, with blue eyes and delicate features. In any other world, they would have been subjected to name-calling and bullying for their sissy-like appearance. But here, they were the masters of a magical universe of enchantment and gaiety.

Their striking resemblance made them virtually indistinguishable – especially to the new Santa who kept confusing their names. Well, the new Santa wasn’t exactly new. This was his tenth season – but still, everything seemed new and exciting.

Ten years ago, the old Santa had retired – much to the relief of the elves. He had been an ugly slob, with a pot belly and an unkempt beard. He had been hiding his balding head under a red hat for the last few years.

One can imagine the excitement at the North Pole when the new Santa arrived. He was a young, fit, handsome bloke in his mid-twenties with a full head of brown hair, like a prince from a fairy tale. The elves had fallen in love with him on his first day, and a couple of them fainted when he offered right away that they call him by his first name, Nico.

Over the years, the elves had managed to swipe a couple of gifts, mainly high-tech products that had been intended for ill-mannered boys and girls who quite frankly didn’t deserve those kinds of presents. That way, they had created a surveillance system in the Santa Suite of the mansion – unbeknownst to hot if slightly na├»ve Nico. There were cameras in the gym, the bedroom, the bathroom, the sauna and the showers – and the elves had formed a habit of convening every night in the common room in front of a 3d projector live feed to watch Sexy Santa strip down naked and go through his routine of working out, relaxing in the sauna, taking a bath and going to bed.

Every evening, the elves would bring him a cup of egg nog that they made especially for him. Nico never wondered how the elves knew that he had just hopped into his bed and slipped under the sheets when they knocked on the door and brought him his egg nog. And he never wondered why the elves’ egg nog tasted a bit different from the egg nog he knew...

So the North Pole lay quiet and still on this beautiful Christmas afternoon.

The elves were watching Nico in the gym, drooling and sighing as his naked body moved, his muscles flexed and his beautiful, big, soft cock dangled between his legs and his huge sac of ripe, low-hanging balls rested peacefully between his thighs.

“That body”, Timothy sighed.

“Those muscles”, Jonathan sighed.

“That cock”, Theodore sighed.

“Those balls”, Benjamin sighed.

All twelve of the senior elves were stroking their elven dicks and fondled their elven jewels inside their felt pants.

“He’s so beautiful”, Theodore moaned, stroking his dick. “I wouldn’t mind a mouthful of that beautiful schlong.”

The elves giggled.

“Imagine all the cum that is stored in those incredible balls of his”, Benjamin whispered, feverishly rubbing his cock. “He hasn’t shot a load since he arrived here ten years ago…”

Jonathan groaned. “I’m close! Give me the cup or I’ll jizz all over the floor!”

Quickly, Timothy handed Jonathan Nico’s cup and Jonathan clenched his eyes shit as his elven cock unloaded a big, creamy load of spunk into it.

One after the other, the elves shot their cum into the cup until it was filled to the brim.

Timothy held the cup up and smiled. “Nice work, guys.” He grabbed a spoon and carefully stirred the dozen loads. He licked the spoon and said with a dreamy look of his face, “Delicious.” Then his eyes turned to the video projection. “Oh, I gotta hurry”, he gasped as he saw that Nico had already slipped into his bed.

He hurried out of the room and arrived at Nico’s door a few moments later. He knocked and opened it.

“Your egg nog”, he said softly as he placed the cup on Nico’s beside table.

“Oooh”, Nico smiled. “You are too kind – that’s a big cup!”

Timothy fluttered his eyelashes. “You may want to drink it right away. It’s still warm”, he said gently.

“Thank you so much”, Nico sighed and took a sip from his cup. He licked his lips. Those elves knew how to make egg nog!

“Good night.” Timothy took a bow and turned on his heels.

Nico cleared his throat. “You don’t have to prepare dinner for tomorrow, by the way. I have a date.”

Timothy’s eyes widened and his face went pale as ashes.

“A date?” he whispered without turning around.

“Yes, a proper date”, Nico said cheerfully, taking a big gulp of that delicious egg nog.

“With whom?” Timothy asked in a toneless voice.

“Candice”, Nico said casually. “She’s a girl I know from back in the day.”

Timothy gasped. “A mortal?”

“Yup”, Nico said. “Good night… erm… Benjamin?”


“Oh, yes, Timothy, right”, Nico said. He’d never learn all those names. “Good night, Timothy.”

Without responding, Timothy left the room and closed the door behind him. This was bad news. Very, very bad news. It was time for an emergency meeting. Timothy rushed into the common room that was deserted. His fellow elves had gone to their respective bedrooms to coax another load out of their cocks. Every one of them had a comprehensive collection of dildos and vibrators that they had swiped from undeserving house wives and vile suburban homosexuals.

Timothy rang the emergency bell, and within minutes, all the elves had reconvened in the common room in various states of undress. Some of them were completely naked, one of them held a huge golden dildo in his hand and looked especially impatient.

“What is it?” Benjamin asked, glancing at his lubed dildo that was all prepared and ready for action.

“Sit down”, Timothy whispered. “I have bad news.”

“Oh no”, Theodore said, his eyes filling with tears. “What is it?”

Timothy bit his lower lip. “Sexy Santa…” He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. “… is in love…”


“…with a mortal.”

There was a huge commotion as various elves screamed in shock and horror. Theodore fainted and only woke up when Benjamin slapped his face with his dildo.

“You know what that means”, Timothy continued. “This is the beginning of the end. I don’t have to remind you that the old Santa was young and beautiful once, too. Until he fell for a mortal woman.”

Theodore was crying softly, hugging Benjamin’s dildo and rocking back and forth.

“He lost his youthful looks. His cock shriveled to mortal dimensions.” Timothy had a disgusted look on his face. “His balls dried up and all but disappeared. His hair---“ Timothy shuddered. “His hair went white and covered his whole body. His beard grew and grew. His nose went as red as Rudolph’s. And his belly---“

Theodore let out a whimper.

“I know”, Timothy said in a grim voice. “I know.”

“We can’t let that happen”, Benjamin said slowly. “We just can’t.”

“We are responsible for him”, Jonathan chimed in. “We’ve nurtured him and gave him our juice so that his muscles grow and his aging stops.” He stood and slammed his fist on the table. “We can’t let that happen!”

“But what can we do?” Theodore sobbed. “Once his…” He gagged. “Once his dong has entered a mortal’s ding there is nothing to stop it!”

Timothy sighed. “Oh, I know.”

Theodore wailed in despair as tears were streaming down his face.

For a couple of minutes, nobody said a word.

Finally, Timothy spoke up. “I suggest we take a vote.”

Benjamin raised his eyebrows. “A vote?”

Timothy nodded. “Are we going to let it happen, or are we going to save Christmas?”

The rest of the elves looked at him.

“There will be confusion and chaos. We’ve all seen it: He will get old and demented, little kids will get the wrong gifts, the reindeer will suffer from burnout, the staff will go on strike. Christmas will not be the same.”

The elves slowly nodded.

Timothy looked at them. “So I say let’s do what it takes to save Christmas! Who’s with me?” He held up his hand.

Slowly, each and every one of the elves raised his hand.

Timothy nodded. “So it’s decided. We’re gonna save Christmas!”

Theodore dried his tears and looked at Timothy. “But how?”

Timothy smiled. “Oh, I have an idea that most certainly will stop Sexy Santa from lusting after a mortal woman for a while – or any woman for that matter. And chances are that we are going to enjoy ourselves very much…”

A huge smile spread on Theodore’s face as the rest of the elves clapped their hands and cheered.


Nico was sleeping in his room, a huge erection tenting his blanket as he dreamt about doing deliciously naughty and nice things to Candice.

Suddenly the door burst open and the elves swarmed the room.

Nico blinked sleepily as the elves jumped on his bed. Within seconds, they had pulled away his blanket, exposing his rock-hard boner that swayed majestically back and forth, and sat down on his legs and arms. Two elves on each leg, one elf on each arm, completely immobilizing the sexy stud. Timothy, Theodore, Benjamin and Jonathan surrounded his crotch, staring at his immaculate genitalia. His cock was huge, an impressive monument of beauty, its head glistening, its veiny shaft the size of an elf’s arm, his meaty nuts as big as a pair of juicy apples.

“What’s going on?” Nico asked in a sleepy voice.

Timothy was sitting on his belly, facing away from him. He turned around and caressed Nico’s handsome face. “Trust us”, he said softly. “This is for your own good.”

Nico raised his eyebrows. “What are you talking about?”

“We have to save Christmas”, Timothy smiled gently and stuffed a pair of elf underwear into Nico’s mouth, causing Nico to let out a muffled yelp. Timothy turned away and backed up until his cute little butt bumped against Nico’s face. He shivered as he felt Nico’s breath in his crack.

“Benjamin, you take care of his cock”, Timothy said. “Theodore and Jonathan, you get one nut each.”

Nico tried to struggle and scream, but to no avail.

“Think of all the children who love gifts and Christmas trees! Think of all the children who’ll never be happy again of we don’t do this!” Timothy said in a festive voice. “Let’s milk him dry and bust his balls!”

The elves nodded and cheered.

“Maybe we could sing a song?” Theodore suggested. “After all, everything is better with music…”

Timothy nodded. “You are right! Two, three, four!”

The room filled with the elves’ beautiful voices as they sang “Hark! The angels sing” in an amibitious quadruple counterpoint.

Immediately, Benjamin wet his hands with spit and started stroking Nico’s huge, heard schlong with both of his hands, running up and down the meaty shaft in gentle, slow strokes.

At the same, Theodore and Jonathan each grabbed one of Nico’s oversized testicles in their delicate hands and squeezed as hard as they could.

The elves ignored Nico’s muffled screams of protest that were drowned out by their song.

Theodore and Jonathan concentrated hard as they dug their thumbs into the soft flesh of Nico’s tender sperm containers, making sure to circulate their thumbs in order to achieve maximum effect. They smiled at each other as they felt the huge, solid globes squish between their fingers.

After the first verse of the song, they switched places and continued to apply their very effective squeezing technique. After the second verse, they each weighed one of Nico’s balls in their hands, balled their slender hands into fists and started hammering down on Nico’s nuts to the beat of the music.

Nico’s eyes watered and he retched in pain, causing the elves to continue with renewed energy.

Benjamin was gently stroking Nico’s huge dong, noticing with a smile the steady flow of precum that was running down the length of his shaft, acting as the perfect lube for Benjamin’s expert handjob.

Theodore and Jonathan looked at each other and smiled as their hands wreaked havoc on Nico’s reproductive organs, pulverizing his colossal glitter balls with blow after agonizing blow of their fists. Even though their arms were starting to grow tired and their hands started hurting, they never missed a beat, slamming their scrawny fists into Nico’s poor, aching gonads with fierce determination.

When the song ended, Timothy examined the damage. Nico’s balls were considerably swollen, now filling the entire sac, bulging obscenely against the fiery red skin.

Nico was sobbing in pain, whimpering and moaning.

“Good work!” Timothy announced. “Thank you, elves!”

Nico sighed in relief. He managed to spit out the underwear that was drenched in his spit. “Thank God”, he croaked. “Now let go of me!”

“One more song and we’re done”, Timothy smiled.

Nico’s eyes widened. “What?”

“Where’s the bowl?” Timothy asked.

Benjamin produced a big, porcelain bowl with Christmassy ornaments all over it. “It’s here. It won’t take long…”

“No!” Nico whimpered.

Theodore and Jonathan got up and stood between Nico’s wide spread legs.

“Jingle Balls!” Timothy announced. “Two, three, four!”

“Jingle balls, jingle balls,
Jingle all the way,
Oh, what fun it is to crack
Some nuts on Christmas Day. Hey!
Jingle balls, jingle balls,
Jingle all the way,
Oh, what fun it is to take
Your Santa spunk away.”

The room was filled with song and screams as Timothy and Jonathan slammed their tiny feet into Nico’s huge nuts at the sound of the music. Both of them enjoyed kicking a ball around now and again in their free time, and it showed: Each of their precise, tremendously hard kicks landed right on target, flattening poor Nico’s nuts like pancakes and making him scream from the top of his lungs. He sounded like he was trying to provide a – rather off-key – descant to the elves’ voices. But even is he didn’t hit the right notes, his high-pitched shrieks were music to the elves’ ears.

“He’s close!” Benjamin announced suddenly, stopping the jolly song mid-verse as all the elves shifted their attention to Nico’s crotch.

Benjamin was right. Nico’s cock was spasming and twitching.

“Yes!” Theodore and Jonathan rejoiced and kicked Nico’s throbbing nuts even harder.

“The bowl!” Timothy said.

As soon as Benjamin had handed Timothy the porcelain bowl, he pointed Nico’s huge, throbbing erection at it – not a second too early! The oversized meat pole erupted with a gigantic load of cum that splashed in to the bowl in big, wet jets as Nico wailed in pain and pleasure.

Jonathan and Timothy quickly knelt down between Nico’s thighs and grabbed Nico’s nuts with their delicate hands, squeezing hard with determined expressions on their faces.

“Make sure that there is not a drop left!” Timothy shouted as Nico was wailing and screaming in agony. “Think of the children!”

“What?!” Nico screamed, his face contorted in a mask of pain as the final wave of his sticky cum oozed into the bowl.

“The children!” Timothy repeated, smiling at him.

“But what about my children?” Nico shrieked as Jonathan and Theodore squished and squashed his nuts flat in their hands.

Timothy raised his eyebrows. “Don’t be selfish”, he said gently. “You are Santa!”

Theodore and Jonathan let go of his balls and gently laid them down between Nico’s thighs.

Timothy looked at the big porcelain bowl in his hands that was filled with Nico’s creamy load. And what a huge load it was! He dipped his finger into the sticky soup and tasted it. Not bad. Not bad at all. He almost wanted to have it for himself. But then he reminded himself that they were not doing this out of self-interest.

He smiled at Nico and brought the bowl to his lips. “Drink this”, he said softly. “You’ll feel better…”

Nico gagged in disgust as Timothy poured the salty stud sauce down his throat. When the bowl was empty, Timothy sighed. It was done.

The elves jumped off the bed and smiled at Nico who curled up in his bed, sobbing in pain, clutching his sore balls, the taste of his own cum lingering on his tongue.

“I’ll be right back. Let me just fill the bowl with egg nog”, Timothy said. “The rest of the elves will help me. It won’t take a moment.”

The elves left the room and Timothy returned a few minutes later, carrying the bowl that was filled to the brim. He placed it on Nico’s bedside table.

Before he left, he turned to Nico. “I guess you don’t want to see that girl tomorrow, right? I’m gonna call her, okay?”

Nico whimpered in agreement.

Timothy smiled. They had done it. They had saved Christmas. He thought about the millions and millions of people who waited for Santa every year.  “Merry Christmas to each and every one of you!”


bbmal said...

After reading this story, I'm totally ready to sign up to be one of Santa's little helpers! And finally, an explanation as to where egg nog comes from, or rather, cums for! Naughty elf spunk! Who would have thunk it? ;-)

Alex said...

Thanks for your comment! You know what they say: The naughtier the elves the better the egg nog... ;-)

Anonymous said...

Very sexy! And very festive!

Alex said...

Thank you! I'm glad you liked my little Christmas story!