Sunday, December 21, 2014

Video links: Christmas nutcrackers

Tis the season, my friends, and to get you in the mood for the upcoming holidays I decided to share my favorite Christmas themed nutshots with you. I'm not talking about fictional scenes from movies or TV shows (like this one or this one) but about real guys crunching their real nuts in a more or less festive atmosphere...

Let's start with the Jedward Twins. Last year, the two hyperactive Irish lads starred in the Christmas play "Beauty and the Beast", and in an improvised bit one of them kicks the other in the nuts on stage.

(skip to 0:35 for the kick, and watch the kicker clutch his crotch in fear of a counter attack at 0:50)

We couldn't possibly go on without taking a look at the self-proclaimed "king of the nutshot", Nasty The Horse of "America's got talent" fame. Dressed as Santa, he smashes his testicles on a balance beam. Well done!

In another clip (from NubTV's 2011 Christmas series "12 shots of Christmas") The Horse lets his friends slam shot glasses on his bare balls (the nudity is censored).

When Spanish jackass group The Dickstroyers created the first season of 100 reasons why we won't have children* (every single one of them highly recommended) they created not one but two Christmas themed nutshots.

* Unfortunately, they aborted their second season of 100 reasons after just 25 episodes. Apparently they were caught in the middle of a nationwide scandal (at least I think that's what happened - my Spanish isn't that good...)

One clip features one of them dressed as Santa, and another one dressed as a Christmas tree. What follows is a ballbusting stunt called "palmering" (= "tree jumping"). See for yourself:

Another clip is a very elaborate piece that features a Christmas party and ends with a Champagne cork fired at a hapless guy's nutsack. Those guys know how to party!

Speaking of party: What better way to celebrate Christmas than hitting a friend in the balls like in this clip called The Most Painful Christmas Present? In their own words: "Getting in the Christmas Spirit is always fun, especially when it involves shooting your friend in the groin region with a paint ball gun."

Santa costumes are a very popular device for guys who want to create a christmassy atmosphere in their nutshot videos. Guess what happens in this video called Santa Tire Swing Nutshot?

Another Santa gets smashed in the nuts by a sled in this clip:

Sometimes, Santa needs a little help so his nuts get crunched properly. Blessed are those who have a little helper to kick them in the nuts like this lucky guy in the clip Elf and Safety (The NutCracker)...

But it's not always Santa whose balls have to suffer. This is how The Lazy Generation's Bell Brothers describe what happens in the following clip: "Young Troy has been a bad elf. He must be punished. 'Give him the boot' they say. So we do, right in his little elf balls."

And, finally, here is another elf getting his nuts smashed in Accident Prone TV's 2012 Christmas special. This little guy goes to great lengths to build a nut-crunching device for a segment called appropriately titled "Deck The Balls".

I really like their dialogue after the elf gets his nuts crunched:  "Have the balls officially been decked?" - "They have been decked clearly."

(skip to 2:47 for the "Deck The Balls" skit. If you want to find out what "Blue Ball Removal" might mean, you might want to start a little earlier at 1:10)

Well, now that the balls have officially been decked, we can look forward to Christmas, right?

You favorite Christmas nutshot clip has not been mentioned? Let me know by commenting on this post or sending me an email ( and I'll add it to this post.


Carter said...

Awesome selection.

Alex said...

Thanks for your feedback, Carter!