World Cup Testers: Extra time for Brazil

Special thanks to Fernando, one of our Mexican readers, who came up with the idea for this little story.

Warning: Can contain traces of cum.

Hulk

Júlio César

 Givanildo Vieira de Souza looked miserable. The 27 year old stud was one of Brazil’s most famous soccer players. A huge, muscle-bound hunk, Giovanildo went by the nickname “Hulk” due to his extraordinary built physique, and he certainly lived up to that name.

We were at the FIFA World Cup in Brazil, filming a couple of short, fun skits for a viral marketing campaign. Last week, we had met Brazil’s star player Neymar and apparently we had left quite an impression.

After Brazil’s match against Chile, we had received a call from him, asking if we’d be interested in doing a little video starring Hulk and Brazil’s goalie Júlio César. The match had been very exciting, ending in a nerve-wrecking penalty shootout. Brazil’s goalkeeper had shown an incredibly strong performance, saving two shots from Chilean players and sending Brazil through to the round of eight in the international tournament.

Hulk, on the other hand, had failed. His shot had been comparatively weak, directed right at the Chilean goalie, and he hadn’t been able to score.

Now, Júlio had an ax to grind with Hulk, and we were very lucky that he had decided to let us witness sturdy Hulk’s humiliation.

My cameraman Chad, young marketing consultant Kieran and I had decided to stay on the sidelines for this. We were just going to let the camera roll and stay out of the picture, allowing Júlio to take the stage and do whatever he wanted with Hulk.

Hulk knew what was in store for him. The muscle-stud was shirtless, wearing nothing but a loose pair of blue soccer shorts. The thin, shiny fabric of his shorts couldn’t conceal that Hulk’s genitalia seemed to match the rest of his body: the bulge in his groin looked huge, as is he was hiding a king size sausage and a pair of big tomatoes inside his underwear.

Hotdogs: Zach's ballbash barbecue (3)

Update 11/24/2018: Artwork restored.

Special thanks to my friend Champ for the inspiration, the idea, a lot of plot details - and this awesome piece of art!

Warning: Can contain traces of cum.

Featured in this story: Ben, Cal, Kev and Zach (click for pictures)

Cal, Kev, Zach and Ben were sitting around the table, chomping on meaty hotdogs, chicken drumsticks and burgers. Even though the delicious taste in their mouths couldn’t whitewash the churning pain in their meaty balls, they were happy for a brief timeout from all the ballbreaking mayhem they had endured.

When Zach reached for the last hotdog, the precious break for the stud’s bulging basket was over, however.

Sitting opposite from him, Kev had an eye on the hotdog, too. And he was in a perfect position to stop Zach from taking it. With a swift motion, he brought his foot up and sent it crashing between Zach’s thighs.

Zach’s nuts were held snugly by his tight shorts, and they had nowhere to go when the tip of Kev’s foot crashed into them, catching both of them dead-on and driving the air from Zach’s lungs.

“You could have asked, you know”, Kev said with a good-natured smile before kicking Zach’s nuts again under the table as hard as he could.

Zach let out a miserable yelp as the pain exploded from his oversized testicles. One hand clutching the much sought-after hotdog, the other one slowly reaching for the thick, plump meatballs between his legs, Zach groaned in pain but refused to let go of the hotdog.

Kev raised his eyebrow. “Come on, we could share it, you know?”

“After you kicked me in the nads?!” Zach grunted. “Fuck you!”

World Cup Testers: Do you want more?

Originally, I wanted to write five stories about the World Cup and end the series with the Argentina episode I posted earlier today. Then our Mexican reader Fernando inspired me to write another instalment that's going to be online on Friday, starring Brazil's Hulk and Júlio César.

But what's going to happen after Friday? The World Cup goes on - do you want more stories starring ruthless ball kickers from international soccer teams? And if so, who do you want to see? I'd love to hear your opinion.

There's only one rule: If a team is out, it's out. Sorry, Spain, Italy, England, Chile, Greece, Mexico, Nigeria etc. - you won't get a turn at kicking our guys' balls. I know it's hard. But you should have worried about that before you decided to let yourself get kicked out of the tournament... ;-)

World Cup Testers: Argentina

Warning: Can contain traces of cum.

Featured in this story: Zach (click for pictures)

Lionel Messi had a skeptical expression on his face. “I don’t know”, he said slowly. “I guess there was a misunderstanding. I thought you wanted me to kick some balls, you know, like, normal balls.”

The 27 year old Argentine looked helpless, searching for words. It was weird. Lionel Messi had who won countless prizes, an Olympic gold medal among them, and held the Guiness World Record for scoring 91 goals in a single year. And yet, he seemed like a regular guy who wasn’t sure what to do. A regular guy dressed in Argentina’s official colors: white shorts, a white jersey with light blue stripes, white socks and soccer cleats.

After meeting a couple of very confident soccer stars over the last few days, it was somehow refreshing to see that the greatest star of them all was the most down-to-earth person among them.

We were in Brazil at the FIFA World Cup, and we were on a mission to have the most famous soccer players use their skills to knock down the sperm count of our models. Young marketing consultant Kieran had devised a viral media campaign for BULL’S EYE protective cups, and this was our fourth day of shooting.

Kieran smiled at Lionel. “Don’t worry, it’s okay.” He pointed at Zach. “He’s a professional.”

Muscular superstud Zach grimaced. He was naked except for a jockstrap that had the BULL’S EYE logo on it. Not very surprisingly, the logo consisted of a large, bright red bull’s eye that was conveniently placed right at the front of the jockstrap’s pouch.

World Cup Testers: Germany

Featured in this story: the twins (click for pictures)

Thomas Müller and Mesut Özil burst out laughing.

Both of them star midfielders on the German national soccer team, they were wearing the team’s home kit, black shorts and white shirts with white socks and soccer cleats.

24-year-old Thomas looked at his buddy and grinned. “Gleich gibt’s Rühreier…”

Mesut broke out laughing.

We were at the FIFA World Cup in Brazil, working with young marketing consultant Kieran to shoot a couple of video clips promoting BULL’S EYE protective cups. Kieran had come up with a simple idea that had convinced the BULL’S EYE executives, and we had been able to sign some of the most prolific and successful soccer players of the world to participate in our little skits.

“What did he say?” Kieran asked me.

I grinned. “They are looking forward to it”, I said. “He joked about scrambling some eggs.”

World Cup Testers: Netherlands

Featured in this story: Kev (click for pictures)

Jasper Cillessen had a wide grin on his face. The 25 year old goalkeeper of the Dutch soccer team, must have experienced hundreds of memorable moments on the field but today, it seemed, was a special day for him.

He was wearing his light green soccer clothes, a jersey, a loose pair of shorts, socks and socker cleats.

He greeted 20 year old Kev with a firm handshake. Kev was the prototypical jock, a handsome guy, tall and fit, with muscles in all the right places.

“Nice to meet you”, Jasper said, smiling.

Kev grinned. “Likewise. I gotta say, I’m not much of a soccer fan, I’m more a baseball kind of guy, you know. But I heard a lot about you and from what I’ve seen on the internet you have a strong kick. Especially when the ball’s not rolling.” He chuckled. “I guess I’ll get some first-hand experience today, huh?”

Jasper laughed. “Well, that’s what we’re here for, right?” He playfully slapped the big bulge in Kev’s jockstrap.

World Cup Testers: Brazil

Featured in this story: Leo (click for pictures)

Neymar da Silva Santos Júnior cracked his knuckles. “I’ve been looking forward to this”, he grinned. The Brazilian star soccer player was shirtless, wearing a pair of blue shorts, white socks and bright pink soccer cleats.

Millions of fans, male and female, were in awe of the 22 year old’s outstanding skills on the field. He was the top goal scorer for the Brazilian national team and the star of countless wet dreams worldwide.

Neymar was a great looking guy and he knew it. Every opportunity he got, he took off his jersey and showed the world his muscular abs and chest.

He had agreed to film a commercial for a healthy sum of money, and he looked like he was going to enjoy it.

“You just kick him in the nuts as hard as you can”, marketing consultant Kieran explained. The 23 year old had scored a million dollar deal with BULL’S EYE protective cups who wanted to break into the market and weren’t afraid of breaking a couple of balls in the process.

Kieran’s idea was simple. Step 1: Film famous soccer players kicking hot guys in the nuts. Step 2: Post the videos on youtube. And before you can say Step 3, the videos go viral and BULL’S EYE protects every single nut in the Northern hemisphere.

We had brought a couple of our models to Brazil to provide the nuts for Kieran’s marketing campaign. Money wasn’t an issue so we had been able to pay the guys extraordinarily well, and it seemed that they were looking forward to getting their balls smashed as much as the players were looking forward to smashing them.

Our skater boy Leo, 19 years old, tall and lanky with curly black hair and brown eyes, came out of the changing room, naked except for the product we were going to promote. He was wearing a jockstrap with a big, red bull’s eye on the front. In his right hand, he was holding the matching cup, a cheap plastic thing with a similar bull’s eye on it.

“Here are the balls”, Kieran smiled, pointing at Leo’s midsection.

Hotdogs: Zach's ballbash barbecue (2)

Update 11/24/2018: Artwork restored.

Special thanks to my friend Champ for the inspiration, the idea, a lot of plot details - and this awesome piece of art!

Featured in this story: Ben, Cal, Kev and Zach (click for pictures)

It took Kev and Zach a couple of minutes until they were sitting at the table, occasionally rubbing their sore equipment that was barely covered by their skimpy clothing.

Ben stood in front of the grill. Grimacing in pain, he grabbed the tong and picked up the thick piece of meat that resembled Zach’s heavy dick.

“Okay, it’s ready. Who---“

“Me!” Both Zach and Cal raised their arms.

Ben raised his eyebrows. “Want me to cut it in half?”

Both Zach and Cal looked at the obscene hotdog and winced, comically covering their crotches. They shook their head simultaneously.

Kev rolled his eyes. “Okay, guys, let’s solve this the manly way. The one with the biggest cock gets the biggest hotdog.” He grinned. “Whip ‘em out, guys. Dicks on the table.”

Zach chuckled. “No prob.” He weighed his heavy package in his hand and smirked at Cal. “I’m game.”

World Cup Testers: Kickoff

The FIFA World Cup inspired me to write a couple of short stories that I’m going to publish over days of the Eighth-Finals (Saturday thru Tuesday). I whipped them out very spontaneously this week after catching a serious case of Wold Cup Fever and watching almost all of the World Cup matches so far... The stories are pretty straight-forward and simple... I hope you enjoy them! (And make sure to watch the game today! Keep your fingers crossed for Team USA and Germany to advance to the knockout round... :-))

Featured in this story: Phil (click for pictures)

“We have a deal, then?” the attractive young marketing consultant extended his hand.

“Yeah”, I said, smiling. We shook hands.

His name was Kieran and he was wearing a smart black suit with a white shirt and black leather shoes. He had a trained, muscular body, a tanned complexion and tousled brown hair.

“This is going to be one hell of a campaign”, he chuckled. “The videos are going to explode all over the internet.” There was a hint of insecurity in his handsome face. “Right?”

“Absolutely”, I assured him. “Everybody loves a good nutshot. And what better way to promote the new BULL’S EYE protective cups than the FIFA World Cup?”

“That’s what I told them”, Kieran nodded emphatically. “I hope they’ll go for it. I mean, money isn’t the problem. They have more than enough to pay the best soccer players in the world to kick a few balls. I told them, ‘Let’s do it at the World Cup. All the players that you want are there, and everybody is talking about them.’ I’ve already talked to some of them and I’ve got very positive feedback. Apparently, they are jumping at the chance to kick some human balls around for a change…” Kieran chuckled.

“So you really believe in the product, huh?” I asked.

Kieran stared at me. “Of course not. I mean, would you buy a protective cup with a bull’s eye on it?” He scoffed. “I’ve played baseball for most of my life and I would never ever wear that thing. You’re basically inviting your team mates to have a go at your nuts, right?”

Hotdogs: Zach's ballbash barbecue (1)

Update 11/24/2018: Artwork restored.

Special thanks to my friend Champ for the inspiration, the idea, a lot of plot details - and this awesome piece of art!

Featured in this story: Ben, Cal, Kev and Zach (click for pictures)

“Hey Zach, this hotdog is almost as big as your cock!” Ben shouted, laughing.

The 20 year old jock was standing at the barbecue grill, wearing nothing but a pair of skimpy black speedos that were barely able to contain his ample manhood. The flimsy fabric was bulging, leaving nothing to the imagination, showing the outline of Ben’s juicy cock and his big nuts.

Ben’s muscular body was glistening with sweat. It was a hot summer day, and the fact that Ben had volunteered to operate the grill and was standing near the fire made his sweat pores work in overdrive.

In the pool, muscular swimmer Cal was floating on a pool ring, his eyes closed, enjoying the sun.

“Huh?” Zach grunted. The blond frat guy wasn’t paying attention. He was wearing a tight-fitting grey t-shirt and a pair of blue baseball shorts that looked like they were a little bit too small to hold his oversized genitalia. He had a huge dick and a hefty pair of balls to match. His short blond hair disappeared under a blue baseball cap.

He was playing catch with Kev, each of them having their left hand inside a baseball glove, throwing a baseball back and forth. Zach’s heavy wooden baseball bat was lying in the grass near the pool. Someone from Zach’s frat had written “Zach has an even bigger one” near the Rawling’s “Big Stick” logo.

Just like Zach, Kev was wearing a ridiculously tight-fitting pair of old school baseball shorts that looked like they were about to burst at the seams. At the back, his muscular butt was pressing against the green fabric, at the front, his big package was pushing forward. Kev had thrown his t-shirt onto the ground and was playing shirtless, displaying his muscular, tan chest.

“I said, this hotdog is almost as big as your dick”, Ben repeated.