Sammy the ball doctor: Setting the stage

Featured in this story: Danny and Sammy (click for pictures)

A few days ago we were at the skate park watching Leo, Tristan and his skater buddies crunch their nuts in various ways. One of the skaters was Sammy, an 18 year old redhead, freckles all over his face, with an impish grin and obvious delight in getting his hands on his mates’ nuts.

He had – half jokingly – suggested to star in a little series as “Sammy the ball doctor”. Chad and I had talked about it and we thought it might be a nice addiction to our website. Sammy had given me his phone number so I called him today.

“Hi, Alex”, he said. “I wondered if you’d call me.”

“Well, of course”, I replied. “I want to take you up on your offer to star in our original series ‘Sammy the ball doctor’.”

Sammy laughed. “You sure?”

“Absolutely. We thought we’d have a different guest patient in every episode and you’ll… well… ‘cure’ them…” I explained.

“By crunching their nuts, I suppose?”

“That’s the idea.”

“Sounds fun”, Sammy chuckled.

“Chad has access to a gynaecological chair and we’ll get you a white lab coat and a few other things so that you can properly treat your patients. We’ll be shooting in the practice of a doctor friend of mine.”

“Great”, Sammy rejoiced. “That’s so cool!”

“The episodes will be pretty short. Five minutes tops.”

“Okay.”

“And we thought it’d be best if the first patient was Danny, with him being an actor and all…” I suggested. “Chad and I’ll think of some symptoms that we’ll give him right before we start shooting and the two of you will improvise on that, okay?”

“Sure.”

“Fine. Why don’t we shoot the first episode the day after tomorrow?”

“Cool.”

“I’ll have to talk to Danny to see if he’s available. I’ll send you an email with the exact time and address, alright?”

“Yeah”, Sammy said quickly. “I’m looking forward to it!”

“Me too”, I chuckled. “Bye.”

Now I dialled Danny’s number and told him about the project.

He was reluctant at first. But his attitude changed after I had told him that his acting skills were called for.

“Oh, I’m good at improvisation”, he said. “Don’t worry.”

I suppressed the urge to tell him that his nuts were going to play the starring role and his acting was just a nice addition.

Danny started to think about his role. “I’ll make him someone who doesn’t go to the doctor’s very often so that he is a bit intimidated by the place. Or--- perhaps he’s a hypochondriac. Maybe he--- Do you already have a name?”

“Erm. I thought we’d call him ‘Danny’.”

“Oh.” Danny was disappointed. “I see.”

“But that’s a big challenge, isn’t it?” I said hastily. “Playing a different version of yourself…”

Danny was silent. “Maybe. Is Sammy going to have a role name?”

“No, he’ll be ‘Sammy the ball doctor’.”

“Okay. I’ll think of something…”

I sighed. “Alright. So you have an appointment for the day after tomorrow.”

“I’ll be on time. See you then.”