Tuesday, November 10, 2020

The B Factor - Season 2: Target practice (Elimination #6)


In our sixth elimination round of The B Factor - Season 2 we asked you to answer the following question: Who is most likely to take part in a game of nut ball? 194 votes have been counted, and here are the results:

SAFE FOR NOW (in alphabetical order):
Dave Franco
Dylan O'Brien
KJ Apa
Nick Jonas
Taron Egerton

THE BOTTOM TWO (in alphabetical order):

Chris Hemsworth
Ryan Reynolds

AND THE LOSER IS:



Ryan Reynolds with 26,5% of the vote. 

(More than one answer per vote was possible, so the total percentage adds up to more than 100%. The full, unredacted results of the elimination rounds will be published before the final episode of The B Factor.)

It was very close at the bottom of the list. In fact, we had a tie between Chris Hemsworth and Taron Egerton fifth place, and Chris landed in the Bottom Two by the result of a coin flip.

But one things is for sure: Ryan got the fewest votes. He is out, and here's his story.

*** 

Target practice

Featured in this story: Ryan Reynolds

“No, pal, sorry”, Ryan Reynolds chuckled. “No way.”
 
The handsome Hollywood hunk was leaning against the garage door in his brother’s driveway, wearing jeans and a shirt, hanging out with his 18 year old nephew Jimmy and some of Jimmy’s friends from the neighborhood.
 
Jimmy and his friends had started a youtube channel, posting videos of pranks and silly skits, of ridiculous stunts and hilarious experiments. Their most successful videos had been silly duct tape stunts – taping people together for a three legged race, using tape to rip the hair from their arms, legs or chests – and, naturally, nutshots.
 
Ryan had taken part in a few of their videos, usually doing prank calls pretending to be Ryan Gosling. Today, Jimmy and his friends had a new idea for a video with his uncle.
 
“Oh come on, do it”, Jimmy smiled at his uncle. “That video would go viral in no time!”
 
Ryan let out a laugh. “Yeah, I know. And that’s exactly why I’m not going to do it. My agent would kill me. I can see the headline: ‘No more kids for Ryan Reynolds’.” He chuckled, shaking his head. “No way, pal. You play nutball without me.” He adjusted his crotch. “My nuts are not going to go viral…”
 
Jimmy looked at his uncle. “You sure?”
 
“One hundred percent, pal”, Ryan chuckled.
 
Jimmy looked at his friends. “Okay, posse. Plan B.”
 
With a battle roar, the teenagers overpowered the handsome actor.
 
A little while later, Ryan found himself in a very precarious position: duct-taped to the garage door, his arms and his legs spread wide. Jimmy and his friends had done a good job, taping him to the wall in a spread-eagle position, completely immobilized. The only parts of his body that weren’t covered in duct-tape were his head and his midsection.
 
“Guys! This isn’t funny!” Ryan chuckled nervously. “It really isn’t funny.”
 
“Well, Uncle Ryan”, his nephew chuckled, checking the camera. “I think it is. It’s very funny.”
 
Ryan’s eyes widened as he watched his nephew take a bucket of red paint and draw a bull’s eye on his crotch.
 
“Jimmy!” Ryan groaned. “You can’t do this!”
 
“Oh yes, we can”, Jimmy replied, smacking the famous actor in the nuts with the business end of the brush.
 
Ryan let out a yelp.
 
“Come on, guys, let’s do this!” Jimmy yelled, grabbing a bucket filled with old baseballs and providing every guy in the room with a ball.
 
Jimmy turned to the camera and grinned. “I’m Jimmy, and this is ‘Target Practice’.”
 
With that, they started firing the balls at Ryan’s balls.
 
The first ball hit him in the leg, the second one missed completely, but the third one was a direct hit.
 
“Fuck!” Ryan yelled as the ball hit him right in the nuts.
 
The kids cheered and laughed, gleefully aiming for the famous actor’s most prized possessions.
 
It didn’t take long until the second nutshot elicited a high pitched squeal from Ryan and riotous cheers from the boys.
 
“You’re getting better”, Ryan croaked in a meek attempt to own the situation. “That was a pretty good shot.”
 
The third hit to Ryan’s nuts was delivered by his nephew. It was a glorious shot, right in the center of the target, flattening the bulge in his uncle’s jeans and making him squeal like a banshee.
 
Jimmy’s friends roared with laughter, high-fiving and cheering as they took a little break to let Ryan catch his breath.
 
They continued for another ten minutes, smashing Ryan in the nuts dozens of times and eliciting all kinds of noises.
 
A few days later, the video went viral, becoming a media sensation, and providing ample fodder for talk show hosts and comedians.
 
Ryan’s agent wasn’t particularly pleased with the headline, though: “No more kids for Ryan Gosling”.

***


Six down, six to go. The B Factor - Season 2 continues!

2 comments:

JJ said...

Great story!

Alex said...

Thank you, JJ! I'm glad you like it! :-))