The B Factor - The Weenie Wizard (Elimination #1)

In our first elimination round of The B Factor we asked you to answer the following question: Who has the biggest dick? 280 votes have been counted, and here are the results.

(The full, unredacted results of the elimination rounds will be published before the final episode of The B Factor.)

SAFE FOR NOW (in alphabetical order):
Chris Evans
Jack Falahee
Jake Gyllenhaal
Liam Hemsworth
Noah Centineo
Shawn Mendes
Taylor Lautner
Timothee Chalamet
Tom Holland
Zac Efron

THE BOTTOM TWO (in alphabetical order):
Leonardo DiCaprio
Nolan Gould

AND THE LOSER IS:

Leonardo DiCaprio with 1% of the vote.

The Father of the House is eliminated from The B Factor – and here’s his punishment.

***

The Weenie Wizard

Featured in this story: Leonardo DiCaprio and Vince (click for pictures)

Leonardo DiCaprio stared at his crotch, grimacing in pain. The 45 year old actor had started acting at age 7, and since then his films had earned more than 7 billion dollars worldwide. He had received five Academy Award nominations, winning one, and ten Golden Globe Award nominations, winning three. And now, at 45, his agent had told him that there was something that was holding him back: his small dick.

Poor Leo had always been ashamed of it. He had never done full frontal nudity on camera, and he had turned down several juicy roles because he wouldn’t show his weenie. It wasn’t exactly a microdick – but it was definitely way below average. The right word for it was probably “tiny”, and his agent had told him in no uncertain terms that he had to do something about it.

So here he was, in the middle of some experimental treatment in a dubious part of town, naked, dangling from the ceiling in a spread-eagle position. His wrists and ankles were tied to wooden planks (“For your own safety, sir.”) and heavy weights were attached to his dick and to his balls.

A professional ‘size enhancement assistant’ was adding more weights, stretching poor Leo’s dick and balls and making him scream in agony.

“Don’t worry, sir”, Vince said as he rolled in a little machine and placed it between Leo’s feet. He tugged on the weights that were hanging from Leo’s dick, stretching the little worm and eliciting an anguished yell. “A little more stretching and it’ll be almost average size.” He whistled cheerfully as he attached a piece of rope to the head of Leo’s dick, another one to Leo’s left nut, and a third one to Leo’s right nut. “That is, if it doesn’t rip off first”, he added with a wink.

Then Vince pressed a button on the machine and it started whirring and buzzing as it pulled the ropes tight, mercilessly stretching Leo’s dick and balls.

Vince had created the machine himself. He called it the Weenie Wizard, and he hadn’t been able to test it, yet. Leo’s dry-aged piece of meat was just the right thing for the Weenie Wizard’s first employment. Leo’s agent had signed a waiver, and it wasn’t like there was that much damage to be done.

Vince looked on as Leo’s eyes widened as his dick and balls were stretched. “Looks like it works”, he smiled happily.

He was a very talented engineer but you could never rule out a spontaneous malfunction which would have led to rather messy result…

Leo screamed from the top of his lungs, drowning out the machine that was yanking on his dick and balls, relentlessly threatening to rip off his most prized possessions.

Vince looked at his watch and smiled. “See in you after lunch”, he said matter-of-factly before heading out for a break, leaving Leo screaming and squirming as the machine pulled on his genitals.

An hour later, Vince returned.

Leo’s voice was hoarse and throaty, his naked body covered in cold sweat.

Surprisingly, his genitals were still intact.

His nuts were swollen severely, beet red and bloated, and his dick looked like it might have grown a quarter inch or so, but maybe that was just imagination.

The handsome 45 year old superstar looked a little dizzy when Vince freed him from the contraption. Gingerly, Leo grabbed his dick and examined it. It was limp and sore, and it looked pretty ridiculous next to his swollen, oversized balls.

“I don’t think this method is working”, Leo whispered hoarsely.

Vince smiled and smacked Leo’s nuts with the palm of his hand, winking at the Hollywood hunk who shrieked in agony and doubled over. “Let’s not rush to judgment, okay?” he explained with a smile as Leo sank to his knees, clutching his crotch. “We have eleven more therapy sessions to go. See you next week!”

***

One down, eleven to go. The B Factor continues!