One on one: Leo vs. Phil

Featured in this story: Leo and  Phil (click for pictures)

“It’s been a while since I’ve been in a one on one fight”, Phil said, leaning back in his chair, his legs spread wide apart. The 18 year old star soccer player was wearing soccer shorts, a tight-fitting jersey, and sports shoes. He ran his hand through his red hair and looked at the young man sitting opposite him.

Leo was 19 years old, a handsome guy with curly black hair. His lanky body was covered in too-large clothing, a black XXL t-shirt and a pair of baggy knee-length cargo pants that had probably been black originally but had turned into an indefinable, dark grayish color. His sneakers looked equally old and well-worn, as did the skateboard that was sitting on the ground between Leo’s legs.

“How did it go?” Leo smiled at Phil.

I filled their glasses with iced tea.

“Not too bad”, Phil said with a chuckle. “We didn’t compare sperm counts but I’m pretty sure the other guy got it worse than me.”



Leo smiled cockily. “Well, today it’s a whole different ball game.”

Phil grinned. “Wait till you feel my penalty kicks…”

The two guys shared a laugh.

“I don’t suppose you’ll take it easy on me?” Leo said with a grin.

“Well, will you go easy on me?” Phil retorted.

“No fucking way”, Leo said without a moment’s hesitation. “I’m gonna smash your little English balls so hard you’ll be walking funny for a week!”

They both burst out laughing.

“We’ll see who will be walking funny”, Phil replied with a cheeky grin.

Leo chuckled. “Yeah, probably both of us…”

Again, they burst out laughing.

I turned to my cameraman Chad who was setting up the equipment for our shoot. “Ready?”

Chad nodded, and I walked over to Leo and Phil.

“We’re ready to start”, I smiled.

The boys got up.

“Want me to take my clothes off?” Leo asked.

“That’d be nice”, I said.

Leo nodded and stripped to his boxers, revealing his pale, skinny body. He kept his socks and sneakers on.

“What about me?” Phil asked.

I looked at him. He looked very hot in his soccer outfit. “You’re not wearing a cup, are you?”

“Nope”, Phil grinned before taking a wide stance and shaking his hips. The sound of his genitals smacking against his thighs echoed through the studio. “I’m freeballing.”

Leo and I laughed.

“Sounds juicy”, Leo quipped. “I can’t wait to turn those things into paste…”

Phil chuckled.

“Okay, keep your clothes on”, I said. “I’m sure Leo will try and rip them off your body first thing…”

Leo nodded emphatically, causing all three of us to laugh out loud.

After I had explained the rules – there were none – and they had delivered an opening statement to the camera, introducing themselves and promising to rob their opponent of his sex life in a lot of colorful words, we were ready to start.

 The boys faced each other.

“You know, I keep wondering”, Phil said. “Do people actually enjoy watching us bust each other’s balls?”

Leo shrugged. “I sure hope so. Because we certainly don’t enjoy this…”

They looked at each other and laughed.

“Action!” I shouted.

Phil didn’t lose any time. He knew that his balls weren’t his strongest assets so he went on the attack right away, kicking his leg up into the air, aiming for Leo’s groin.

Leo was able to jump to the side just in time, avoiding the potentially nut-shattering impact and dealing out a blow of his own. His fist dashed forward, hitting Phil square in the gut and knocking the wind out of his lungs.

Phil yelped in pain and doubled over, grimacing. “Hey, I thought we were going for the---“

He was interrupted by a mean, hard uppercut that connected squarely with his free-hanging junk, ramming his tender jewels into his body.

“Bollocks!” Phil croaked as the first wave of pain radiated through his body.

Leo had a huge grin on his face as he watched Phil fall to his knees. “So much about your famous penalty kick, huh?” The grin was quickly wiped off, though, when Phil brought his fist up between Leo’s thighs, smashing his balls into his body and making him scream in agony.

He folded at the waist and sank to the ground, clutching his nuts.

They were kneeling opposite each other, their faces contorted in pain, their hands clasping their genitals.

Suddenly, Phil let out a grunt and lunged at Leo, throwing him onto his back and straddling him, his knees resting on Leo’s shoulders.

Phil’s hands sneaked inside Leo’s boxers and grabbed hold of his nuts. With his free hand, he yanked on the waistband of Leo’s underwear until it ripped off his body, revealing Leo’s meaty dick and his plump balls that were held in a vise-like grip by Phil.

Throwing the shredded boxers away, Phil balled his fist and sent it smashing down on Leo’s trapped testicles, flattening them like pancakes and eliciting an anguished wail from Leo.

Punch after punch met Leo’s precious jewels, making Leo scream in agony.

Leo tried frantically to throw Phil off of him but the skinny skater was no match for the athletic soccer player who continued to thrash poor Leo’s babymakers with punch after nut-crunching punch.

Finally, with the strength of a man desperate to lose his ability to father children, Leo pushed Phil forward. His hands raced to the back of Phil’s soccer shorts, his fingers clamped around the waistband and he yanked upwards with all the force he could muster, giving Phil a major wedgie that made him loosen his grip on Leo’s nuts.

The two boys toppled to the side.

Leo was holding on to Phil’s shorts, pulling and yanking as hard as he could, until the flimsy fabric was torn at the seams, exposing Phil’s naked butt. Without wasting any time, Leo’s fingers crawled between Phil’s thighs and grabbed his balls. He twisted his hand, making Phil scream from the top of his lungs.

Leo’s thumb was pressing into the tender flesh of Phil’s right testicle, digging deep into the core of his manhood, making Phil howl like an injured rhinoceros.

Phil kicked his leg back hard, hitting Leo in the thigh. The second kick found his gut. The third kick hit the motherlode. His heel only grazed Leo’s right nut but it connected with Leo’s left testicle dead-on, ramming the fragile orb into his body.

Leo froze. The vise-like grip around Phil’s nuts loosened and he gasped for air. His right eye squinched shut and his left eye opened wide, the pupil inching towards his nose.

Phil crawled away, catching his breath, his face a mask of pain, while the three-and-a-half phases of total testicular excruciation unfolded in slow motion in Leo’s left eye.

Phase 1: Ready!

There’s a very short moment of calm directly after the testicle has been struck. The brain knows what’s happened and enacts the emergency protocol: The stomach goes into turning position. The eyes tone down the light. The extremities prepare for a quick transformation into the fetal position. The vocal chords search their repertoire for a glorious soprano solo. A quick final inventory of the available sperm at the moment of impact is made. And the memory cells are ordered to save the pictures of the most recent sexual encounter from the short term hard drive to the long term hard drive in case things turn for the worst. 

Phase 2: Steady!

The moment of calm continues. The brain starts wondering: False alarm? Maybe everything is fine! Maybe it was just a---

Phase 3: Go!

Every organ goes into overdrive. The stomach turns at high speed. Bright sparks and eery shadows flash before the eyes. The brain throbs and pulses, just like the struck testicle. Cramps, sickness, beautiful aria – the whole nine yards.

Phase 3 1/2: Shutdown

The pain is so overwhelming that the brain abandons the post and allows the others to take over. It leans back and smokes a cigarette and waits for all of this to blow over.

In this case, with only one testicle affected, the soprano aria was slightly underwhelming, more like a pitiful whimper.

Apparently, Phil thought Leo could do better, because he got up, grimacing and rubbing his own balls, and quickly delivered a hard, powerful kick to Leo’s balls.

This time, his foot found both of Leo’s testicles, and the result was nothing short of spectacular.

Leo’s mouth opened wide and he screamed from the top of his lungs. It was a clear, high-pitched note that was delivered with such heartwarming fervor that it brought tears to my eyes.

Leo’s eyes were watery too, though I suspect it was for a different reason.

For a moment, I thought that this was it, that Phil had won the fight with this glorious, nut-shattering kick.

But I was wrong.

Somehow, Leo managed to throw himself at Phil, his face filled with pain and rage. His knee connected with Phil’s bare balls, squashing them into his body.

Phil let out a miserable groan but before Leo could follow up with another hit to Phil’s crotch, Phil gave Leo a head-butt that made him stumble backwards and reach for his head.

Phil brought his leg back and kicked Leo’s balls once again. His soccer cleats connected with Leo’s already aching nuts, lifting him off the ground and making his eyes bulge as his mouth opened in a silent scream.

A look of utter shock on his face, Leo looked down at his crotch where his rapidly swelling balls were swinging back and forth in their sack.

“My balls”, Leo whispered breathlessly.

Phil ignored him and hit Leo’s juicy plums once more with another deadly kick.

A gagging sound escaped Leo’s lips.

“My balls”, he croaked, staring at his nuts that were starting to turn bright red.

Phil snapped Leo’s balls as hard as he could. His instep smashed into the two meatballs, driving them up in their sack and away from each other, causing them to collide with each other on their way down.

“My baaaaaalls!” Leo groaned miserably. His eyes rolled back into his head and he collapsed on the ground.

Phil looked down at him, a weak grin on his pain-contorted face. “Looks like my penalty kicks are alright”, he said with a shrug.

Leo let out a miserable moan and curled up in a little ball, his hands clutching his swollen and bruised nuts.

Phil looked up and raised his eyebrows. “I think we’re done here.”

“Cut!” I said, chuckling. “That was quick.” I walked up to the boys and looked down at Leo who was writhing on the ground, moaning and groaning in pain.

Phil shrugged. “What can I say, I’m a winner, right?”

I laughed and playfully slapped Phil’s nuts.

He let out a scream as if I had set them on fire before collapsing on the ground next to Leo.

A few minutes later, the two boys were sitting in their chairs again.

I handed each of them a bag of ice.

“Thanks”, Phil mumbled, exhaling slowly as he put the bag on his red, swollen balls.

Leo croaked something unintelligible. His balls were considerably more swollen than Phil’s, and they had the color of ripe tomatoes.

“Remember what I told you?” Leo groaned. “We’ll both be walking funny for a while…”

Phil let out a moan. “Frankly, I don’t think I’ll walk ever again.”

Leo’s chuckle turned into a cough.

When they left the studio a little while later I couldn’t help but laugh.

Both of them were walking gingerly, very slowly, gritting their teeth and pressing their lips together.

“This is not funny”, Phil mumbled.

“It kinda is”, Leo sighed. “Man, you really kicked my nuts in.”

Phil chuckled. “I did, didn’t I?”

“You certainly did”, Leo grinned.

“It was a pleasure”, Phil smiled.

Leo chuckled. “Yeah.”

“We should do this again sometime”, Phil added.

Leo rolled his eyes. “You know, let’s talk about that when my nuts are back to normal size…”

Feel free to add your own suggestions for the "One on one" series to the wish list.