Monkey bar chicken fighters (Cody meets Kev)

Special thanks to Cody for the idea for this story! If you (yes, I mean you, the one who kicked ass on the monkey bars when he was a boy!) would like to meet the Ballbusting Boys and see yourself in a story please read this post for more details.

Featured in this story: Kev (click for pictures)

“Hey, guys, remember that?” Kev chuckled, his words slightly slurred.

The handsome 20 year old was wearing jeans and a shirt. It was a warm summer night, and he was walking home from a party, accompanied by his best friends Ben and Colin.

The three college studs were a little drunk and in a very good mood after scoring dates with three of the hottest girls at the party.

“Damn, I used to be good at that!” Kev grinned, walking straight onto the playground where Cody and his friends were having a series of monkey bar chicken fights.

Cody had just defeated his best friend, and he had a look of beaming pride on his face. He was 18 years old, wiry and thin, with brown hair and blue eyes.

“What’s up?” Cody grinned as he saw the three muscular guys approaching. “Wanna challenge me to a game?”

His friends chuckled. They knew how good Cody was, a monkey bars pro if there ever was one. He was definitely the best in the group, capable of performing some pretty impressive tricks and able to defeat any monkey bar chicken fighter who stood in his way.

Kev laughed. “Sorry, kid, I don’t wanna hurt you.”

“Oooooohh!” Cody’s friends laughed.

“That was a low blow!” one of them quipped.

Cody had a cocky smile on his lips as he looked Kev in the eyes. “You think you could hurt me? You can’t even walk straight…”

Now it was Kev’s friends’ turn to go “Oooooooohh!”

Kev was unfazed. “Have you looked at yourself?” he grinned as he took off his shirt, exposing his muscular chest and making the crowd cheer and wolf-whistle. “Come on, kid, let’s get this over with…”

Cody laughed and clapped his hands. ”Alright, let’s go.”

Their friends laughed and cheered as Cody and Kev got up on either end of the monkey bars, facing each other.

Kev grinned at Cody. His muscular arms were bulging as he held on to the monkey bars. “What are you waiting fo---”

At rapid speed, Cody came towards him and wrapped his legs around Kev’s waist. It took a lot of effort for the muscular hunk to break free from Cody’s grip.

Now it was obvious to everybody that this was going to be an epic fight.

Cody’s friends clapped and cheered, chanting his name, while Kev’s buddies were doing the same for him.

Despite the obvious inferiority regarding size, physique and strength, Cody gained the upper hand with a series of moves that weren’t just effective but also showcased Cody’s skills and his creativity.

All of his skills, his creativity and his monkey bars expertise didn’t help, though, when Kev felt that his arms were starting to hurt and he decided that he wanted to the end the fight quickly.

He brought his foot back and sent it crashing between his skinny young opponent’s legs.

There was a moment of silence that was quickly followed by a collective “Ooooooohhh!” Cody’s friends cringed in sympathy, cupping their own crotches as they watched their friend gasp for breath.

“My balls”, Cody croaked, just barely finding the strength to hang on to the monkey bars.

“Yeah, those were your balls, kid”, Kev quipped with a nasty grin. “And this is your gut.” With that, he sent both of his feet crashing into Cody’s stomach, causing him to lose his grip on the monkey bars and crash down to the ground, instantly curling up in a ball, coughing and moaning.

“Looks like I won”, Kev grinned, jumping down next to Cody. “And”, he added with a chuckle, “it looks like I can indeed hurt you.” He feigned a surprised look. “Who woulda thunk?” He burst out laughing and high-fived his buddies as Cody’s friends surrounded him, patting his back and letting him know how much better he had looked on the monkey bars.

“Damn, that felt good”, Kev grinned. “Don’t you agree, kid?”

He laughed as Cody straightened, cupping his balls, his face contorted in pain.

“Oh man”, Kev chuckled. “You don’t look like a monkey bar chicken fight champion at all, kid. Didn’t anybody tell you that all is fair in love and monkey bar chicken fights?”

Kev and his friends roared with laughter.

“I didn’t know you’d fight dirty”, Cody moaned, rubbing his sore balls.

Kev laughed. “What? You expected be to take the high road? This is monkey bar chicken fights, kid…”

Cody groaned and got up, doubling over and moaning in pain.

“Come on, don’t act like you have you never been hit in the nuts before”, Kev chuckled.

Cody looked up, his eyes filled with pain and embarrassment. “I challenge you to a return game.”

Kev laughed. “Nah, sorry, kid, I’m done for tonight.”

“Tomorrow then”, Cody insisted. “Best of three. No rules.”

Kev looked at him, an amused expression on his face.

“What do you say?” Cody extended his hand.

Instead of taking it, Kev smacked Cody in his sore nuts with the back of his hand, causing him to double over again and let out an anguished grunt as a fresh new wave of pain washed through his body.

“Alright, kid”, Kev grinned, turning around and leaving the playground with his chuckling friends. “See you tomorrow.”

The next day, Cody and his friends were waiting at the monkey bars. It was going to be an epic fight, a monkey bars chicken fight for the ages.

Several of his buddies had given Cody some advice on how to approach his muscular, strong opponent, some of them lying out strategies and techniques, others urging Cody to backtrack and demand a “no low blows” rule.

But Cody’s mind was made up. “I’m going to go for the nuts, plain and simple”, he had told his friends. “I’m going to kick him so hard that his kids will come out cross-eyed.”

When one of Cody’s friends tried to make the case for civility and fairness, he was quickly silenced when he was grabbed and pole-racked, ramming his nuts into his body. Afterwards, when he had recovered from the nut-crunching punishment, he talked a lot more sensible – and in a considerably higher voice.

Cody looked at his watch. He half-expected Kev to not show up. After all, he had been pretty drunk the night before.

But Kev showed up, bringing his friends for moral support – not that he seemed to need it.

He was brash and confident and loud, and just as cocky as he had been the night before.

“There you are, kid”, Kev grinned, patting the skinny young man on the shoulder. “Ready to get your ass kicked?”

Cody chuckled. “Maybe you’ll try to kick my ass – but I’ll go straight for your nuts.”

Kev raised his eyebrows. “What? Dirty tricks? Coming from you?”

Cody shrugged his shoulders. “Well, you started it.”

Kev scratched his head, pretending to just vaguely remember the devastating blow to the crown jewels that he had used to end last night’s fight. “Right, right, yeah, sorry about that.” He chuckled. “Everything working fine down there?” He playfully reached for Cody’s crotch, causing the wiry 18 year old to turn away to avoid some painful hand-to-sack contact. “Did you check the pipes this morning?” Kev grinned, underlining his crude masturbation reference with an obscene gesture.

Cody blushed. “Everything’s fine, thanks for asking”, he said, trying to sound glib and confident.

“So you did make the little monkey spit”, Kev chuckled. “Good for you, kid, because I just might destroy those little coconuts of yours today.” He stretched his arms and wiggled his fingers. “Yeah, I might.” He jabbed the air a few times. “I feel like a winner today.” He smiled at Cody. “Best of three, no rules. Right?”

“Right”, Cody nodded. “Let’s go.”

They got up, grabbing the bars and looking at each other.

The crowd was cheering and chanting, rooting for their favorites, turning the monkey bars into a bona fide tournament location.

Just like the day before, Cody showed off a few tricks on the monkey bars, swinging back and forth and hanging from the bars in a lot of cool ways, demonstration a lot of impressive moves like the One-Handed Monkey Grab, the Three Finger Sag and the Thumbs-Only Thunderbolt Swing.

Kev watched him patiently, an amused expression on his face. It was obvious that he was just waiting for the opportunity to cut Cody’s impressive monkey bars performance short with a brutal low blow.

But Cody beat him to it, and he did it with class and style.

At the end of the Thumbs-Only Thunderbolt Swing, just before transitioning into the Premium Pendulum, Cody’s foot flew out, as if by accident, and nailed Kev square in the nuts.

For a moment it looked like Kev was going to let go of the bars, ending the first round in utter disgrace, but he managed to hang on, grunting and groaning as Cody completed the Premium Pendulum with a huge smirk on his face.
Cody’s friends cheered and clapped, and Cody celebrated by showing off his skills some more.

Unfortunately, Kev was quick to recover, and he ended Cody’s celebrations rather brutally with a hard kick to the nuts that made his friends’ “Whoohooooh!” turn into a sympathetic “Ughghghghgh!” as they doubled over in sympathy.

Cody grimaced in agony, and kicked at Kev’s midsection, narrowly missing his nuts and hitting him in the thigh instead.

Kev replied with a kick to Cody’s shin.

They went back and forth, trading kicks that mostly hit the legs, and occasionally the gut. But they weren’t critical hits, and it was a fairly even fight.

The crowd was cheering and yelling and the voice of Kev’s buddies and Cody’s friends mixed in a wild cacophony of voices.

“That was a good one! I bet he felt that!”

“Come on, Cody!”

“You can do it!”

“Destroy that kid!”

“Kick him in the nuts! Kick him in the fucking nuts!”

“Think of the crossed-eyed kids!”

A split-second after one of Cody’s friends invoked the Kev’s visually challenged potential offspring, Cody’s foot connected with Kev’s plump package. It was a perfect hit, a sensational connection, dead on target, right in the meat and two veg – and it was the vegetables that bore the brunt of the blow.

Kev’s buddies went silent and Cody’s friends cheered and clapped as Kev’s cheeks puffed and his eyes bulged and he dropped from the monkey bars like dead weight before curling up in a little ball, clutching his crotch and moaning in pain.

Cody had won the first round.

A few minutes later, after Kev’s balls had sufficiently recovered and the muscles in both guys’ arms weren’t hurting anymore, they were ready to continue.

This time, Kev didn’t wait for Cody to make the first move. He attacked him with blunt and brutal force, aiming a barrage of kicks at Cody’s legs, his stomach, and – first and foremost – his nuts.

Cody replied in kind, wildly kicking and stomping at Kev.

The crowd looked on, mesmerized, as the two opponents attacked each other. It was a blur. Foot to nuts. Knee to gut. Shin to shin. Foot to gut. Shin to foot. Shin to nuts. Knee to calf. Foot to thigh. Knee to thigh. Foot to nuts. Shin to thigh. And on and on and on.

It was an endless series of attacks and counter-attacks, uncoordinated, wild and brutal.

Both Cody and Kev were grunting and groaning, barking and howling, letting out wails and moans as they fought each other.

Finally, with a hard, merciless kick to the crotch, Kev caused Cody to let go of the bars and collapse on the ground.

Now it was Kev’s buddies’ turn to cheer, and Cody’s friends surrounded their battered buddy who was writhing on the ground, clutching his lowhangers and moaning in pain.

The recovery took a little longer this time, and when Kev and Cody were hanging from the monkey bars again, their faces spoke volumes: They were both in pain, and they were determined to win.

They kicked off round three with simultaneous kicks to the crotch. It was obvious that they both knew that the path to winning went through their opponent’s testicles, and neither of them had any qualms about putting their opponent’s love life on hold for a while.

Kev’s foot connected with Cody’s balls just as Cody’s foot connected with Kev’s balls.

And that was just the beginning.

Again and again they kicked each other in the nuts, egged on by the crowd.

“Fuck yeah! Right in the fucking nutsack!”

“Ouch! That had to hurt!”

“Kill his fucking kids!”

“Crush those nuts!”

“Cody! Cody! Cody! Cody!”

“Kev! Kev! Kev!”

The two opponents grunts and grows, their screams and wails mixed with the crowd’s cheers, yells and chants.

Again and again, testicles were crunched by fierce, mean kicks. Again and again, anguished screams made the guys in the audience shiver and cringe. Again and again, Kev and Cody went for the balls, hard, relentless, merciless.

Their legs had to be black and blue, covered in bruised, by now, and their balls had to be swollen to the size of cantaloupes, and yet they went on and on and on.

Muscular Kev landed the more powerful ball bashing kicks, but wiry Cody’s agility enabled him to deliver his kicks more precisely and on target.

“Fuck, my nut!” Kev groaned after a particularly nasty kick from Cody that hit his left nut dead-on, crushing it flat. He gasped for breath, and before he could retaliate, Cody had delivered another kick, this time targeting Kev’s fat right nut. “Oh fuck!”

“Cody! Cody! Cody! Cody!”

“Kev! Kev! Kev!”

“Oh god!” Cody gurgled when Kev’s foot found his crotch, flattening his package and ramming both of his tender young nuts into his body. “Oh my fucking god!”

In the end, it was a matter of physics: Kev’s body was way more muscular than Cody’s wiry frame, and while that meant that Kev’s arm muscles were stronger than Cody’s, it also meant that he had to support more weight – and when that final, nut-crunching kick found Kev’s balls, he knew that it was too much.

He tumbled to the ground, screaming in pain and cradling his aching testicles.

Cody was in pain as well – but he had just won against a far larger opponent, and he celebrated his victory by climbing on top of the monkey bars and raising his fists into the air, shaking them at the sky, his face filled with joy. “Yeaahhhhhh!”

Then he slipped and landed crotch-first on one of the bars.

“Ooooooooooh!” went the crowd.

Cody, his feet dangling mid-air, his nuts crushed flat between the bar and his body, blinked as his face turned pale. His mouth opened and gasped for breath. “My nuts!” he whispered in a toneless voice, his eyes filled with shock and pain.

“Damn, look out for a lot of cross-eyed kids in the future”, one of Cody’s friends quipped, and everybody burst out laughing.