Saturday, May 17, 2008

The Ballbusting Olympics: Danny's interviews 5

Featured in this story: DannyParkerPhil and the twins (click for pictures)

Two days ago we had our final day of competition in the Ballbusting Olympics with an eye-watering Punch Ball contest. AJ received the gold medal for the frat guys, bringing his personal overall tally as well as his team’s to two medals. Kev got the silver medal for the jocks, Parker came in third place for the gymnasts, and Leo, competing for the skaters, went home empty handed. While AJ and his team-mates Zach and Reese were celebrating AJ’s victory with the audience, Danny, our strawberry-blond actor-turned-commentator, went backstage and talked to some of the participants.

***

Danny is standing in the locker rooms. Standing next to him is Parker. The limber indie boy with the flaing red hair is looking at the camera, a weak grin on his handsome face.

“Hi there, I’m Danny reporting from the Ballbusting Olympics”, Danny smiles into the camera.

“Here with me is Parker. Hi, Parker.”

“Hi, Danny.” Parker is stark naked, his right hand fondling his slightly red ballsack, his left hand unconsciously caressing his naked chest.

”First of all – congratulations for your bronze medal today. It is your second medal after you received gold in Roshambo.”

“That’s right.”

“How do you feel?”

Parker grimaces. “Well, I’m happy, obviously.”

“You don’t look too happy to me”, Danny grins.

Parker chuckles and shrugs. “You know how it is.”

The camera zooms in on Parker’s hand fumbling with his reddened testicles.

“My nuts took a serious beating – but I’m getting used to it”, Parker says.



The camera zooms out again.

Now Parker’s team mates, blond twin brothers Will and Michael, are standing next to him. They are wearing tight white briefs that highlight their bulging equipment.

“Will and Michael have joined us”, Danny says and turns to Will. “Are you satisfied with your team mate’s performance?”

“Of course we are”, Will smiles. “Parker is a top athlete and a good friend, and we are very happy! His nuts are top quality, no doubt, and he has what it takes to be in this sport for the next years…”

Parker winces at the thought. “Well, I don’t know---“

Will lands a playful backhand slap against Parker’s sore balls and Parker doubles over.

“I think I need a break”, Parker moans.

Will, Michael and Danny chuckle.

Will grins at Danny. “Should we give him a break?”

Danny smiles and shrugs.

Will walks behind Parker and grins. He takes a step back and kick’s Parker’s naked balls hard from behind. His bare foot slams into Parker’s crotch, hitting his hands and driving them into his agonized testicles.

Parker shrieks and collapses on the floor.

“What was that for?” Parker whimpers.

“Friendship”, Will grins.

“Well”, Danny chuckles, “seems like everything is good und fine here at the gymnasts. Thanks!”

“You’re welcome”, Michael and Will say in unison.

Parker groans.

Cut.

Now Danny is standing in front of a large screen with the topical yet lewd Ballbusting Olympics logo on it. Standing next to him is young Englishman Phil in his umpire’s uniform, wearing black shorts and a tight black t-shirt.

“For those of you who haven’t noticed already”, Danny smiles into the camera. “This is Phil, up-and-coming soccer star. He currently is the best-paid new soccer player, and we’re very happy that he made it possible to act as our umpire for the last five weeks. Hi, Phil.”

“Hi, Danny”, Phil smiles.

“Did you enjoy the competition?”

“Yeah, I did! There were some pretty exciting matches, and it was a pleasure to be the umpire.”

“So, when will we see you again?”

“Well, as a matter of fact, I will be the one to hand out the penalty shots next week.”

“Of course you do. So you will take a more active role then?”

Phil grins. “Yeah.”

“And I suppose the penalties will be kicks?”

Phil nods. “Kicking balls is my talent, and I have every intention to use it.”

“Great”, Danny smiles and turns to the camera. “So that’s---“

“Do you want to see a little demonstration?” Phil grins.

Danny raises his eyebrows. “I think I remember the last time you asked me that. A few seconds later I was rolling on the ground holding my nuts…”

Phil laughs. “Oh, I forgot… Care to do it again?”

Danny stares at Phil. “No.”

“Okay”, Phil shrugs and walks out of the frame.

Danny collects himself and turns to face the camera again. “Okay, ladies and gentleman, this was the last couple of interviews I did. Tune in for the Awards Ceremony next week, and maybe we will be back with the Ballbusting Olympics next year. I’m---“

Suddenly Phil rushes by, running up to Danny, kicking him in the nuts hard with his sneaker-clad foot, and running out of the frame again.

Danny looks like a train has hit him.

Slowly, he grabs his aching balls with his right hand while his left hand is holding the microphone. His eyes twitch and his lips tremble and he lets out a long, wheezing groan.

“I’m… Danny… Thank you… for… watching…”

Danny falls to his knees and moans in pain.

Fade out.

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