Friday, May 22, 2015

An honest mistake (Brian meets Logan)

Special thanks to our reader Brian! If you (yes, I mean you, the one who thinks this blog is weird – but also kinda hot!) would like to meet the Ballbusting Boys and see yourself in a story please read this post for more details.

Warning: Can contain traces of cum.

Featured in this story: Logan (click for pictures)

Brian entered the cafeteria at Bartlett High and adjusted his glasses. He spotted his friends and walked over to them. Like always, the 18 year old was wearing tight jeans that showed off the impressive bulge in his crotch. It wasn’t like he was showing off his assets like some of the jocks at school who took pictures of their dicks and shared them with their friends. But – having seen most of these pictures – Brian knew that he was bigger than most of those guys. Bigger balls and a bigger dick. Not huge. But big. That knowledge gave him a lot of confidence.

Not that he needed much more of that. He was confident alright. He had a nice body, lanky but muscular, a full head of light brown hair, and a handsome face. “You’re cute”, was what the girls in his class would say. In the end, they preferred the guys on the football team, of course, but at least he was “cute”…

Brian passed a couple of guys from the football team who were busy sacktapping each other, laughing riotously while going after each other’s nuts.

“Ow, you got me in the nutsack!” one of the football players yelled before collapsing on the ground, holding his crotch.

His buddies clapped and cheered.

Brian rolled his eyes and made sure to cover his crotch when he walked past the fallen stud. Those guys liked to get innocent bystanders “involved” in their games. Brian had suffered the odd nutshot now and then, and he hated it. His balls were big and pretty sensitive. No need to leave himself open for an attack.

But the football players didn’t pay attention to him. They were busy ruining each other’s chances at having children.

Brian arrived at the table unharmed.

“Hey there”, he said and sat down next to CJ.

“What’s up?” CJ said.

“The sun, the clouds, the big blue sky, the stars – even if you don’t see them”, Brian said casually. “The---“

The other guys at the table laughed.

“Very funny”, CJ mumbled.

“Oh, I’m sorry for answering your question”, Brian shrugged.

“Yeah, alright”, CJ muttered and got up. “See you in class.”

He walked away.

Brian raised his eyebrows.

Logan chuckled. “He’s annoyed.”

Brian looked at him.

“By you”, Logan added.

“Me?” Brian said. “Me? Little me? What did I do?”

Logan chuckled.

Brian’s sharp and often sarcastic humor was legendary among his class mates. He was a nice guy, and most of the guys and girls in his class liked him. But his humor wasn’t everybody’s taste.

Logan liked to hang out with Brian because he was funny. Logan got Brian’s humor. But sometimes, even Logan was annoyed by Brian’s remarks.

After school, Logan was standing in the parking lot, staring at his phone. The 18 year old high school wrestler had just reconciled with his girlfriend Ashley. She had cheated on him with a guy from another school, an obnoxious bastard who had humiliated and embarrassed Logan. Now everything was okay again, and Logan and Ashley were back together. The perfect couple. The prince and the princess.

Logan was staring at the phone. A text from Ashley. Four words. “We have to talk.” Logan inhaled deeply and ran his hand through his short blond hair. This couldn’t be good. He closed his eyes.

“Bad news?” Brian’s voice startled Logan.

Logan opened his eyes and stared at the tall boy. “I don’t know.”

Brian looked at Logan. One of two possibilities, he thought. His parents or his girlfriend. He decided to go with the girlfriend and said casually, “She’s fucking someone else.”

Logan’s jaw dropped. “What?!”

Brian had to suppress a grin. He loved pulling Logan’s leg. “That’s what girls do”, he added.

Logan’s eyes narrowed. “But how--- Who?!”

Brian looked at Logan. “Who do you think?” He smiled. “The most handsome, most attractive guy at school. Or the one with the biggest dick.” He turned around and walked over to his car. “See you on Monday.”

To Brian, it was just a joke. An offhand remark. Maybe not his best line. He instantly forgot about it.

But Logan’s mind was racing. He watched Brian get into his car and leave. Was Ashley cheating on him again? He banged his fist onto the top of his car. Not again!

Logan’s phone rang. Ashley. Logan ignored it.

Was she back together with that obnoxious--- No. Brian had talked about a guy at their school. Bartlett High. But how did he know? Did everybody know except for him?! And who---

Logan inhaled sharply.

Brian’s words rang in his head. The one with the biggest dick.


Logan had seen Brian in the locker room. His dick was above average for sure. There were a couple of guys who were bigger than him, though, Logan included. But it figured that Brian would think of him as the guy with the biggest dick.


That would explain everything.

Logan closed his eyes. His couldn’t think straight. Ashley and Brian. Fuck!

He tried to calm down.

He had to do something.

Right now.

He looked at his phone and dialed Brian’s number.

That evening, the two guys met again in the gym.

Brian had been surprised to get a phone call from Logan. They weren’t best friends. They had never met outside school. But he liked Logan. He trusted him. There was no reason for him to expect anything bad. Little did he know what Logan was planning…

“I got a surprise for you”, Logan said with a friendly smile. He handed Brian a blindfold.

Brian raised his eyebrows. “A surprise? For me?” He chuckled. “I hope this isn’t one of those surprises where I end up in Mexico with one of my kidneys missing…”

Logan let out a laugh. Surprisingly, it didn’t come out as forced as it was. “You’re funny”, Logan said. It’s not your kidney that I’m after, he thought.

Brian took off his glasses and put on the blindfold. “I love surprises”, he said with a smile.

“Yeah, me too”, Logan said slowly and stood in front of Brian. “But some surprises are better than others.”

There was a brief moment of silence.

“What do you mean?” Brian said.

Instead of an answer, Brian got a vicious, hard kick in the nuts. Logan’s sneaker-clad foot connected perfectly with the big bulge in Brian’s jeans. The tip of his foot sank into the soft mound and crunched his nuts hard, squashing them into his body.

The dull thud of Logan’s foot connecting with Brian’s manhood echoed through the gym.

Brian was completely caught off guard. He let out a cough, followed by a long, guttural groan.

Before he had a chance to double over and cover himself, Logan followed up with another hard kick to Brian’s nuts, eliciting an anguished wail.

“You think you can fuck my girlfriend and rub my nose in it?” Logan yelled.

“What?!” Brian croaked, clutching his battered balls and sinking to his knees. “What the fuck are you talking about?!”

“You know what I’m talking about”, Logan growled. He pushed Brian’s shoulder, making him fall on his back.

Brian let out a yelp. The blindfold had slipped down a bit, still covering Brian’s right eye but allowing him to see Logan with his left eye.

Logan grabbed Brian’s right foot and pulled off his shoe before doing the same with his left foot.

“What are you doing?” Brian groaned.

“Shut up”, Logan mumbled and stomped down on Brian’s groin, making Brian scream in pain.

Logan unbuckled Brian’s belt and pulled his jeans off him, revealing Brian’s orange AE boxers that were bulging with Brian’s impressive equipment.

Logan grabbed Brian’s feet and spread them apart, lifting his foot and letting it hover over Brian’s groin.

“No”, Brian croaked. “Please, don’t---“

Logan stomped down hard, crunching Brian’s nuts under the sole of his sneakers and eliciting an ear-piercing squeal. He continued gas-pedaling Brian’s balls, squishing and squashing his balls without mercy, making Brian scream from the top of his lungs.

“You’ll never fuck Ashley again”, Logan grunted. “I’ll make sure of that.” He stomped down hard, crushing Brian’s nuts and flattening them like pancakes.

Brian screamed in pain. “But I---“

“I said, shut up!” Logan bellowed, letting go of Brian’s feet and grabbing Brian’s hair.

He pulled Brian up by his hair and yanked down the blindfold.

“Listen to me”, Logan whispered, his face inches from Brian’s.

Brian’s eyes were filled with fear.

“Stay away from Ashley”, Logan continued in a low voice. “Or I swear I’ll kick your nuts so hard that you’ll be spitting sperm!”

Brian’s eyes widened. “But I---“

“Shut up!” Logan grunted and rammed his knee into Brian’s nuts, crushing them between his bony kneecap and Brian’s own pelvis.

Brian let out a strangled groan.

Again and again Logan kneed Brian’s balls, grunting with rage as he all but pulverized Brian’s precious jewels.

Brian was wailing in pain, groaning and moaning every time Logan’s knee connected with his nuts.

Finally, Logan allowed Brian to collapse on the ground. Brian was covering his face with one hand and cupping his aching balls with the other hand.

Logan watched him. “I hope you learned your lesson”, he mumbled. “If you come near Ashley or me again I swear I’ll beat your balls to pulp!”

Brian lifted his face and looked at Logan, his face contorted in pain. “What the fuck are you talking about?” he whispered slowly. His facial expression changed slowly. Pain turned into anger, anger turned into rage. “What the fuck are you talking about?!” he repeated, screaming.

Brian got up, groaning and cupping his balls.

“Don’t play dumb with me”, Logan said. “’The guy with the biggest dick’?!”

“Fuck you!” Brian yelled. “I was joking, alright?”

Logan looked at him, slowly shaking his head. “I’d say that too if I were you.”

“I was joking!” Brian repeated and lunged at Logan, throwing a punch at his face.

But Brian was no match for the experienced wrestling champion.

Logan ducked and got down on one knee, causing Brian’s fist to swoosh through the air.

Logan’s hand sneaked up the leg opening of Brian’s boxers and quickly found his big, low-hanging balls.

Brian’s eyes widened in terror.

Logan wrapped his fingers tightly around Brian’s precious nuts and squeezed as hard as he could, twisting and kneading Brian’s ball, making him scream in pain.

There was an unmistakable stirring inside Brian’s boxers that didn’t go unnoticed by Logan.

Logan stared at the big erection that was tenting Brian’s underwear.

“Now, what do we have here?” Logan mumbled.

Brian looked down, a mixture of pain, embarrassment and fear on his face.

“You fuck my girlfriend and now you’re hot for me?” Logan said slowly.

Brian’s pain-contorted face turned crimson in embarrassment. “No, you’re---”

Logan twisted Brian’s balls sharply, stopping him mid-sentence and eliciting a pained scream.

Logan dug his fingertips into the tender flesh of Brian’s testicles and squeezed hard.

Brian threw his head back in agony, his face a mask of pain.

Brian’s dick twitched inside his boxers, and a little damp spot appeared where his precum soaked the flimsy fabric of his underwear.

Brian looked down in horror. “No”, he whispered, grimacing.

Logan continued squeezing his balls with all the force he could muster.

Brian’s body convulsed and he leaned onto Logan’s shoulder for support.

“No”, he repeated hoarsely.

Inside his boxers, Brian’s dick started twitching violently while Logan gave his balls a rough, merciless going-over.

“No!” Brian’s toneless voice turned into a pitiful sob.

Logan squished and squashed his full, fat babymakers, ruthlessly kneading the two tender orbs, squeezing the life out of them and making Brian moan and pant heavily.

Brian’s fingertips dug into Logan’s shoulder as he leaned on him while his nuts were getting mangled by the hot blond wrestler.

“Oh, please, no!” Brian pleaded, his eyes filling with tears.

Suddenly, his dick shot a huge blast of sperm inside his boxers, splattering them from the inside. Jet after jet of cum erupted inside his boxers, slowly soaking the fabric and running down his thigh.

Brian broke into tears, holding on to Logan for support, as his violent orgasm rocked his body, and his forcefully extracted cum ran down his leg.

Logan withdrew his hand from Brian’s boxers. It was sticky and coated in Brian’s sperm. With a disgusted grunt, Logan wiped his hand on Brian’s boxers.

Brian’s dick continued releasing his precious load, flooding his boxers with his cum. Tears were running down Brian’s face while cum was running down his leg. Finally, he collapsed on the ground, one hand cupping his groin while the other hand was covering his face.

Logan slowly got up and watched him. “That’ll teach you”, he mumbled. “Stay away from my girl.”

Brian was crying in pain and humiliation.

Logan looked at him. He felt a tang of pity for him, lying there on the ground, cum running down his leg, his balls thoroughly busted, his ego broken. Then Logan thought about Ashley, and the pity gave way to anger. “Serves you right”, he yelled at Brian.

Brian just curled up in a ball, sobbing and crying.

Logan’s phone rang. Ashley. Logan thought for a moment and inhaled deeply. He picked up and walked outside.

Brian got up and looked at his crotch. His boxers were soaked in his sperm. He lifted the waistband to examine his balls. At the sight of his swollen, bruised testicles, his eyes filled with tears again.

He curled up in a ball again and closed his eyes, weeping bitterly.

When he opened his eyes again, Logan was standing in front of him.

Brian looked up at him. “Please let me go”, he sobbed. “Please!”

Logan cleared his throat. “I’m sorry”, he said in a toneless voice. “I---“ He sighed. “There has been a misunderstanding.”

Brian stared at him.

“I---“ Logan scratched his head. “I’m really sorry.”

“I didn’t sleep with her”, Brian whispered.

“I know”, Logan said, looking mortified. “I know now.” He scratched his head again. “I’m incredibly sorry. I--- I don’t know what got into me.”

He helped Brian get up.

Brian grimaced in pain, gingerly cupping his crotch.

Logan grimaced in sympathy. “Man, I--- I’m so sorry.”

Brian looked at him. “You know, you could have least brought me flowers first”, he said slowly.

Logan grinned weakly. Then he turned serious. “I am so sorry. Let me make it up to you.”

Brian raised his eyebrows. “And how are you going to do that? Wipe up my cum and shove it back into my balls? Cut my nuts off so they don't hurt anymore?”

Logan grimaced. “I know, I'm so fucking sorry... But there's gotta be a way to--- Give me a moment. I will…” Logan’s voice trailed off. Then his face lit up. “I’ll let you work over my balls.” He quickly unbuckled his belt and dropped his jeans and his boxer briefs, exposing his fat plums and his big, limp dick. “Do whatever you want with them. Kick them, stomp them, I don’t care. Squeeze the cum out of them if you like.” He looked at Brian almost pleadingly. “Come on, this is prime stuff.”

Brian looked at him, a sad smile on his face. “Sorry, I’m not into that.”

Logan sighed. He bit his lower lip. “There must be something I can do to make it up to you.” He raised his eyebrows. “Do you want to fuck my ass? It’s nice and tight. Well, at least I think it is, I’ve never let anyone fuck my ass before, so---”

Brian shook his head. “No, thanks.”

“What about my dick? You want to suck my dick?” Logan offered, sounding almost desperate. “I’ll let you suck my dick.”

Brian looked at him.

“Once a week”, Logan added quickly. “I’ll let you suck it once a week.”

Brian’s eyes wandered down to Logan’s juicy cock that was slowly fattening and getting hard.

“I’ll make sure to save my load up for you”, Logan continued. “You’ll have something to look forward to every week...” He looked at Brian expectantly.

Brian licked his lips.

Thursday, May 21, 2015

Video links: Boys just wanna have fun (3) - Nutball Edition

Johnny Knoxville and his Jackass crew are responsible for some of the most outrageous and daring TV stunts of the 21st century - and one of their greatest achievements may be the introduction of an exciting little game called Nutball to a wider public. It's a simple game, and it has probably been around for ages (I can literally picture two adolescent cavemen hurling rocks at each others' gonads), but when the game was featured in the second season of the Jackass TV series, it reached new heights of popularity and brought a tidal wave of young, talented filmmakers who captured the destruction of their testicles on video and uploaded it to YouTube.

Here are a couple of my favorites.

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

From stud to dud: JUNK-A-BRO-LOOZA! (part 3)

Very special thanks to Chadfan! We co-wrote this story and had a great time exchanging emails and tossing ideas back and forth. This story is a bit different from the rest of my work, and I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

Previously on “From stud to dud”:
JUNK-A-BRO-LOOZA! (part 2)

Title credit: I read the phrase "From stud to dud" first in pooiu's 2010 f/m story Busting League: Day 1. Check out his excellent story blog Busted Spuds.

Warning: Can contain traces of cum.

“There’s one contestant left!” The Bush shouted. “And he’s in it to win it! Put your hands together for our last little cock - Hamster Dick!”

“FUCK YEAH!” Rocco roared, as the crowd broke into fits of laughter and clapping. He craned his head, scanning the audience from the chair he was strapped to. Where were Bucky and Shawn?

“Sounds like someone’s excited!” The Bush chuckled. “Hamster Dick, you’ve made it to the final round - proving you’ve got the nuts, and the mental capacity, to be on this stage.” He tilted the mic toward Rocco. “Tell the audience what it’s like to have the BIGGEST NUTS IN THE ROOM!”

Rocco cracked an inebriated grin. “It’s hard to walk, Mr. Bush.”

“I bet it is!” The Bush shook his head. “Hamster Dick - do you have some big hairy NUTS?!?”

“Fuck yes!” Rocco yelled.

“THEN SHOUT IT LIKE YOU’VE GOT A PAIR!” The Bush yelled into Rocco’s face.

“FUCK YES - I’VE GOT SOME BIG HAIRY NUTS!” Rocco roared, causing the audience to break into wild cheers.

“ALRIGHT!” The Bush shouted, stepping to the front of the stage. “Here are the rules, folks! We have three rounds. Three Questions per round. Every time a question is answered incorrectly, Hamster Dick gets a hammer to his BIG TOUGH NUTS!”

“WOOOOO!” Rocco shouted.

“If he makes it through the game without giving up OR getting his nuts popped, then he gets the BIG MONEY!” The Bush yelled as the sound of tumbling coins rumbled from the PA system. “But“, The Bush grinned, “if someone else pops his nuts, before Rocco gives up, then that person gets the money. How’s that for an incentive, huh?”

The audience clapped and cheered.

“If the bell rings, the person swinging the hammer gets to go again“, The Bush continued. “If the bell doesn’t ring, the guy swinging the hammer gets replaced - and you can count on us to make it painful...” He chuckled as the room filled with the cheers and laughter of the crowd. “So who wants to be the first guy to take a crack at Hamster Dick’s NUTS?!?!”

Hundreds of hands rose into the air as almost everyone in the audience wanted to take a shot at Rocco’s balls.

“Ahhh!” The Bush laughed as he spotted a familiar face. “Jack The Jackhammer- let’s see if you can live up to your name!”

Jack climbed onto the stage, accompanied by the frenetic applause of the crowd.

“How are you?” The Bush grinned before playfully smacking Jack in the balls with the back of his hand. “And how are your nuts?”

Jack let out a surprised grunt and doubled over.

The Bush raised his eyebrows. “Still tender, huh? Sorry, sometimes I don’t know my own strength.” He turned to the audience. “I may have a little dick, but these guns are cocked!” He chuckled, showing off his biceps, before turning around to look at Rocco. “Hamster Dick, are you ready to take a hammer to the sack?”

Rocco grinned. “Mr. Bush, it better be a big hammer!”

The Bush gestured to an approaching stagehand. “You tell me!”

Jack was handed a large, heavy hammer, and the scruffy slacker grunted at the weight. It was ridiculously huge, with a big wooden head, emblazoned with the NutJuice logo in bright red lettering.

Rocco stared at the hammer, his eyes wide, then looked back down to his nuts, and cleared his throat. “Sure, that’s big enough.” He chuckled weakly.

The Bush smacked Rocco on the back. “Just remember, the rules are easy. You give up - no one gets the cash. You make it through nine questions with your nuts intact - you get the money.” The Bush crossed his arms. “But... if your nuts pop - then the guy with the hammer gets the money.” The Bush nodded to Jack.

The scruffy slacker nodded back, and tightened his grip on the massive hammer.

“So, question number one!” The Bush rolled his shoulders, reading from a card in his hand. “Let’s talk about cock. Hamster Dick, what’s the most common nickname guys have for their penis?”

Rocco snorted. “What? How am I supposed to know?” Rocco laughed. “I mean... like, in the showers at the gym, guys don’t just talk about... well, actually, they do... I dunno - maybe…” He shrugged. “Dick?”

The Bush smiled at Rocco. “Well, Hamster Dick… Let’s see… Is that the right answer?”

The sound of a buzzer droned from the PA.


“Oooooohhh“, The Bush cringed in mock-sympathy. “Wrong answer, Hamster Dick.”

“That was a hard one...” Rocco laughed nervously, as Jack stepped forward with the hammer.

“I got an even harder one“, Jack grinned, and motioned to his tented shorts. The scruffy slacker raised the hammer above his head with a grunt, and slammed it down onto the bullseye, squashing Rocco’s nuts flat underneath.


“FUCK!” Rocco let out an anguished grunt as his nuts were crunched. At the same time, the puck shot up the tower and slammed into the bell.


The crowd went wild.

“Good job, Jackhammer!” The Bush chuckled.

“Thanks“, Jack grinned, clutching his hard dick through his shorts.

Rocco’s face was contorted in pain and he was panting heavily. His rock hard dick twitched violently above his smashed nuts. They felt like they were on fire. Amazingly, they were still intact.

“How’re those big tough nuts doing Hamster Dick?” The Bush grinned and held the mic in front of Rocco’s face.

“I... ugh... oh god... fine... Fine, Mr. Bush“, Rocco wheezed.

The Bush chuckled and pointed at Rocco’s nuts. “Well, your nuts don’t look so fine to me… You better get the next question right or the contents of your sack might splatter all over the stage. And we don’t want that... Or do we?” He turned to the audience. “What do you say, folks?”

The room was filled with cheers and yells.

“Uh-oh, Hamster Dick“, The Bush grimaced in mock-sympathy. “Looks like they want to see balls pop. How’s that make you feel?”

Rocco gritted it his teeth. “Not... great.”

The Bush patted Rocco’s shoulder. “Are you gonna show them who has the BIGGEST NUTS IN THE ROOM?!?!”

Rocco shook his head, trying to clear it. “Yes.”

“YES WHAT!?!” The Bush shouted, and gave Rocco’s nuts a little tap.


The audience broke into a loud roar, stomping their feet.

Rocco blinked, and smiled weakly.

The Bush chuckled. “We’ll see.” The Bush looked at his card. “Next question. If I wanted to ‘dock’ my dick with you, Hamster Dick, one of us would need something neither of us has. What is it?”

Rocco stared at him.

The Bush waited for a moment. “It’s something neither of us has... So we could ‘dock’ our dicks...” He flipped up his kilt, and flashed Rocco his little circumcised cock.

Rocco shrugged. “Um... scissors?”

“What?” The Bush blinked.


“Wrong answer again“, The Bush shrugged and threw the card into the audience. “Hammer away, Jackhammer!”

Once again, Jack rose the hammer above his head, grunting with effort, before slamming it down onto the bullseye and flattening Rocco’s balls like a pancake.



Rocco let out an agonized groan as his already traumatized testicles were squashed by the hammer.

“Oooooh!” The Bush laughed. “Let’s see that again in slow motion.”

Everybody looked at the screens were the flattening of Rocco’s nuts played out again at an agonizingly slow speed. It almost looked as if they were about to burst out of Rocco’s sack. When the hammer rose again, they stayed flat for a moment, until they hesitantly bobbed back into shape.

“Look at his little dick“, Jack laughed, pointing at the screen were a blotch of jizz splattered out of Rocco’s cock, as if it had been forced out of his balls.

The audience roared with laughter.

“Maybe his nuts aren’t so tough after all“, Jack grinned.

The Bush chuckled. “Yeah, maybe they aren’t - but how are YOU doing, Jackhammer? You look a little out of breath...”

Jack wiped his forehead and grinned weakly. “Don’t worry about me, man.”

“Alright! How about you, Hamster Dick? How are those big hairy nuts? They weren’t smashed into little wimp nut pieces, right?”

Rocco grimaced, looking at his big sore nuts. “No...”

The Bush chuckled. “Alright, let’s move on to the next question. There’s a common saying about dicks, and it goes like this, ‘Size…’”

A grin spread on Rocco’s face. “Oh, that’s easy. Twelve and a half inches!”

The Bush tossed his card to the floor. “You--- What?! No, the question is---”


“Whatever”, The Bush rolled his eyes as the crowd broke into riotous laughter. “Slam ‘em, Jackhammer!”

Jack raised the hammer above his head. He was struggling to hold it steady as beads of sweat ran down his face. He sent it down onto the bullseye but his aim was a little off, and the hammer struck left of the bullseye, smashing Rocco’s right nut flat.


Rocco gagged.

Jack looked up at the tower. The puck didn’t reach the bell.

No ding.

The Bush held his hand to his ear. “Did you hear that?”

Jack laughed nervously.

“That’s the sound of your NUTS getting SMASHED, Jack!” The Bush yelled.

The audience went wild.

“We need a new volunteer!” The Bush raised his arms. “We---”

Before he could go on, Shawn stormed onto the stage, bare naked, his huge schlong smacking against his thighs.

“Long Shawn Silver!” The Bush chuckled. “Welcome back!”

Shawn grabbed the mic and yelled, “Seems like guys with big dicks got no stamina!”

Jack stared at him.

Shawn frowned. “It was a joke dickhead. You--- Oh, never mind.” The redhead brought his leg back and slammed it into Jack’s big, bulging balls, ramming them into his pelvis.


Jack’s nuts exploded into chunky paste inside his scruffy blonde sack. He shook violently as his huge erect dick unloaded ropes of steamy spunk, splashing inside his shorts. The last batch of live sperm that Jack would ever produce dribbled down his hairy legs and spattered on the stage.

The scruffy slacker let out a retching cough. “Not… funny... dude.” Jack sank to the ground, his dick still emptying into his cum stained shorts. He shuddered and fell on his side, groaning.

“Oh, dear“, The Bush scratched his head, staring at Jack’s tented, wet crotch. “I hope he made a deposit at the sperm bank.”

A couple of stagehands dragged Jack off the stage as Shawn watched him with a satisfied grin on his face. His own balls were still aching from Jack’s kick. But there was no denying – Jack got it worse. Shawn chuckled. He’d never have sex again. Nice.

“Alright“, The Bush said. “For the next round of questions we’ll gag you, Hamster Dick. You can call anyone you like, and that person is going to answer your questions for you.”

Rocco stared at the gag. His nuts were killing him. And the sight of Jack’s emasculation had left Rocco with a shred of doubt about the stability of his own testicles. He looked down, eyeing his stretched, bloated, and bruised balls suspiciously.

“Come on, who do you want us to call?” The Bush asked, dangling the gag in front of Rocco’s face.

Rocco thought for a moment. Who was the smartest person he knew? “Bucky“, he blurted out. “Call Bucky.”

“Ahhh, The Stoner With The Tiny Boner“, The Bush grinned while stuffing Rocco’s mouth with the gag. “I hope his brain is bigger than his cock…”

Rocco nodded emphatically and gave a muffled response.

The Bush turned to the audience. “While we’re getting the phone attached to the PA, enjoy the Juicy Boys!”

As The Bush walked off stage, a dozen half-naked Go-Go-Boys stormed on stage and swung their impressive packages at the audience.

Shawn tromped over to Rocco, dragging the hammer after him. “This is awesome, buddy!” he grinned and pulled the gag down.

Rocco stared at him. “Yeah, Bucky’s smart, but I don’t know if I can take another hit if he gets a question wrong.” He looked down at his throbbing nuts. “I think I’ve had enough.”

Shawn raised his eyebrows. “You don’t get it, dickhead! This is like a win-win-situation!”

Rocco stared dumbly at Shawn.

“Listen to me“, Shawn said emphatically, a huge grin on his face. “If you win, we get the money. And if I win, we get the money, too!” Shawn frowned. “You just can’t quit! Then no one gets the money!”

“I might need to quit...” Rocco groaned. “I’ll give you a sign if I’ve had enough, okay? I’ll mpffgrmpf---”

Shawn pushed the gag back inside Rocco’s mouth. “Okay, buddy.”

The sound of a dialing phone came over the PA.

“We’re back!” The Bush said, storming onto stage.

The Go-Go-Boys departed, and The Bush chuckled as they passed him, their big hard dicks swinging from side to side. “You like that, huh?” The Bush chuckled before lifting his kilt and exposing his hairy crotch with his stump of a dick and his huge, dangling low-hangers. “How about this?!”

The crowd went wild.

A crackle sounded from over the PA. The phone had been answered.

“Hello?” came Bucky’s raspy voice over the club’s speakers.

“Stoner!” The Bush yelled into his headset. “How are you?”

“I’m--- Oh god, please don’t---” Bucky mumbled.

“Stoner?” The Bush said with a quizzical expression on his face.

“I’m here--- I’m gonna--- nrrrgh, DUDE!” Bucky started giggling over the PA.

“Stoner?!” The Bush chuckled. “Your friend Hamster Dick is here, and his balls are on the line. Let me ask you a question, okay?”

Bucky gasped. “---okay, okay, okay---“

“Okay“, The Bush mumbled. “Here it is... You’re in a doctor’s office Complete this sentence: ‘Turn your head and---’”

Rocco’s eyes lit up. Doctor stuff! Bucky knew this!

“FUCK!” Bucky yelled.

The Bush raised his eyebrows. “Maybe you didn’t understand the question. Finish this sentence. ‘Turn your head and---”

“No... I, aaaaah, I heard--- FUCK!” Bucky groaned.

The Bush shrugged.


“Wrong answer I’m afraid“, The Bush grinned and motioned for Shawn to swing the hammer.

Shawn raised the hammer high above his head and sent it crashing down onto the bullseye, hitting it dead-on with devastating force.



Rocco’s meaty nuts were viciously flattened, and he screamed into his gag. A white jet of cum shot out of his dick, splattering across his hairy chest and bearded face.

“Yeah!” Shawn cheered and jumped around on the stage, doing the helicopter, which drove the audience wild.

Rocco was panting heavily through his nose, as his own spunk dribbled down his pain wracked face. Muffled, frantic screams came from his mouth.

Shawn looked at Rocco’s hairy nuts. They looked huge and ready to burst any second. They probably wouldn’t last much longer… He looked into Rocco’s face.

Rocco’s eyes were wide open and he blinked frantically, shaking his head and screaming into his gag.

Shawn shrugged. They’d win either way.

“Stoner, ready for the next question?” The Bush yelled.

Bucky groaned. “Another? What happened to the first one?”

The Bush frowned. “You got it wrong.”

“Oh! Sorry“, Bucky chuckled. “I--- no, it’s cool, keep going--- dude, no teeth... okay, actually---”

“Okay.” The Bush looked at his card. “This one’s easy. If you’ve got a big dick, you might say you’re ‘Hung Like A---’?”

Bucky giggled. “Dude, I gotta be honest with you. I’m pretty baked right now--- and---” The stoner let out a long, shuddering groan. “And kinda in the--- oh god--- middle of something.”

The Bush sighed. “I’ll give you a hint - the answer is an animal.”

“That’s like... ugh--- a zoology question.” Bucky mumbled. “I gotta--- jeeze--- know it.”

The Bush tapped his foot impatiently. “Well... do you?”

The phone rattled over the PA, and there was the sound of a lighter clicking.

“Stoner?” The Bush yelled into his headset. “An animal? We’re looking for an animal?”

“Animal? I--- oh, god --- I don’t know. Eagle?” Bucky coughed. “Or, like maybe a shark?”


The Bush chuckled. “Not even close.” He looked at Shawn and nodded.

Shawn raised the hammer and looked at Rocco.

Rocco was shaking his head frantically.

“Think about the money, big guy!” Shawn said cheerfully before smashing the hammer down with all the force he could muster.



Rocco eyes opened wide. His body froze. His dick shot a gigantic spurt of cum that splattered right into Rocco’s face, dripping down from his nose and chin.

Rocco retched and gagged while Shawn was cheering and doing the helicopter again.

The Bush was cupping his own crotch in sympathy. “Damn, that sounded nasty…” He walked over to Rocco and checked his nuts. They were bloated and bruised. The Bush poked them with his index finger, making Rocco scream into his gag and struggle against his restraints.

“Hamster Dick, I think your nuts are on their way out“, The Bush grimaced.

Rocco was struggling and screaming and shaking his head frantically. His face was covered in cum. He looked like the star in a bukkake video.

“Listen, are you sure you want to go on?” The Bush asked.

Rocco shook his head violently.

“Hey, big guy“, Shawn stood next to The Bush and smiled at Rocco. “Are you giving me ‘the sign’?”

Rocco’s eyes widened and he nodded his head emphatically.

“We agreed on a sign beforehand“, Shawn smiled at The Bush. “It means – HE’S GOOD FOR ANOTHER ROUND!”

The audience erupted in cheers and applause.

The Bush chuckled and slapped Rocco on his back. “You’re a trouper!” He turned to the crowd. “Give it up for Hamster Dick!”

Rocco screamed against his gag.

“Stoner!” The Bush yelled. “Last question for this round!”

“Yes“, Bucky groaned. “Oh, fuck yes, dude!”

“Here it comes“, The Bush looked at his card. “Yes or No. Does Spiderman have eight dicks?”

“Dude!” Bucky shouted. “Spiderman? What--- Dude! OH FUCK YES DUDE! YES!!!!”


The Bush inhaled sharply. “Wow. I don’t don’t know how we know this - but it says here he only has one.” He turned to Rocco and smiled. “Sorry, Hamster Dick.”

Shawn raised the hammer over his head and adopted a wide stance.

Rocco was shaking his head frantically, screaming and yelling into his gag. His eyes were wide open and filled with fear.

Shawn chuckled. This was gonna get messy.

Suddenly, someone stormed onto the stage, causing the audience to hoot and cheer.

“Hey!” The Bush yelled. “What the fuck?!”

Quint rushed towards Shawn, wearing nothing but his t-shirt- with his big, dangling balls, his furry pubes and dickless crotch fully exposed.

Completely oblivious, Shawn winked at Rocco, the hammer raised high above his head.

Rocco shook his head, screaming into the gag. “NOOOOOO!”

Quint sent his bare foot up between Shawn’s spread legs from behind. His instep connected with Shawn’s huge gonads like a freight train


At first, Shawn thought his nuts were fine. In a moment, he'd spin around, and bust the nuts of whoever just kicked him. But then the pain set in. A real deep pain, like nothing Shawn had ever felt before. Pain that made his dick go rock hard, and launch a rapid volley of cum into Rocco's face. The redhead's hips bucked with each painful spurt, dousing the confused Rocco from head to toe.

Shawn's big round nuts, and they were truly round, almost like pool balls, just weren't there anymore. He was emptying what was left of them all over Rocco. His nuts. His great big hairy man nuggets. His favorite things to wash in the shower. The rolling bulge in his biker pants. The hefty danglers he tea-bagged dudes with...

Pulverized. Applesauce. Gone forever.

The redhead spurt one final chunky load onto Rocco's face. Shawn's final load as a guy with balls, hanging from his best friend's nose. He tried to think of something clever to say...

“Meep”, Shawn squeaked.

The hammer dropped down on Rocco’s nuts.



Rocco screamed in pain.

As Quint stepped back, the audience broke into deafening cheers.

A second later, Shawn toppled forward into Rocco, causing him and the contraption he was in to tip over.

“Hey!” The Bush yelled, stomping over to Quint. He put his hand on the cowboy’s shoulder and pulled him around, noticing Quint’s missing member for the first time. “Whoa! Dude, where’s your dick?”

Quint looked surprised. He pointed at Shawn. “Over there.”

The Bush squinted. “What?”

Quint brought his leg back, and kicked The Bush in the crotch as hard as he could, sending the bearded host head over heels into the audience.

“Dickless Dude Rocks!” someone in the audience shouted.

The crowd broke into thunderous applause.


Officer Leroy Williams and his partner Frank parked the police car in front of the strip club and went in.

The handsome 30 year old man ran his hand through his short black hair. What a day. Six hysteric prostitutes and a naked man on the run, without a penis. He hated these penis related cases. Why were there so many? Couldn’t guys just keep them in their pants?

They opened the door to the club and spotted their target right away. It was that felonious stripper from a few months back. Of course it was.

Officer Williams got closer and aimed his taser gun at the target’s chest. Wait... was the crowd cheering for the felon?

Trip poked his head out from the bathroom, jizz stuck in his short blonde hair.

“Hey, what’s all the---“ Bucky swung the bathroom door wide open, his pants around his ankles, knocking Officer Williams forward just as he fired the taser.


Quint stood in the middle of the stage, baffled at the applause. Sure, he was pretty excited to get his dick back, but he didn’t expect everyone else to be cheering for him. Maybe he should say something. He picked up the mic from the stage, and faced the audience.

Two small projectiles flew through the air and found Quint’s big furry nuts.

He looked down. “Well, fu---”


Quint’s body went board stiff, his eyes fluttering, as his big, meaty gonads were flooded with electricity. He felt the current coursing through his nuts, up into his stomach, chest, arms, and out through the mic.


The stage lights grew exceedingly bright, and then began to blow one by one. BANG! BANG! BANG! Little showers of glass rained onto the club floor as the audience shouted and clapped for the dickless man on stage.


The cowboy smelled something - something like burnt dog hair - and realized that was the fuzz on his nuts scorching. His big bull nuts were roasting. Glowing like two light bulbs as sparks poured down between his legs.


The main lights blew out in a ball of flame, setting off sprinklers in the darkened club. The audience cheered even louder.

Quint dropped the mic. The taser blessedly tapped out. He stood still for a moment, steam rising from his fried nuts. He looked down. His nuts appeared to be whole - maybe cooked like two baked potatoes, but whole.

"Did... Did I win?" he croaked

The cowboy dropped to the ground, twitching violently.

A tremendous cheer rumbled through the darkened club.



Rocco opened his eyes and blinked.

“Hey, big guy!” Bucky said softly.

Rocco groaned. He was lying in a hospital bed. Again. He looked up at Bucky who handed him a cup of water.

“Shawn’s here, too“, Bucky said and pointed at the bed by the window.

Shawn smiled weakly.

Rocco’s eyes wandered from Shawn to the third bed in the room. Between them, The Bush was lying with his head bandaged up.

“He bumped his head“, Bucky mumbled. “He’s out cold.”

Rocco groaned. The strip club. The contest. “What happened?” he said hoarsely.

Bucky grimaced. “Well, you---“

“Hey there, dudes!” Brad entered the room.

Bucky noticed his brother’s dick was tenting his scrubs. Either he was back on dick pills again, or just happy to see them.

“I’ve got news“, Brad announced. “Bad news. And good news. And awesome news! Yay!” He looked from Rocco to Shawn to Bucky. When they didn’t show any reaction, he shrugged and continued. “The bad news is“, he turned to Shawn with a sympathetic smile. “Your nuts are gone, bro. They just blew up in their sack. It’s called testisplosion.” He chuckled. “Actually, I made that word up just now. But basically that’s what it is.” Brad made a little explosion gesture with his hand. “Poof. That’s it. Gone. Empty sack. Sorry, bro.”

Shawn stared at him. “Damn“, he mumbled. “That sucks.”

Bucky shrugged. “You said you never wanted kids.”

Shawn nodded slowly. “Yeah, but I wanted my nuts...”

“Good news is“, Brad turned to Rocco. “I was a able to save your nuts, bro. Wasn’t easy. Severe trauma. Basically, you were one nutkick away from suffering the same fate as your nutless buddy over there.” Brad pointed over to Shawn and smiled. “But for now, your big bull balls are safe.” He winked at Rocco. “I’d give ‘em a rest for while though, dude.”

Rocco’s face broke into a smile. “Of course, Mr. doctor.”

“What’s the awesome news?” Shawn asked.

Brad grinned and leaned over. He lowered his voice. “I was able to give you both your reductions. Just snuck them in.” He snipped his finger. “Just like that. I chopped up the bits and tossed the little pieces in the incinerator.” Brad leaned back and grabbed his dick, grinning dumbly. “Dudes, there’s no way they’re coming back.”

Shawn and Rocco smiled at each other.

“Awesome“, they said simultaneously before leaning over and high-fiving over The Bush’s bed.

The Bush opened his eyes and groaned.

“Hey, Mr. Bush!” Rocco said cheerfully.

The Bush stared at him.

“When do we get the money?” Shawn asked.

The Bush turned his head. “The money?”

“From the contest“, Shawn said. “From last night.”

“Last night?” The Bush scratched his head. “Last--- How long have I been out?”

Brad looked at his watch. “Twelve hours, give or take.”

“Twelve hours?!” The Bush’s eyes widened.

“Give or take“, Brad shrugged.

“Fuck!” The Bush ripped off his sheet and lifted his hospital gown. Over his big, furry balls was the familiar little stump of his banded dick - in an unfamiliar, ugly shade of black. “FUCK!”

The other guys leaned over and stared at The Bush’s crotch.

“Oh shit, man“, Brad mumbled. “Dude, that’s got to go.” He turned to the door. “Nurse!”

“Holy fuck!” Shawn laughed. “Good thing you weren’t that big to begin with…”

The Bush stared at him.

“Actually“, Rocco said, “it’s just a trick. He told me. The little stump is just for the act. When he takes off the band, he’s got a huge cock. Right, Mr. Bush?”

The Bush turned his head, his face white as a sheet.

“Wow. Not anymore“, Shawn burst out laughing. “Not anymore…”

The Bush was wheeled out of the room by Brad and a nurse.

“Holy fuck“, Shawn chuckled. “What a fucking moron! Why would anyone in the world make his dick smaller?! Thank god we’re not in show business! I’m quite happy with my big fucking cock - right, big guy?”

Rocco chuckled. “Fucking right!”

They high-fived again, laughing.

Suddenly, Shawn grew silent. He looked out the window.

Bucky cleared his throat. “About your nuts.”

Shawn grimaced. “Nuts aren’t what they’re trumped up to be“, he mumbled. “As long as I’ve got my big fucking cock…”

Bucky looked at him. “You know, maybe we can get you some silicone implants. Big ones. Like the ones you used to have.”

Shawn’s eyes lit up. “Like boob implants? I want the huge ones – double D!”

Bucky chuckled. “Maybe not THAT big.”

“Can I get some, too?” Rocco chimed in, excitedly.

“No! You still got your real nuts!” Shawn yelled. “The fake double D nuts are just for me!”

Rocco pouted. “Alright“, he mumbled.

“They would look awesome with my---“ Shawn flipped off his sheet and stared at his crotch.

Rocco leaned forward.

Shawn stared at his crotch.

“Um, Shawn?” Rocco said, looking at Shawn’s groin.

Shawn didn’t reply.

“Shawn?” Rocco repeated.


“Shawn?” Rocco said again. “Where’s your dick?”

Bucky inhaled sharply. “Oh, Brad... you idiot.”

Shawn’s eyes were fixed on his crotch. His pubes had been shaved, and his sack was just an empty, wrinkled flap of skin. Above that... above his empty sack, was a neat little blank spot, stitched up, with a catheter poking out.

“The reduction...” Bucky mumbled.

Rocco stared at Bucky, a quizzical expression on his face.

Bucky’s eyes met Rocco’s, and the stoner bit his lower lip, dropping his gaze to Rocco’s crotch.

Rocco’s face was blank. Then, suddenly, it dawned on him. If Shawn got his reduction--- He lifted his sheet and peeked at his crotch. “I... it... No. Oh, no. No, no, NO! NO! NO!”

He looked at his sack, with his big, fat nuts. He still had nuts. Still had his big hairy nuts. And...

“AW, COME ON!” Rocco shouted, turning his head away with a wince.

His great big dick. He had it, he lost it - but he always knew he'd get it back. It was HIS dick. His great BIG floppy cock. It belonged to him.

But now it was like someone borrowed it, used it up, and then gave it back.

Rocco let out a deep throaty groan, and tossed his sheets aside, his eyes looking up to the ceiling for answers. “FUCK! BUCKY! I mean--- FUCK!”

Like a little tower, his dick thrust upward from his shaved crotch. Precisely a tenth of its original length, since ninety percent had been trimmed off. Basically just the big helmet remained, with a tiny little bit of shaft underneath, stitched to his crotch like a mushroom with a huge cap and a disproportionally short, but wide, stem.

Shawn burst out laughing. He pointed at Rocco’s crotch, gasping for breath. “Chopped up!” Tears of laughter were streaming down his face. “Little pieces! Incinerator!”

Bucky glared at him. “What are you laughing at, dude? Your cock is gone, too!”

Shawn was crying with laughter. “But mine was never mine to begin with!”

Bucky nodded slowly.

Rocco stared at his crotch. “Bucky... Bucky, Bucky, Bucky, man, tell me this isn't happening.” It was a trick. It had to be. How would he ever explain it at the gym? At the beach? In bed? It was shorter than Shawn's old dick! Could he even jerk something that short?!

“Dude“, Bucky muttered. “The bills for this are gonna be huge…”

Rocco leaned back in bed, still starring at his stubby cock with wide, unbelieving eyes. “I mean, it's just cold, right? Like, we could zap it, or maybe pills... more vitamins... or kick my nuts… Just force the rest of it back out? Kick my nuts! It'll get better, it just has to heal up, right? RIGHT?!?!”

“Maybe we can get you a nut reduction next!” Shawn cackled.

Bucky nodded. “That would make it look... a little bigger.”

The big hairy stud looked around the room, craning his neck wildly.

“Guys! I don't wanna have a little dick!” Rocco yelled. “IT'S A JOKE! RIGHT!?!? WHY DO I HAVE A LITTLE DICK?!?! MY DICK! MY BIG FUCKING DICK!!!

Bucky bit his lower lip. “Seems like the helicopters have landed for good…”

Sunday, May 17, 2015

From stud to dud: JUNK-A-BRO-LOOZA! (part 2)

Very special thanks to Chadfan! We co-wrote this story and had a great time exchanging emails and tossing ideas back and forth. This story is a bit different from the rest of my work, and I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

Previously on “From stud to dud”:
JUNK-A-BRO-LOOZA! (part 1)

Title credit: I read the phrase "From stud to dud" first in pooiu's 2010 f/m story Busting League: Day 1. Check out his excellent story blog Busted Spuds.

Warning: Can contain traces of cum.

“Let’s get ready for round one!” The Bush yelled as thumping, loud music started playing.

A couple of stage hands rolled three identical contraptions onto the stage and placed them next to each other. Each of them consisted of a seat that was suspended about 7 ft. above the ground by a wooden construction, a bit like a lifeguard’s chair. The seating surface sported a conspicuous hole in the middle, and there were leg rests on either side.

Rocco, Shawn and Bucky stripped off their few remaining bits of clothing, egged on by The Bush and the cheering crowd. Rocco and Shawn did the helicopter, showing off their long, fat cocks, much to the joy of the audience, while Bucky scratched his pubes, looking a bit lost.

“Round One!” The Bush shouted. “Ballsack Speedbag - brought to you by our sponsor NutJuice.”

Hot guys wearing only “NutJuice” t-shirts walked out into the audience, dangerously lobbing cans of the malt-liquor energy drink into the excited crowd. A few more paraded across the stage, handing cans to the host and contestants.

The Bush cracked a can open. “NutJuice! 25% alcohol, 1% artificial coconut flavor, 110% fun!” He emptied the can down his throat. For a split-second it looked like he was going to puke, but he managed to put on a good face. Clearing his throat, he shouted, “Get up there, guys  - it’s Ballsack Speedbag!”

The crowd roared with laughter.

Rocco and Shawn chuckled, and quickly emptied their cans before climbing up and sitting down.

“Oh, come on.” Bucky mumbled, and downed his NutJuice in one gulp. He shuddered in disgust. It tasted like something you’d spray on a dead body to cover the smell. He turned to the assistant and muttered, “Can I have another?”

Two cans of NutJuice later, Bucky was sitting in his chair, a cheerful smile on his face.

The stagehands fastened the three contestants’ legs to the leg rests, causing them to sit with their legs spread wide apart.

“Hey, Hamster Dick!” The Bush grinned. “How’s the view from up there?”

“Fantastic, Mr. Bush!” Rocco yelled.

“Awesome“, The Bush chuckled. “The view from down here is pretty fantastic, too…” He pointed at the three big, bulging nutsacks that dangled through the holes. Three furry nutsacks that were hanging very low due to the weight of the big, fat balls inside.

Rocco’s huge, round babymakers were the biggest of the bunch, with Shawn’s fat nuggets taking a close second place. Even though Bucky’s balls couldn’t compete with his friends’, he still had a massive pair of juicy plums that jiggled as he shifted on his seat.

The audience roared with cheers and laughter.

The Bush grinned and turned to the audience. “Okay, now we need three volunteers. Are there any boxers in the audience?”

It didn’t take long until three heavily muscled jocks stood on stage. Twitchy, drunk frat boys in their mid-twenties, all sporting the same college name on their matching baseball caps.

“Oh, shit, dude“, Bucky mumbled, peering down as the three guys were given boxing gloves to lace up.

Shawn and Rocco had downed several more cans of NutJuice while they were strapped into their seats, and they seemed far less concerned about the fate of their testicles than Bucky.

The three boxers took up positions in front of their respective ballsacks. They were smiling, slapping each other on the back, and grabbing their junk.

“Dude, fuckin’ nuts, bro!” One of them laughed dumbly, tugging at his semi-hard cock.

“Hey Rocco man!” Another one of the boxers shouted. “You got some big hairy balls dude! Like...” He stared at the big set of nuts swinging under Rocco’s seat, and cracked a smile. “Like... big moose nuts!”

“I’ve never seen moose nuts!” Rocco yelled back.

“They’re big!” The boxer chuckled and flashed a mean smile. “Sorry I’m gonna ruin ‘em bro!”

“Oh. Well... Thanks!” Rocco shouted back.

The boxer cupped his nuts and laughed.

“Look at the screens!” Shawn yelled and pointed to the side where the three hairy ballsacks were shown in close-up. “The big one in the middle, that’s my sack! Fuck, it looks awesome!”

The image on the screen changed and zoomed in on Rocco’s huge nuts.

“Whoohooo!” Rocco cheered.

“Okay, Speedbaggers!” The Bush grinned, eying the three dangling sacks before him. “I want you to pummel these nutsacks as hard as you can, alright? Imagine that these three dudes are making moves on your date! Would you let these fuckers go home with their nuts?”

“Fuck no!” one of the boxers snorted.

“Do you have the NUTS to ruin these NUTS?!?” The Bush roared, pointing at Shawn’s sack.

“YEAH!” The three boxers roared back.

The Bush clapped his hands. “Nuts are on the line gentlemen! Make those punches count! The first contestant to pop a nut, or give up, gets eliminated - leaving two dudes in competition for the BIG MONEY!”

The audience broke into loud cheers as the sound of tumbling coins once more rumbled through the club.

Shawn turned to Bucky and grinned. “Dude, don’t worry. If one of us looses a nut, your brother can just stitch in another.”

Bucky blinked. “What?”

Shawn’s smile faltered. “Your brother dude. Like he did with Quint’s dick. He can get us new nuts, right?”

Bucky slowly shook his head. “...I don’t think you can replace nuts, dude.”

Shawn looked back at the screen at his big nuts dangling. “Oh... crap.”

The Bush raised his voice. “Okay, here we go! Ballsack Speedbag - ready, steady, SMASH ‘EM!”

Immediately, the three muscular boxers started pummeling their respective nutsacks. Bucky, Rocco and Shawn let out throaty shouts that were quickly drowned out by the cheers and the laughter from the audience.

The Bush was cringing in mock-sympathy, and cupping his crotch as the three hapless contestants’ hairy nuts were beaten without mercy. “Wow, look at those punches - you three jocks must be real pissed off!” He peered at the boxers’ crotches, and loudly whispered into his mic. “Is it because you frat boys got some tiny nuts?”

The audience broke into riotous laughter, causing the frat boys to double their efforts. They punched Bucky, Rocco, and Shawn’s captive nuts, again and again. Harder and harder. Faster and faster!

Soon, the first signs of swellings and bruises were visible.

Bucky was grinding his teeth, his eyes clenched tightly shut. The cheers and laughter of the audience echoed in his ears, and he didn’t want to see his precious jewels get turned to mush on the big screens.

He heard the dull smacks of the boxer’s fists slamming into his soft, tender testicles. He heard the horrible thud they made when they slammed against the undersurface of the chair. And he heard Rocco’s and Shawn’s anguished grunts, screams, and groans as they suffered just like he did.

He opened his eyes, and saw that both Shawn and Rocco - even in the midst of their possible neutering - were sporting rock hard erections. He looked down and saw that he too had a nearly vertical hard on. His cockhead was rubbing against his furry six-pack. It was as if their dicks were shouting, “Dudes give up! We need your nuts!”

Rocco and Shawn were always putting their nuts on the line. They thought they were indestructible... but Bucky knew. He knew that once nuts started to fail, the failure was catastrophic. A dude was left with nut soup in his sack. Nothing to save.

Bucky loved his nuts.

He thought of all the fun he had with his nuts. All the loads he’d shot into, on, and all over the countless partners he had. He loved his nuts.


With a sick, wet sound, Bucky felt something in his right nut give.


Another punch, and he felt his left nut go all tingly.


Bucky’s eyes lost focus as he let out an anguished scream.


The muscular jock’s fist slammed into Bucky’s nuts like a freight train, smashing his nuts dangerously flat. Nut soup. His nuts! What was he doing?!?! Bucky loved his nuts!

“DUDES! DUDES! DUDES!” Bucky screamed from the top of his lungs. “STOP! STOP IT! I GIVE UP!”

It took a little while for The Bush to stop the nut pummeling, but finally the boxers were convinced to back off. They were panting, wet with sweat, and laughing at the damage they’d brought.

“Apparently, they like their new training regime“, The Bush shouted, before looking up at the contestants. “So who wants to quit?”

“Me!” Bucky groaned, his handsome face was white as a sheet.

“Stoner?” The Bush said. “Oh, man, I was rooting for you! I really was!”

“Sorry, dude, I’m out“, Bucky moaned. “I need a fuckin’ joint.”

Rocco and Shawn leaned forward in their seats, to get a better look at Bucky. They didn’t look so hot themselves.

“Good luck, guys“, Bucky groaned as the stage hands freed his legs and allowed him to climb down. He stood bowlegged in the middle of the stage. His erection had wilted, leaving his dick shrunken, as if Bucky had spent hours swimming in cold water.

The audience booed.

“Guys, guys, guys“, The Bush said. “It’s Stoner’s decision. Apparently, he wants to keep his balls“, He motioned to Bucky’s shriveled dick, “for whatever reason.”

The crowd roared with laughter.

Bucky smiled weakly. He cupped his balls - they seemed okay, but his sack was gonna be some ugly colors for the next few days.

“I’m really sorry, Stoner”, The Bush said cheerfully. “But you are---“ He brought his leg back and sent his boot between Bucky’s thighs, ramming it into his aching, swollen nuts with a wet splat. “OUT!”

The loudspeakers blared Beck’s “Loser” into the room as the three frat boys helped Bucky limp off stage, and into the wildly cheering audience.

Rocco turned to Shawn, a worried look on his face. “Bucky’s nuts are okay, right?”

Shawn ran a hand over his shaved head, and smiled weakly. “Yeah... of course they are.”

Rocco looked down from his seat at The Bush. “Mr. Bush, can we come down now?”

The Bush waived cheerfully up at Rocco and Shawn. “Sorry, Hamster Dick! You fellas just stay put during this little intermission.” He pointed to their stiff erections. “Looks like you’re enjoying yourselves anyway.” He turned to the audience. “You know, I used to have a cock just like that...” He raised his kilt, and looked down at his stubby dick appraisingly. “Yeah... I did.” He dropped his kilt. “But when my ex-wife moved out, she took all the dildos with her!”

The audience broke into laughter as The Bush walked off stage.

“Back in a couple of minutes folks!” he shouted.


Rocco glanced at his bobbing hard on. He and Shawn were still stuck in the lifeguard chairs, and The Bush hadn’t returned yet. Thankfully, the stagehands had loaded them up with more cans of Nutjuice, which Rocco and Shawn knocked back as they waited. Rocco was feeling pretty buzzed, enough so that his sore nuts barely bothered him at all. On the big TV screens they were an ugly, bruised color. Shawn’s were, too. Rocco blinked a couple times, and turned to his buddy. “One of us is gonna win, right?”

Shawn perked up at the thought of winning, and smiled. “Sure, Hamster Dick. One of us. And then we’ll be rolling in cash.” Shawn’s dick twitched at the thought. “We’ll get strippers. And fuckin’ fast cars---”

“And pay off our doctor bills.” Rocco added.

Shawn shrugged. “That too.” He tilted his head. “Rocco, what are you gonna spend your money on?”

Rocco chuckled. “I dunno...” He looked down at his erection and frowned. “Well...” He looked back to Shawn. “Do you think those dick enlargement surgeries really work?”

“Oh my god!” Shawn broke into a fit of laughter.

Rocco furrowed his brow. “No, I’m serious.”

Shawn tried to control his breathing. “But... Rocco it’s... it’s so... big already.”

Rocco grinned. “Yeah - but imagine if it was even bigger.”

The PA crackled to life.

“Alright, let’s move on to Round TWO!” The Bush roared, walking back on stage. “Ding-Dong Swingers! Brought to you by our sponsor, NutJuice!” He cracked open another can with thinly veiled disgust. “NutJuice - 25% alcohol, 1% artificial coconut flavor, 110% fun!” The Bush said quickly before emptying the contents of the can. “Ew. Alright, Ding-Dong Swingers. We need two volunteers for this one.”

Stage hands cleared Bucky’s chair from the stage and locked two sets of handcuffs to the necks of Rocco’s and Shawn’s sacks. Each guy’s sack had two pairs clamped tightly around them, and each pair had one cuff left dangling open.

“Who wants to hang from these big, hairy, NUTS!?!” The Bush yelled. “The heavier you are the better!”

Shawn turned to Rocco, a relieved look on his face. “Okay, this won’t be so bad. We can do this.”

“Any takers?” the Bush called out.

“Bro! I’ll do it!” A voice called out from the audience. “I want that redhead’s nuts!”

Shawn’s smile fell.

A buff brown haired guy, maybe in his late twenties, climbed up on the stage. He was wearing shorts, with no underwear, and had a good week’s worth of stubble on his face. He looked like he hadn’t had a decent night’s rest in months.

Shawn cocked his head. “Do I know you?”

The man jabbed a finger at Shawn. “In the park! You broke my fucking nuts with your dickless friend here!”

Rocco raise a hand. “I got it back though“, he beamed, and pointed to his hard on.

Shawn shifted uncomfortably in his chair. “Oh... the park... right.” Suddenly he wished he wasn’t on stage, strapped to a chair, with a massive and very exposed erection.

The Bush stepped forward. “Wow!” He forced a laugh. “Okay, I have no idea what any of you are talking about... But it sounds pretty personal.” He pointed the mic at the angry man. “What’s you’re name?”

“Diesel“, the man fumed. “That redhead kicked my balls so hard - they haven’t stopped hurting for three fucking months!”

The audience laughed.

Diesel didn’t seem to notice the laughter. He just continued to jab his finger at Shawn. “They hurt so bad I can’t work. Can’t sleep. Can’t have sex. Can’t even fucking jerk this off - for three fucking months!” He undid his fly, and pulled out an oddly blunt dick. “And because of you fuckers I only have half a dick! One of your insane friends shot it off - in this freaking club!”

“Okay!” The Bush laughed nervously, taking the mic away. “We have our first volunteer! Do we have another... anyone?”

There was a murmur in the crowd as another figure climbed up on stage. It was Quint.

“I’ll kick his nuts.” Quint said flatly, and pointed to Shawn.

“The redhead?” The Bush pointed at Shawn, a bit exasperated. “We got someone for him. How about Rocco?”

Quint folded his arms, and stared at Shawn’s erect cock. “Nope. I wanna kick Shawn’s nuts. Hard.”

Shawn gulped.

The Bush chuckled. “Well, what we’re doing right now is gonna be a bit more nuanced than just kicking these guys in the nuts.”

Quint frowned. “Huh?”

Diesel grumbled impatiently. “Bro, we aren’t kicking them in the nuts. Fuck off.”

Quint scratched his chest. “Oh... okay. I got confused I guess. I’m out then.” Quint turned to climb off stage.

Shawn sighed in relief.

“Hey cowboy!” The Bush shouted. “Hold on. We’re still gonna totally ruin these nuts!”

Quint eyed The Bush quizzically. “Yeah?”

The Bush nodded, smiling. “Oh yes. Very much”

Quint hiked his pants up. “Okay, I’m back in then.”

Shawn groaned as Quint walked toward the redhead’s chair, whistling.

Diesel stepped in front of Quint, the jock’s half-cock still hanging out of his shorts. “Bro! That asshole ginger owes me!” Diesel gave Quint a shove. “So back off!”

Quint scowled. What would Troy do in this situation? He thought about Troy. Still stuck in prison. Poor Troy lost his dick too... and his nuts. Those were gone forever. Up with the angels. Troy’s junk must be on a little cloud, with a little harp, waiting patiently for the rest of Troy to arrive...

Diesel shoved Quint again. “Bro - are you listening to me?”

The Bush rubbed his temples. “GUYS!”

Diesel and Quint turned to the bearded host, startled.

The Bush tilted his mic toward Quint. “Okay, Cowboy, what’s your name?”

Quint leaned forward. “Quint.” He said simply.

The Bush rolled his shoulders in frustration. “Okay, Quint... I gotta ask, are you on anything?”

Quint blinked, and leaned into the mic again. “Probation.”

“Of course you are.” The Bush rolled his eyes, and gestured to Rocco. “SO... Quint and Diesel, one of you has to forget Shawn, and work Rocco over. He’s got nuts to lose too! Am I right people?” He raised his arms, soliciting a cheer from the crowd. “Right! Let’s settle this... the easy way. Whoever has the biggest, most thigh slapping dick---”

“He wins.” Quint sighed, and motioned to Diesel.

“Huh?” The Bush stammered. “Quint, he’s got half a dick.”

“He wins.” Quint repeated.

“Okay...Well then.” The Bush pointed to Shawn. “Diesel, you get Shawn. And Quint, that means you get Rocco.” The Bush leaned in close to Quint and Diesel. “Now, for the guy who makes one of our contestants yell ‘Uncle,’ there’s a special prize at the end of this round---” The Bush turned to the audience, and yelled into the mic. “Something to get YOUR, DICK, HARD!”

As the audience broke into wild shouts, Quint looked up at Shawn. Their eyes met.

Shawn gulped. He opened his mouth to say something, but a strangled scream came out when The Bush yanked down hard on the handcuffs clamped to his nutsack.

“Let me show you the ropes“, The Bush grinned at Quint and Diesel. “We handcuff each of you to one of these guys, so your wrists are cuffed to their sacks. You can do whatever you want. Pull as hard as you can, and make them really feel it. Their balls are so swollen there’s no chance these cuffs will slip off and you hurt yourselves.”


In the audience, Bucky watched the show, cupping his balls and grimacing in pain.

“Hey, Stoner“, came a familiar voice from behind.

Bucky turned around to see Trip who was smiling at him. “Hey, Trip“, Bucky groaned.

The blond biker licked his lips. “You looked pretty good up there.”

Bucky cleared his throat. “I did? Well, it didn’t feel good…”

Trip chuckled and waved a joint at Bucky. “I might have some medication.”

Bucky looked at the joint broke into a wide grin. “That’s just what I need…”

Trip’s hand slipped between Bucky’s thighs and his fingers closed around Bucky’s swollen balls. He leaned forward and whispered into his ear, “And, I can make sure everything’s in ‘working order’…”

Bucky’s dick twitched. “That sounds reasonable“, he said hoarsely, before he was pulled into the men’s room by Trip.


On the stage, Diesel and Quint were getting ready to start. Their wrists locked into the cuffs that were locked around Rocco and Shawn’s nut sacks.

“Round Two! Ding-Dong Swingers - ready, steady, set them SWINGIN’!” The Bush yelled.

Immediately, Diesel yanked down on the cuffs as hard as he could, causing Shawn to grunt in surprise.

Rocco was confused. He looked down, and saw that Quint was barely tugging. Instead, the cowboy was staring intently as Diesel.

“You should’ve picked Rocco.” Quint mumbled.

Diesel quit tugging. “Bro, you had your chance.” He chuckled. “How small is your dick any---”

Quint kicked forward suddenly, his leather cowboy boot connecting directly with Diesel’s unprotected nuts.


Diesel retched, and lost all control of his legs as his big broken nuts were smashed into his crotch. He felt them crunch, their insides crumbling ,squashed painfully flat and flatter. Finally they gave up. Like two wet snowballs thrown against a brick wall, Diesel’s big fat nuts blew apart inside his hairy sack.

“OH FUCK!” Diesel bellowed, as three months of pent up cum erupted in a torrent from his dick, spattering wetly on the stage. Thick globs of slippery cum, chunky with bits of his big breeder balls, pooled on the floor beneath him, making it even harder for Diesel to stand.

“Holy Fuck!” The Bush yelled, and took a step back from the spray of jizz.

Shawn let out an anguished roar as Diesel lost his footing, slipping on his own cum, and the dumb jock’s full weight suddenly yanked the redhead’s nuts down as far as they’d go.

Quint had a determined expression on his face, looking up at Shawn’s stretched balls. They were wedged at the bottom of his sack. He could see them throbbing through the stretched, thin, shiny skin. An idea crossed his mind, and his face lit up. He didn’t have ideas very often. And most of them were bad. But this one - this one could work!

A murmur went through the audience. What was the cowboy doing?

Rocco looked over to Shawn. Every muscle on the redhead’s body was tense - but he was still sporting a nearly vertical erection, just like Rocco. Shawn was screaming like his nuts---

Quint raised his knees to his chest, and swung from Rocco’s sack.

Rocco’s eyes crossed as he felt the full weight of Quint’s body pull his big hairy balls to their breaking point. He felt his massive dick give a few twitches, precum leaking in little dribbles. Rocco’s dick was so hard that his big mushroom head had turned a deep purple. Sort of the same color as his nuts on the big screen.

Quint swung forward. His muscles were straining against his denim shirt as he let out grunts of effort and concentration.

The audience was clapping and cheering wildly while Rocco and Shawn were screaming from the top of their lungs. Both of their nuts stretched dangerously far from their bodies, even as their dicks stood at full mast.

Quint swung forward, and locked his knees over Diesel’s shoulders, resting his weight on the groaning jock. Diesel’s face was firmly planted in Quint’s groin, as the cowboy squirmed his hips to better rest his weight.

“Wow, nice!” The Bush laughed. “Ride that face, cowboy!”

Rocco screams subsided into a coughing fit, as he felt the pressure on his balls let up slightly.

Shawn let out an anguished wail. Now there was the weight of two men yanking on his balls.

The audience went wild.

Shawn was screaming and groaning, his nut cords stretched to their absolute limits. His balls were pressed to the bottom of his sack, as Diesel and Quint hung suspended from them.

Every muscle in Quint’s body was taut as he kept up the pressure on Shawn’s nuts.

Diesel gagged into Quint’s crotch. It smelled like stale beer and firewood. The room was spinning around him, getting darker. “Muh nufts!” he gasped into Quint’s crotch. “Yuph broph muh nufts!”

Shawn was screaming and shrieking in pain. His nuts were churning, and his dick was oozing pre-cum. He looked down at his rock hard erection in shock. Was he about to cum?

When Rocco turned to the screen, he saw that Shawn’s pool ball nuts were stretched almost a full foot from his body.

Diesel’s dick gave one last spasm, spewing a final load onto the stage - but the jock had quit struggling. He hung limp, passed out, as Quint continued to grind his crotch into Diesel’s unconscious face.

Shawn’s voice had turned hoarse and throaty, and his screams had turned into pitiful croaks. The pain had changed from a sharp sting into a nauseating throb. His balls were numb. They were stretched to their limit. This wasn’t any fucking fun anymore. There weren’t even any chicks---


Shawn’s sack lowered suddenly, causing Quint to lose his balance and fall off Diesel. He swung backwards on Rocco’s sack, his full weight suddenly returned.
Rocco opened his mouth in a comical gasp as he felt his nuts nearly rip from his body!

“FUCK!” Shawn screamed. “FUCK! STOP IT! I GIVE! I GIVE!”

“You’re out!” The Bush yelled as the audience went wild with cheers and applause.

Quint grinned, now standing again. He gave Rocco’s nuts a little tug, and looked up at the big stud. “I never won nothin’ before.”

Rocco was breathing heavily, his hair wet with sweat. He looked down at his cock, still painfully hard. “Did... did we win? Is it over?” he panted.

“Not yet, Hamster Dick!” The Bush grinned. “One more round to go!”

Stage hands unlocked Diesel’s limp body from Shawn’s sack, cum still dripping from the unconscious jock’s half dick. The crowd cheered and hooted as he was dragged off stage.

Quint looked around expectantly - but no one came to uncuff him from Rocco’s nuts.

The Bush chuckled and looked at Shawn’s sack. The skin was fiery red, and Shawn’s nuts hung oddly low. “Damn“, The Bush crowed. “You’re hanging loose guy... real loose. Are they still attached?” He gave Shawn’s nuts an experimental tug.

“YES!” Shawn screamed.

Quint looked more than a little disappointed as he hung from Rocco’s bloated nuts. “Damn“, he mumbled.

The Bush released Shawn’s nuts, letting them swing lazily. “Huh. Must’ve torn a ligament.”

The stage hands returned and freed Shawn, helping him down the seat’s ladder. He was groaning and grunting in pain, covering his aching nuts.

“Don’t worry, Long Shawn,’” The Bush grinned. “You’re almost done up here.” He raised his voice. “But before he goes…” The Bush turned to Quint, who was still cuffed to Rocco’s nuts. “Wow. Quint, man, you get an A for effort!” He slapped Quint on the back, causing Rocco to yelp up in his chair. “You busted three guys at once. That takes some big old lug nuts.” The Bush cupped Quint’s crotch for emphasis and turned back to the audience. “I think this cowboy deserves a reward - don’t you?”

The audience burst into loud cheers.

“Oh, yeah!” The Bush yelled. “Come on, Juicy Girls!”

The room filled with blaring techno music as six big-busted, scantily clad drag queens entered the stage, strutting their stuff and gathering behind Quint.

Quint had a dumbfounded expression on his face. What was all this?! All he wanted to do was bust Shawn’s nuts!

“Congratulations cowboy!” The Bush shouted into the microphone. “You just won a year’s supply of Viagra, courtesy of our sponsor NutJuice!”

The audience went wild with cheers and applause.

The Bush pumped his fist, “That cowboy cock is gonna be hard - ALL! YEAR! LONG!”

A stagehand shoved a rolled up t-shirt into Quint’s arms. Quint looked at it, frowning. The shirt read, “Juice My Nuts!” over a lewd drawing of a huge penis that was shooting gallons of jizz from two oversized, contracting testicles. Quint looked at The Bush and blinked.

“That’s gonna be you in a couple minutes!” The Bush chuckled, before drawing his leg back and treating Quint to a full-forced nut-shattering kick in the crotch.

The Bush’s boot connected with the bulge in Quint’s jeans, and flattened it.

Quint’s eyes looked like they were going to pop out of their sockets. His mouth opened to let out a guttural grunt, and he collapsed into the arms of the waiting drag-queens.

The audience clapped and cheered as the girls led Quint off the stage and through the audience. The doors to the club opened, revealing a stretch limo parked at the curb. Quint and the six scantily clad ladies disappeared inside the car. Before the limo drove off, a back window rolled down and one of the girls exposed her silicone-enhanced boobs.

“I hope I didn’t make that bull a steer!” The Bush mused with a wide grin, drawing cheers and laughter from the crowd. “Because he’s gonna need those nuts tonight!”

Shawn was standing on stage, having momentarily forgotten about the pain in his sack. His mouth was hanging open as he watched Quint leave with the six gorgeous girls. He felt cheated. That was what he wanted! What he DESERVED! Hot chicks! A fancy car! A year’s supply of Viagra!

The redhead’s fantasy was cut short by a nasty kick that smashed his traumatized testicles, and brought him back into the real world- the world of real pain. Shawn collapsed on the stage with a pitiful whimper.

“You’re OUT!” The Bush yelled.


In the men’s room, Bucky and Trip were enjoying their third consecutive joint inside one of the stalls. Bucky sat on the closed bowl, his pants around his ankles. Trip was facing Bucky, seated on his lap, and straddling the stoner’s bony knees.

Trip blinked through the pot smoke. “Dude, I got the munchies real bad.” He gave Bucky’s dick an absentminded jerk as he took another hit from his joint.

Bucky chuckled through a toothy, lopsided grin. “Yeah...” He glanced around stall before looking back up at Trip, squinting at the Biker on his lap. “Should we order a pizza, or something?”

Trip let out an affirmative grunt and tried to dismount from Bucky’s lap. He stumbled against the wall of the stall, and slid down, giggling manically.

Bucky took the joint from Trip, and leaned back, opening his thighs to give his bruised nuts a little air.

Suddenly, the door to the stall opened.

Trip and Bucky looked up to see Chad standing in the doorway.

Chad stared at Bucky’s erection, then at Trip who had a huge smile on his face.

“Hey, dude“, Bucky grinned. “What’s up?”

Chad cleared his throat. “Wow. Um, there’s… um, an intermission before the final round, so…“ His voice trailed off.

“Cool“, Bucky and Trip nodded simultaneously.

“I just wanted to---” Chad tried covering his crotch with his hands, but he couldn’t hide the huge erection that was snaking down the leg of his pants. “You know…”

“Dude“, Bucky added slowly, extending his hand and offering Chad his joint. “Wanna... order a pizza?”

Chad frowned. “What? I’m--- I--- No.” He nodded to Trip. “No thanks.” Chad turned on his heels and left the stall, walking awkwardly out of the bathroom.

Trip turned to Bucky. “Guess he wasn’t hungry.”

Trip and Bucky burst out laughing.


Outside the club, Shawn was smoking a cigarette in the dimly lit parking lot. He looked out to the street. Fuck Quint and that fucking limo... All those hot girls wasted on that dickless moron. And the Viagra! What could a dickless guy do with Viagra?! Did NutJuice also make Viagra?

Shawn let out an angry grunt and took a deep drag from the cigarette. “What a waste“, he mumbled. His nuts fucking hurt. Shawn winced, and tugged at the crotch of his jeans. He’d stuffed his bruised, swollen nuts back into his tight biker pants the best he could, but had to let his dick hang out of the fly. There just wasn’t any room. “What a fucking waste“, Shawn repeated, his face contorted in anger and pain.

“You’re right about that, buddy“, came a voice from behind Shawn.

Shawn turned around to see Jack, the scruffy blond guy that had been eliminated before the first round.

Shawn looked at him. “You’re---“

“The Jackhammer“, Jack grimaced. Like Shawn, he was nursing a pair of sore nuts.

“Right“, Shawn sighed. He offered Jack a cigarette.

They smoked in silence.

Shawn stared at the street, and absentmindedly fondled his aching nuts.

“That limo”, Jack gestured to toward the empty street.

Shawn let out a grunt.

“With the girls”, Jack added.

Shawn groaned.

“That all should’ve been yours”, Jack sighed.

Shawn turned to him. “Right? I mean - fuck!”

Jack nodded emphatically. “That cowboy - what a dick.”

Shawn chuckled a bit. A dick without a dick, that’s what Quint was.

“But Dude, you saw the MC kick him in his nuts, right?” Jack grinned.

Shawn’s eyes lit up. “Saw it? I fuckin’ heard it man. ‘SPLUNCH!’”

“I bet that ruined his night“, Jack chuckled. “I bet he can’t get it up after that kick.”

Shawn laughed. “Man, he’ll never get it up again.”

The both shared a laugh.

“Did you see the expression on his face?” Jack laughed.

“Like this!” Shawn made an exaggerated grimace, his eyes crossed, his eyebrows raised, his mouth hanging open.

Jack burst out laughing.

Shawn chuckled. “Kicking a guy in the nuts is awesome…”

“Fuck, yeah!” Jack nodded.

Shawn handed him another cigarette and lit one himself.

“There’s nothing better than ruining a guy’s night with a well-placed kick“, Jack grinned.

Shawn sneered, exhaling smoke. “The bigger the nuts the more it hurts“, he chuckled.

“Man, I can fuckin’ attest to that!” Jack laughed, cupping his nuts.

The door to the club opened and Chad came out, walking stiffly, his hands fumbling with his crotch.

“Hey Chad!” Shawn yelled.

Chad turned his head and walked over to Shawn.

“How’s it goin’ in---“ Shawn’s eyes fell on Chad’s crotch. “Is that a fucking boner?!”

Shawn and Jack burst out laughing.

Chad blushed. “It’s just a little---“

Shawn’s and Jack’s laughter drowned out Chad’s voice.

“Did you just finally admit that you got a small dick?” Shawn snorted with laughter.

Chad raised an eyebrow. “No, you douche. That’s not---”

“But it’s what you said, man!” Jack laughed.

“Look at his tiny boner!” Shawn yelled, pointing at Chad’s crotch.

Jack and Shawn were laughing their asses off.

Chad raised his voice. “You know, fuck---”


The cameraman was interrupted by a thunderous kick to his nuts that lifted him clear off the ground. Chad let out a pathetic, wheezing whimper before collapsing on the pavement, his legs kicking, his body shaking.

“Wow“, Jack chuckled. “A one kick take down. Awesome!”

Shawn grinned proudly. He took a drag from his cigarette and shrugged. “Yeah, that’s my style.” He patted Jack’s shoulder and smiled. “You know, I could teach you a couple tricks… We gotta find a pair of nuts for you to---”

Jack’s foot connected with Shawn’s fat, traumatized testicles and rammed them into the redhead’s body. Shawn’s eyes bulged, and met Jack’s for a brief moment. Jack cracked a wide smile and shrugged. Shawn sank to the ground with a grunt, and curled into a ball next to Chad.

Jack grinned. “Hey Shawn, I think I found a pair... Did I do good?” the scruffy blonde chuckled, before stomping out his cigarette and walking back into the club. “See you later, man.”
Shawn rolled onto his side. “Fuuuucking... asshole!” he groaned, clutching his battered nuts.


Inside the club, NutJuice and beer flowed freely as the intermission dragged on.

A couple of stagehands were setting the scene for the final round. Rocco stood next to The Bush, still naked, as the crew erected a new contraption.

Rocco slapped the kilted man on the back. “You’re a funny guy Mr. Bush.”

“And you’re hung like a goddamn animal.” The Bush replied with a wink.

Rocco tugged at his huge, semi-hard schlong and grinned. “Yeah, I am.” Cracking open another can of Nutjuice, the hairy stud glanced at The Bush’s kilt. “Sorry about your...” Rocco thought for a moment. “... dick. I guess.”

The Bush took a big gulp from his can of beer and wiped his mouth with his forehand before chucking the empty can across the stage. “You mean this?” He lifted his kilt, exposing his hairy crotch with his hefty nutsack and his scrawny stump of a dick.

Rocco nodded dumbly. “Yeah... your dick.”

The Bush grinned and covered his crotch again. “Want to know a ‘little’ secret?”

Rocco eyed the can of NutJuice in his hand suspiciously. “If it’s about the NutJuice secret recipe---”

The Bush laughed and cracked another bottle of beer open. “Drink enough of that shit and your balls’ll be fried from the inside out. Blue food coloring. Blue jizz. Blue balls. That’s why we’re doing these shitty contests - to drum up some support before the lawyers come and kick US in the nuts.”

Rocco looked around the club. “So all these guys drinking NutJuice---”

“Are sluggin’ down industrial grade spermicide.” He took a big gulp from his beer and leaned over to Rocco. “But that’s not the secret.”

Rocco leaned in closer. “It’s not?” He took another gulp from his can of NutJuice.

The Bush whispered, “No Rocco... it’s about my dick...” He chuckled. “I’m hung like a fucking Lipizzan stallion.”

Rocco tilted his head. “Are those... tiny horses?”

The Bush frowned. “What? Fuck no!” He grinned, and grabbed Rocco’s fat dong, tugging at it. “I’m saying I got a big cock! Almost as big as your fucking monster.”

Rocco furrowed his brow. “But…” He pointed at The Bush’s crotch.

“It’s all smoke and mirrors, man”, The Bush chuckled and slapped Rocco’s shoulder.

Rocco blinked.

“It’s a trick“, The Bush explained. “You know, I was doing this show in a night club. Awful place. A dozen of people in the audience. All of them drunk or stoned or both. I was doing my act – and I bombed. I’m telling you, man, it was like fucking Bagdad.” He shook his head, grimacing at the memory. “Suddenly, there’s this guy heckling me, making fun of me.” The Bush sighed. “Sad thing was, he was funnier than me… Called my dick small and made a couple of tiny dick jokes.”

Rocco chuckled. “They’re funny.”

The Bush laughed. “Yes, they are. So I came up with this idea.” He leaned over to Rocco and lowered his voice. “Before I go out and do my stuff, I band my big floppy cock, cut off the circulation, and it looks like this.” The Bush lifted his kilt. “See? Pathetic... and hilarious. There’s a little green rubber band under these pubes, and it’s got a choke hold on my cock. Couldn’t get hard even if I wanted to.”

Rocco looked at The Bush’s crotch and grunted. “But... what if you wanna... you know?”

“Fuck?” The Bush winked at Rocco. “Imagine the surprise when I take a groupie backstage… the band comes off, and BOOM!” He laughed. “Damn, I love the look on the girls’ faces. They’re resigned to a night of cuddlin’ - but when they see this in all its glory, we’re both in for a night of deep fucking bonking!”

Rocco chuckled. “I bet you’re doing it every night, right? Band your dick, get a girl – and BOOM!”

The Bush grimaced. “Nah, you gotta be careful, you know. Once or twice a week, and no longer than a couple of hours. Otherwise my fat fucking dong would be in big trouble…”

Rocco nodded slowly. “You’re like a magician. Making your dick disappear like that.”

The Bush grinned. “It’s just stagecraft, my friend. Like I said, smoke and mirrors.”

Rocco looked down at his crotch, where his oversized dick was fully hard and throbbing. He smiled. “I don’t think I could make my dick smaller even if I wanted to...”

The Bush shrugged. “Well, I could---”

“Ready for round three“, came an announcement over The Bush’s headset. “We need the doofus.”

“Intermission’s almost over. They need you“, The Bush said. “Let’s talk more, later. And remember, don’t tell anyone. Promise?”

Rocco grinned. “No problem, Mr. Bush.”


A mile away, on a little slope by the road, the stretch limo carrying Quint and his ladies had crashed into a tree.

One by one, the girls clambered out of the car, shooting pissed off glares from under their toppled wigs.

“There's a sign! 'Don't talk to the driver!'” one of the girls screamed.

“Now, girlfriend”, another one mumbled, adjusting her breasts. “That sign said nothing about PUNCHING the driver...”

The first girl ignored her. “Dickless asshole!” she yelled.

They watched the asshole in question make his way up to the street, wearing nothing but a “Juice My Nuts” t-shirt. No pants. No boots.

Quint felt the wind in his pubic hair as he marched back to the club. His balls were dangling below the empty space where his dick used to be, smacking against his thigh with every step.

In the distance, he heard the sound of police sirens drawing near.


“Fuck yeah, we’re back!” The Bush yelled into his microphone. “Round Three! Strike The Sack - brought to you by NutJuice!” The Bush looked at the can of NutJuice in his hand. He closed his eyes and mumbled something inaudible before emptying the can in one big gulp. He threw the can away and wiped his mouth, grimacing at the foul taste in his mouth. “NutJuice! 25% alcohol, 1% artificial coconut flavor, 110% fun!” he said in a strained, decidedly unenthusiastic voice.

The stage lights came up, revealing Rocco strapped to a chair, at the base of a large carnival game. The hairy stud was sitting at the bottom of a traditional “high striker.” The kind of game you hit with a mallet, to make a little puck fly up a tower and ring a bell.

In this version of the game, a wooden chair straddled the bullseye for the mallet. Rocco was sitting on it, with his hands tied behind his back, his chest strapped down, and his legs fastened to the chair. His nuts were fastened to the bullseye with a little leather strap, stretching them away from his body, and down to the bottom of his sack. That way, Rocco’s nuts were the bullseye. In order to ring the bell, Rocco’s nuts would have to be smashed flat by the hammer.

Rocco looked down at his crotch and chuckled. His big hairy balls had never looked bigger! He’d knocked back a few more cans of Nutjuice before getting strapped in, and had a dizzy, confident buzz that made his hard cock even harder.

“There’s one contestant left!” The Bush shouted. “And he’s in it to win it! Put your hands together for our last little cock - Hamster Dick!”

to be continued