Friday, July 24, 2020

Art by robustidol: Who was that?

This is a little story inspired by two awesome portraits created by robustidol. Check him out on twitter and follow him for more fantastic artwork!

Artwork created by robustidol

“Who was that?“ Archie barked through his gritted teeth.
It was the short, sweet moment when time stood still, right after the impact, right before the pain set in. It was a very short moment. Most men used it to make a funny face and think something smart like “Damn, this is gonna hurt…” or “Why me?”.

Archie used it to repeat the question.

“Who was tha---“

He didn’t make it to the question mark.

Then his eyes crossed and his face scrunched up in pain. His hands found the center of pain and he sank to his knees, grunting and groaning in agony.

The ball had hit him where it hurts most, square in the meat and two veg. The “meat” wasn’t the problem, though. Archie’s fat, thick snorkel had shriveled up in the cold water, curling up like a shy deepwater prawn in danger. It was the two large, round vegetables that had borne the brunt of the impact. The two juicy pieces had been flattened inside Archie’s skimpy, skin tight wet suit, flattening them against his huge, muscular body.

Archie’s ragtag band of thugs, the bulky, brawny boys that formed Team Aqua looked at him.

Nobody said a word.

Archie let out a guttural groan. “Who was th---“

He was interrupted by another powerful pokeball right to the nuts.

It didn’t what a pokeball was designed to do. But it did what any hard, solid ball that collides with a soft, very non-solid set of testicles does: It threatened to turn a beautiful, fat, fertile pair of fruit into a sore, swollen, seedless pair of fruit in an instant.

“Argh!” The sound that came out of Archie’s throat sounded very much like a pirate, even if it seemed to be caused by his testicles that were rammed up his throat.

One of his thugs let out a chuckle, quickly trying to mask it by coughing.

“Who was---“

Another ball hit Archie’s precious jewels, making him let out a soprano shriek.

Now three or four Team Aqua members couldn’t help but laugh.

“Who wa---“

When the next pokeball collided with Archie’s rapidly swelling nuts, everybody was roaring with laughter.

“Who w---“

Roaring laughter filled the beach, echoing from the cliffs and drowning out the sound of the sea gulls and the waves.


Another ball landed squarely in Archie’s crotch, making his eyes cross as he screamed from the top of his lungs, his voice cracking, his eyes filling with tears.

Archie’s thugs had never seen their boss in so much pain.

Everybody knew they boss was going to be mad as hell when this was over – but nobody cared. This was just too hilarious!


Archie collapsed on the ground, diving head-first into the sand, mercifully passing out from the pain in his nuts as the guys on the beach roared with laughter.

“Actually”, one of the thugs said after the laughter had died down. “Who was that?”

A moment later, a pokeball hit him in the nuts.

Artwork created by robustidol

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