Kick war (Mark meets Phil)

Special thanks to Tommy for the idea for this story! If you (yes, I mean you, the one who enjoys creating mean machines!) would like to meet the Ballbusting Boys and see yourself in a story please read this post for more details.

Artwork created by Champ

Featured in this story: Phil (click for pictures)

It was a classic moment, one that has happened to almost everybody who ever played soccer.
 
“Damn that’s gotta hurt!”
 
“Right in the junk!”
 
“Peanut butter time!”
 
Mark’s team mates were roaring with laughter as they tried to one-up each other with hilarious comments about the state of Mark’s reproductive organs after he had received a soccer ball straight into the groin.
 
Mark was 18 years old, a handsome young man of white and Hispanic ancestry, fit but slim like most soccer players, with very muscular legs. He was popular and well-liked in the team, a competitive guy with a great sense of humor.
 

Fortunately, the soccer ball had not hit Mark in the funny bone – he certainly hadn’t lost his sense of humor as he rolled around on the floor, cross-eyed, with a hilarious pain face that made his buddies laugh even harder as they continued making jokes about Mark’s predicament.
 
“Aww, your poor girlfriend!”
 
“I just texted her – she’d better charge up that vibrator…”
 
“I texted her, too! She told me to come over tonight…”
 
Mark’s buddies were screaming with laughter as Mark rolled back and forth on the grass.
 
They were in the middle of training, and everybody enjoyed a moment of levity to break up the tension and the hard work. Everybody except Mark, of course.
 
“You’ll sing soprano for a while, buddy!”
 
Mark’s team mates’ laughter reached new heights when Mark decided to spontaneously burst into song, breaking into a pitch-perfect falsetto rendition of disco classic “You Make Me Feel (Mighty Real)” – causing his team mates to break into fits of laughter.
 
Laughing the loudest was Phil, one of Mark’s best mates. 18 years old, like Mark, Phil was something of a soccer sensation, an immensely talented player with amazing ball control skills who rarely missed his mark.
 
That’s why Mark was instantly suspicious when Phil approached him with what seemed like a less than heart-felt apology.
 
“Sorry, mate”, the redhead said with an impish grin. “Looks like I missed.”
 
Mark chuckled. “You missed?”
 
Phil grinned. “You don’t think I hit your balls on purpose, do you?”
 
Mark looked at him, raising his eyebrows. “Why do I feel that there’s a joke coming here?”
 
Phil shrugged his shoulders, turning to his mates with an innocent smile. “You think I hit them on purpose? Mate, that target is way too small, even for me…”
 
Their team mates erupted in cheerful laughter, and even Mark chimed in.
 
“I’ll get you back for that, buddy”, Mark grinned, playfully nudging Phil’s shoulder.
 
Phil turned to him, spreading his legs and cocking his hips, pointing at his crotch with both of his hands in a lewd gesture as he shook his junk. “Bring it on, mate!” he yelled to cheers and laughter from his team mates.
 
Mark pretended to launch a full-force kick between Phil’s legs but he stopped short of impact, causing the whole group to erupt in riotous, good-natured laughter.
 
“Damn, mate”, Phil laughed. “You almost closed down the cream factory there…”
 
They hugged, laughing and joking, and continued with the training session.
 
This wasn’t the end of it, though.
 
Of course it wasn’t.
 
Everybody on the team knew that Mark was going to get revenge.
 
Mark was just waiting for an opportunity.
 
The opportunity came a few days later, in the showers.
 
The lads were all naked, in various states of soaped-up-ness.
 
Phil was out of shower gel, and Mark was only too happy to help…
 
“Hey, mate, can I borrow your---” Phil hadn’t even finished the question when the plastic shower gel bottle smashed into his bare balls with a wet splat that made everybody else erupt in riotous laughter.
 
“There you go, buddy”, Mark grinned as Phil’s eyes crossed and he let out a miserable moan as he grabbed himself, doubling over under the running shower.
 
“Thanks, mate”, Phil croaked, much to his team mates amusement.
 
“You’re welcome”, Mark chuckled as he left the showers, flexing his muscles with a cocky grin.
 
The kick war was on – and the whole team was having a blast watching Mark and Phil come up with increasingly hilarious ways to kick things into each others’ nuts.
 
On Monday, Phil kicked a training marker cone into Mark’s meatballs.
 
On Tuesday, Mark caused Phil to crotch himself on a hurdle.
 
On Wednesday, Phil found a way to smack Mark in the balls with his gym bag.
 
On Thursday, Mark lost his shoe on the field – and it landed right between Phil’s thighs.
 
On Friday, they had a day off, giving their testicles some much needed rest.
 
On Saturday, at a try-out, Phil told the opposing team’s captain that Mark had the hots for his girlfriend, resulting in several very painful encounters that left Mark with a severe limp and a pair of very sore testicles.
 
On Sunday, Mark retaliated by pouring itching powder into Phil’s training shorts. When Phil noticed the burning sensation, the team helped him by stomping his crotch one by one. Aterwards, Phil’s limp very much resembled Mark’s from the day before.
 
On Moday, Phil hid in Mark’s locker, only to punch him in the nuts as soon as he opened it.
 
On Tuesday, Mark pulled the same trick. Phil should have known something was wrong when his team mates stopped what they were doing when he entered the room. Unfortunately, he didn’t realize what was wrong until Mark’s fist connected with his crown jewels.
 
On Wednesday, Phil decided to go back to basics and kick a soccer ball into Mark’s nuts. Mark’s response came promptly, and the two young men managed to find several opportunities to deliver the ball into each other’s ball bags over the course of the day.
 
On Thursday, things took a rather hilarious turn when both Phil and Mark paid their team mates to assassinate each others’ testicles with various objects. Both Mark and Phil were victim to several sneak sack attacks, and their team mates proved to be inventive and industrious nutcrackers.
 
On Friday, they had a day off, giving their testicles some much needed rest.
 
On Saturday, after their next try-out match, their coach gathered the team for a stern talk.
 
The match not gone well, and he sensed that there was some kind of distraction that prevented the team from giving their best.
 
“It’s my bollocks”, Phil spoke up with a cocky grin. “Looks like Phil here just can’t concentrate on anything else.”
 
The team laughed.
 
“And mine as well”, Mark chimed in, putting his hands on his hips, striking a confident pose that bordered on provocative.
 
Coach’s eyes narrowed. “You think that this is funny, lads?”
 
Phil and Mark looked at him, barely able to keep a straight face.
 
“Actually, yes”, Mark shrugged his shoulders.
 
“Very funny”, Phil chimed in cheerfully.
 
Coach nodded his head. “I see.”
 
A few minutes later, he asked the question again. “Do you still think this is funny, lads?”
 
Both Phil and Mark were hanging from the soccer goal, upside down, their ankles attached to the crossbar, their hands tied behind their back. Their shirts were covering their faces, exposing their ripped abs.
 
“No, sir”, Phil mumbled.
 
His team mates snickered.
 
Mark decided to crack another joke. “I think I would be able to see what it looks like to render an informed opinion, sir.”
 
The riotous laughter from his team mates did very little to calm their coach.
 
“Alright”, coach said. “Somebody video this so Mark can render an informed opinion afterwards.” He emptied a bag of soccer balls on the green. “I’m gonna call it a day now. You decide whether you want to kick these balls at these jokers’ balls and have some more target practice. Or whether you want to go home.” He smiled. “I know you’ll make the right decision.”
 
Coach left, and his smile widened when he heard the soccer team cheer and laugh.
 
Phil and Mark’s crotches were the target for the rest of the day, and their team mates had a great time kicking soccer balls at their groins again and again and again.
 
After a while, they grew worried that Mark and Phil might pass out, so they untied them – but the pain wasn’t over.
 
They placed them on the ground, their legs spread wide apart, aiming straight for the nuts every single time.
 
The training session continued until the sun went down.
 
When the lads hit the locker rooms and everybody stripped naked, Mark and Phil received hoots and cheers and laughter. Their testicles were swollen and red, hilariously bloated.
 
The two handsome soccer players took it in stride, flexing their muscles and showing off for their team mates’ cameras in some very lewd poses.
 
“No hard feelings”, Mark grinned as he playfully nudged his buddy’s shoulder as they stood side by side in the showers.
 
Phil glanced down at their crotches, grimacing comically at the sight of their swollen, bruised ball bags. “Definitely not. Not for a very long time…”