Saturday, July 5, 2008

Fine print

Featured in this story: Chad and Alex (click for pictures)

My cameraman Chad and I looked at each other with suspicion in our eyes. I was sitting at the desk where my handsome cameraman had cracked my nuts just a few days ago.

He was sitting on the couch, eating his lunch.

“Everything alright?” I asked slowly.

“Sure”, Chad said.

“Great”, I replied and returned to the computer screen to read my emails, while occasionally glimpsing at Chad and making sure that he stayed where he was and didn’t come near my precious nuts.

Chad sighed and stood.

I stared at him.

“I’m finished”, he grinned. “I’m walking to the kitchen now.” He disappeared in the kitchen. “I’m washing the dishes”, he shouted, mocking me.

I looked at the screen again.

“I’m finished now. I’m coming into the studio again”, he shouted.

I rolled my eyes and tried to concentrate on the emails.

“I’m walking to the couch now”, Chad announced and sat down. “Ooops, sorry”, he continued and stood again. “I’m getting the camera now. Then I’ll be walking to the couch again.”

I tried to remain calm, while Chad walked across the room.

“Now”, Chad said. “I’m walking to the---“

“Could we please stop this?” I interrupted him, sounding more tense that I intended to let on.

Chad shrugged and grinned. “Sure, anytime you like.”


I breathed slowly and turned my eyes to the computer screen.

“Now, I’m---“

“Chad!” I interrupted him again.

Chad smiled.

I stood and walked towards him.

“What---“

I kicked his nuts hard. My sneaker-clad foot connected with the prominent bulge in Chad’s jeans, knocking the wind out of him.

Chad blinked and his eyes bulged.

I followed up with another hard kick to his tenderized testicles.

Chad yelped and doubled over. He was panting and grabbing his sore balls now.

“You’re grabbing your balls now”, I grinned.

Chad gasped for breath.

“Now you’re panting for air”, I continued. “Your nuts feel like they exploded. You fall to the ground now.”
Chad let out a miserable groan.

I started to feel pity for him, so I stopped this stupid children’s game.

“Fuck”, he whimpered in a high-pitched voice.

I chuckled.

Suddenly, he lunged at me and threw a vicious uppercut into my nuts.

I groaned and doubled over.

“I have a date tonight”, Chad said in a whiny voice, cupping his balls and groaning.

My pearls felt like they had been shattered by Chad’s vicious punch. I was wearing linen trousers today, which had offered next to nothing protection-wise.

“I didn’t know”, I whispered and comforted my aching manhood.

“I had a date tonight”, Chad massaged his nuts.

“Sorry”, I said hoarsely. “I didn’t know.”

"This is the third time..." Chad tried to straighten, but the pain was too great. He doubled over again and frowned at me. “Fuck! No nutshots on date nights!”

I moaned and rubbed my testicles. “Yeah, sure. But how am I supposed to know when you have a date?”
Chad looked at me. His face lightened up and he chuckled. Then he grimaced again. “Well, what about this: No nutshots for the next months.”

I groaned. “We’re called ‘Ballbusting Boys’, so---“

“No”, Chad interrupted me. “No nutshots between the two of us.” He paused to catch his breath and nurse his plums. “Deal?” He held out his right hand. His left was comforting his aching ballsack.

I moaned. “Deal.” I shook his hand with my right hand.

We sat down next to each other on the couch, none of us saying a word for about five minutes. We rubbed our sacs and moaned occasionally, otherwise we were silent.

Five minutes later, I had slightly recovered. Chad was still doubled over, his hands glued to his groin.

I got up from the couch. “Want some coffee?” I asked.

Chad groaned. He looked up at me. Then his eyes focussed on my equipment that was nicely displayed in my loose trousers.

I smiled and shook my head. “No nutshots for---“

Chad grabbed my balls and squeezed hard.

I yelped in pain and surprise and started to scream in a high-pitched voice, “No nutshots for---“
Chad squeezed harder, kneading my precious nuggets in his hand. He twisted my balls and let go. I sank to the ground in pain.

“We had a deal”, I whimpered.

“That was for ruining my night”, he groaned and doubled over again. “Now we’re even.”

I was lying next to his feet, my body exploding with pain that radiated from the two meaty orbs in my groin.

“Okay”, I croaked. “Okay. Okay.”

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