Monday, March 16, 2020

Celebrity shorts: Brandon Urie's voice trainer (written by Lee)

This is another delightful little celebrity story from our reader Lee (author of last month's Tom Daley's low hangers). I hope you enjoy is as much as I did! :-))

Brendon Urie was panicking inside as he called up Ryan Ross. However, his tone remained calm as he explained his dilemma: his famously high voice had been failing him of late and if only Ryan could help(well known for his creative solutions) , though it had been a decade since they'd parted ways. The next day, Ryan came."Nice to see you, Brendon, now let's get down to business. The way to do it is simple. First, take off your clothes."

"What?" Squeaked Brendon

"You heard me, now chop chop." Trembling at the slight cold, the sole surviving Panic! At The Disco band member complied. What followed was a gasp of awe. A coke can thick cock, about the length of Ryan's forearm was bouncing about. But what was underneath was even more jaw dropping. Two almost football sized gonads were hanging in a pendulous sack. Truth be told, Ryan had no plan till then and was just buying time. However, he knew then and there what to do. Wordlessly, he quickly grabbed the aforementioned organs and stuffed them into Urie's arse, ignoring his protestations and winces of pain. Then, he took a length of rope from his pocket and tied them there. Though the nuts weren't visible, the top of the sack was turning purple and it was clear from the singer's expression that his spuds were being squeezed. "Don't worry," said Ryan, "I'll do the rest at your concert tonight."

At that very concert, onstage, Ryan was worried. His high notes were coming and Ryan hadn't showed up. Suddenly he saw him, seated in the first row. Just as he opened his mouth, Ryan lifted his shirt. Three things happened-

1. Brendon got aroused. He got a boner, obviously, but his ass also clenched.

2. His balls, trapped in his hole, were squeezed further, turning to the consistency of jelly and now about as thin as paper

3. His voice rose three octaves to a squeak, just at the perfect time.

Then, Ryan unzipped his pants and flashed his dick.

The next time, he mimed punching his balls and moaning with pain.

Seated in the audience, he smiled. This was going to be a long long night.


Anonymous said...

Short and sweet and I really liked it.

Anonymous said...

Brendon Urie is a very funny and chill guy. Would love to see a story with him again but more chill and light hearted. We know he thinks nutshots are very funny because of say amen.
Maybe a story about he has a show at SNL and it's the first time he sings a song of his new album. But in the hour before the performance something happens and he gets hit in the nuts a lot. So when he sings it's really really high. But he actually can't sing that high unless he gets hit in the balls. So now he has to be smacked in the yoeyoes before every show :p

Felix said...

Thanks Andrew, you are as always very kind.
I entirely agree Anonymous, I personally found this story too short, as did Alex. If I get the time, I'll try to write more.

Anonymous said...

That's awesome. Thanks anyway

Anonymous said...

I like the low hanging element in both your stories! Can you write some more of that?

Felix said...

I wasn't planning to, but I'll put it in my black panther story (it'll require a slight rewrite). If that gets a favourable response then I'll try to make is a recurring thing.

Anonymous said...

When are you releasing your next story?

Felix said...

I'm most probably sending it today and another one tomorrow. However, I can't tell you when Alex will publish it. You'll have to ask him.

Anonymous said...

Do you know if there's any progress in the story? I'm really curious

Felix said...

Hi anon! I'm not sure what you mean. If you mean any updates on the expanded Brendon Urie story, then I'm afraid not. I don't think I have the inspiration to write it. If you mean any new stories, then I published one about Black Panther a while back and have a written a few more