Monday, December 14, 2015

Video links: Game show ballbusting - UK

That nut is about to get crushed.
Our next stop in our journey through the most painful game shows all over the world (after visiting Brazilthe Netherlandsthe United States (twice), Germany and Spain) is the United Kingdom, home of the Crown Jewels and a delightful little children's game called "Conkers" (we'll get to that in a moment).

The UK is world famous for its peculiarities and its quirky manners and customs, so it will come as no surprise that their game shows involve all kinds of quirky ways to hurt what Britains like to refer to as "bollocks"...

First up, we have a little clip that I found in my archives.

(Does anyone remember MarcUK's wonderful web site featuring m/m ballbusting clips? It was one of the first sites of interest back then, way before YouTube and Google and so on... Ahhh, memories...)

It has to be from the mid-Nineties or something. Apparently, there was something of a rivalry going on between two singers called Robbie Williams and Liam Gallagher. In this clip, two guys compete against each other, one representing Robbie, and the other one standing in for Liam. The host of the show hits them in the balls with golf balls. I can't say I understand the concept completely, but who am I to question a clip that features 17 precise golf ball nut shots?

Let's take a look at another clip. Again, I don't quite understand what is going on - but that's not necessary, is it? On Celebrity Juice, crazy Irish pop sensation Jedward made an appearance, and compete against the host in an "Elastic Band Ping-Sting Challenge" (I'm not sure if that's the original title...) wearing nothing but a pair of tighty whities with bullseyes painted on his nipples and his crotch. Skip to the 1 minute mark to watch one of the Jedward twins take a rubber band in the nuts. His face is priceless.

Like the rest of Europe, the United Kingdom is absolutely bonkers for football (the European variant elsewhere known as soccer). Last year, when the FIFA World Cup was taking place in Brazil, the Manchester radio station Capital FM filmed a little skit for their morning show that involved a professional beach soccer team, three hapless victims, and six broken bollocks. This wonderful little clip is called "Brazil Nuts".

Finally, let's talk about "Conkers". Apparently, it's a game children play in the UK. According to the all-knowing wikipedia, the players "take turns striking each other's conker until one breaks". That, of course, is perfect fodder for the "Pain Men" segment on the British show Balls Of Steel, where two whacky weirdos inflict pain on each other for the audience's entertainment. In this case, they pull their balls out of their pants and smash them with chestnuts on a string. Bare bollocks meet bare chestnuts on national television. You have to see it to believe it.

Pain Men Nut Conkers von stevanhogg
(skip to 2:50 and make sure you watch until the slow motion replay)

That's it for today. If you know of any shows in your home country or anywhere else that might be of interest please let me know by leaving a comment or sending me an email (

Thank you!


Signfres said...

The last one is very hot.

Alex said...

Thanks for your comment, Signfres! I'm glad you enjoyed the video! :-))