Wednesday, March 29, 2017

Video links: Money makes the balls go pwned (2)

I think it's fair to say that we're in a testicular recession. Prices for balls have never been so low.

In our last evaluation of nut prices (more than a year ago) we found prices ranging from $1 to $60 for a prime pair of testicles. That's $0,50 to $30 apiece. Quite a range, right?

Well, that was then. In our most recent study we found that prices (and balls) have plummeted to an all-time low. Maybe it's because everybody is selling, maybe it's because the bubble has finally burst and the market finally sees the male repruductive organs for what they really are: a pair of poorly sheltered and easily broken pendants, inconventiently placed at a critical juncture of the male body. They should be considered a liability rather than an asset.

It's no surprise that people are selling.

Here are some examples from the youtube, the global market leader in testicular damage.

Note: Of course, the following examples are absolutely representative and withstand scientific scrutiny of the highest order. As is common practice, they have been chosen to fit the narrative of this article. The margin of error is plus or minus $100, and BBBoys is not liable for any transactions that sell testicles below their true value. BBBoys encourages you to put your balls out there and find out what they're worth.

Here are a couple of wholesale nutshots for $1 per kick. Note the family (father and kids) in the background of the first clip. Maybe it would be a good idea to charge the audience for watching?

Do you think $12 is a reasonable price for a pair of high school balls?

The guy in the following clip probably has premium balls. He's charging $20 per kick. His nuts are totally worth the price.

Here's another guy charging $20 for a kick. Pain face and interview included.

Here's another guy who offers his balls for $20. Personally, I think he's pretty hot and he could probably charge more. I'd put his nuts in the $25 to $45 price range.

Another $20 nut shot for a guy who we've seen earlier. His prices are stable. Good for him.

Finally, we have an absolute outlier. The following guy takes 3 kicks in the nuts for 15 seconds of fame and a chance of winning $15.000. Again, this is an outlier. The high price probably has to do with the fact that we are talking about superman's balls here.

That's it for today. We'll keep a close eye on the market and give you an update if prices start to rise again.

If you have other useful information (preferrably relevant video clips) let us know by leaving a comment or sending me an email (

Thank you!


Toothpick said...

Just wanted to share some videos of balls getting crushed and nuts getting cracked
No particular theme

Alex said...

Thanks for sharing those video links with us, Toothpick! I love them! :-))