The nominees

Featured in this story: Ben, Chad, Colin, Danny, David, Kev, Leo, Parker, Simon, Tristan and the twins (click for pictures)

A few days ago Danny had called and suggested an Oscar party at our studio. We had invited all of our models and asked them to bring their friends as well.

So our studio was packed. We were 13 guys, including my cameraman Chad and me.

The blond twins Michael and Will had brought their friend Parker, a young indie looking guy with flaming red hair. Leo, our skater boy, had invited his buddy Tristan, a fellow skater that I had met during the casting of Jesid, our new boy, who had come as well. Then there was the Ballbusting Olympics Committee president Kev and vice presidents and dorm buddies Colin and Ben. Simon, the geeky but decidedly kinky bespectacled cutie had come on his own.

Danny, our cute struggling actor, was alone, too, although I had suggested that he bring his brother David, a cocky, self-centered dancer whose idea of fun was humiliating his brother.

Chad and I had bought some beverages and snacks and I had made sure to prepare everything for our ballbusting party game.

“I have made slips of paper with the name of every film that is nominated for an Oscar tonight”, I explained. “There are 24 categories and 58 films. We are 13 people so everyone gets 4 films and our 6 models will get 5 films . And the winner gets a nutshot by one of the losing nominees.”

The guys cheered and clapped.

“Okay”, I started, “let’s---“

I was interrupted by a voice behind me: “Sorry I’m late.”

I turned around and grinned. “That’s David, everyone. He’s Danny’s brother.”

“Hi everyone”, David said.

I heard Danny moan.

“Hello, dear brother”, David grinned. “Happy to see me?”

“Hi, David”, Danny replied. He looked miserable. “I thought you were busy?”

“Well, Alex invited me and I thought it would be nice…” David said.

“Okay, boys, let’s start the drawing. We are 14 people now, so everyone gets 4 films with 2 films remaining. Any volunteers?” I asked.

The boys were silent.

I looked over to David who was talking to Chad. Apparently Chad explained the rules to him.

David grinned and said: “Danny, wouldn’t you like to get the remaining two films? You’re a film insider, after all…”

Danny groaned.

“That’s settled, then, Danny will take six films, everybody else takes four”, David announced.

The guys chuckled and looked at Danny.

“Come on, Danny”, Will grinned.

Danny frowned at his brother. “Okay.”

The guys cheered and we started the drawing

These are the results:

List of all movies following. After that the story goes on...

La Corona	Alex
Mongol	Alex
Once	Alex
The Savages	Alex
August Rush	Ben
In the Valley of Elah	Ben
Katyn	Ben
Moya lyubov	Ben
Madame Tutli-Putli	Chad
12	Chad
Eastern Promises	Chad
Il Supplente	Chad
Across the Universe	Colin
Freeheld	Colin
Lars and the Real Girl	Colin
Le Mozart des pickpockets	Colin
Away from Her	Danny
Enchanted	Danny
Into the Wild	Danny
No Country for Old Men	Danny
Ratatouille	Danny
Norbit	Danny
Operation Homecoming: Writing the Wartime Experience	David
Persepolis	David
Sicko	David
There Will Be Blood	David
Atonement	Jesid
Charlie Wilson's War	Jesid
I Met the Walrus	Jesid
The Diving Bell and the Butterfly	Jesid
La vie en rose	Kev
Salim Baba	Kev
Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street	Kev
Taxi to the Dark Side	Kev
Beaufort	Leo
Peter & the Wolf	Leo
The Tonto Woman	Leo
Juno	Leo
3:10 to Yuma	Michael
Die Fälscher	Michael
I'm Not There	Michael
Michael Clayton	Michael
No End in Sight	Parker
The Golden Compass	Parker
Tanghi argentini	Parker
Transformers	Parker
Gone Baby Gone	Simon
Sari's Mother	Simon
Surf's Up	Simon
The Kite Runner	Simon
Elizabeth: The Golden Age	Tristan
The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford	Tristan
The Bourne Ultimatum	Tristan
War Dance	Tristan
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End	Will
American Gangster	Will
Même les pigeons vont au paradis	Will
Om natten	Will

"So what does that mean?" Colin asked when we had finished. "You know, I haven't even heard about most of these movies... 'Freeheld'? 'Mozart... something'? I mean - what?!"

"It means that your nuts are pretty safe", Danny groaned. "And I have 'No country for old men'. I'm the frontrunner..."

David grinned. "You should be happy, Danny. For once your name is attached to a really good movie and not some sleazy schlock..."

Will walked over to Danny and patted his back. "You got 'No country'. But you also got 'Norbit'. Do you really think that one is gonna get an Oscar?"

David laughed. "Well, maybe not an Oscar. But it won three Razzies yesterday. Do they count, too?" he asked innocently.

"What?" Danny looked at his brother.

"Well, your movie won. So maybe we should have a little warm up..." David grinned.

Danny shook his head. "No way!"

David looked at the rest of the guys. "What do you think? Should we start by congratulating Danny for 'Norbit''s win at the Razzies?"

Kev, Colin and Ben, the cocky jockboys, started to clap and cheer. The others grinned and watched the sibling dynamic unfold.

Danny shook his head wildly. "No way!" he repeated.

David looked at the jockboy trio. Kev, Colin and Ben cheered louder.

"Go for it, Dave!" Kev shouted.

"Spread 'em, Danny!" Colin chimed in.

"Fuck!" Danny mumbled.

"Go on, brother, spread your legs", David grinned.

Danny looked at me with a sad expression in his eyes. I shrugged. David sighed and grabbed his crotch. He adjusted the big package that was hiding inside his tight jeans. The outline of his dick and the two juicy balls below were clearly visible through the denim.

Danny looked at his brother and sighed. "Go for it."

"Yay!" Kev shouted. Colin and Ben cheered and the rest of the boys joined in.

David turned to his audience and asked: "From the front or from behind?"

"Behind!" Will shouted.

David walked behind Danny who braced himself for the impact.

"This is for 'Worst Actor'", David grinned and kicked Danny's nuts hard. His shoe connected with Danny's precious nuggets, smashing them with the instep and crushing them with a dull thud.

Danny's scream was drowned by the guy's cheering and clapping. He grabbed his injured balls and doubled over.

David chuckled. "I love this game!"

Danny coughed and moaned. "Fuck, you got them good."

His brother grinned. "I know..."

"Okay", I said. "Let's concentrate on the Oscars now..."

"But 'Norbit' has won more Razzies than just 'Worst Actor', it won 'Worst Supporting Actor' and 'Worst Supporting Actress', too", Danny protested.

"Well, save the kicks for some other time", I suggested. "It's Oscar night and the show is about to begin..."

"Okay." David grinned at his brother. "Well, I'm rooting for the Coen brothers..."