From stud to dud: BUZZZ!

Very special thanks to Chadfan! We co-wrote this story and had a great time exchanging emails and tossing ideas back and forth. This story is a bit different from the rest of my work, and I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

Previously on “From stud to dud”:

Meet the characters (incl. pictures)

CRUNCH!

zzzZZZzzz!

Title credit: I read the phrase "From stud to dud" first in pooiu's 2010 f/m story Busting League: Day 1. Check out his excellent story blog Busted Spuds. 

Rocco looked in the mirror while he was drying his naked body off with a towel.

He looked great. His handsome, chiseled face with his dark eyes and his three day stubble was as attractive as ever. His black hair was full and thick. His hairy chest was well-defined and muscular. His arms with the bulging biceps looked awesome. His abs were a perfect eight-pack. He looked great.

But he didn’t feel great.

The 31 year old stud looked down at his groin and sighed. The swelling in his huge, hairy balls had gone down, and they had almost resumed their natural color again. But his enormous, fat cock was a different matter.

Rocco let out a grunt and pulled at the white bandages that were wrapped around his huge limp tool.

He had been feeling restless and uneasy and awkward and uncomfortable all week, ever since he crunched his nuts in the vise. Ah, the vise. Rocco grinned. That had been pretty awesome. He remembered his huge, fat balls looking like pancakes between the jaws of the vise. He chuckled. He didn’t remember much after that. When he had woken up, he found himself sitting on the couch, his balls all sore and bruised and feeling funny, and his dick wrapped in bandages.

Rocco looked at himself in the mirror and let out a laugh. That big, gauze-wrapped tube dangling between his legs looked pretty funny. If he met someone looking like this in the locker room he’d make fun of him. “Hey, what’s up, broke your dick?” he would holler. Or: “Wait, I’ll get you a crutch for your cock!”



Rocco chuckled, imagining his friends laughing at that. Pretty funny. He grabbed his limp, floppy dong and wiggled it. His smile vanished. Damn. He was so fucking horny. He felt like he wanted to hump anybody, anything that got in his way. He hadn’t gone a day without shooting his load since he was a teenager. And from the top of his head he couldn’t remember a day he had shot less than two loads in the last few years.

For Rocco, there were different kinds of loads.

There was the useful load. Like, when you couldn’t sleep. You rubbed one out and you slept like a baby. It worked best at night. But he had employed the useful load on Sunday mornings, too, usually after coming home from a party or after having sex when the girl fell asleep right away and one load hadn’t been enough for him.

There was the avoid-embarrassment load. Like, when you had a boner at a family get-together. You got into the bathroom and jerked off into the toilet boil. One flush, and everything is fine, at least for an hour or so.

There was the feel-good load. Like, in the shower in the morning. Your beautiful erection stared at you and you felt like giving yourself a little treat. You had to be careful about cleaning up afterwards, though, because otherwise your housemates were busting your balls all day…

There was the risky load. Like, when you jerked off on a bus or in a train, or in a movie theater or in church.

And the prank load. Like, when you jerked off on your housemate’s toothbrush. Or on his bagel. Or in his beer.

Then there was the sex load. Of course. That one was nice, too. And the accidental load, the target-practice load, the humiliating load, the show-off load, the contest-winning load, the drive-by-shooting load and---

Rocco inhaled deeply.

He was so fucking horny! But at the same time he didn’t feel horny at all! At least his monster cock didn’t feel horny. It was crazy!

Rocco tugged at his dick in frustration and left the bathroom. He walked down the stars, stark naked. He liked to be naked. He used to like it even better when his enormous dick was rock-hard and dripping precum all over the floor.

He entered the living room.

Captain Crunch, Rocco’s Rottweiler, was sleeping in a corner, a big rubber bone between his paws.

Rocco’s housemates, Shawn and Bucky were entwined on the couch, passed-out, both of them sporting boners. They weren’t as big as Rocco’s used to be, of course.

Shawn’s pathetic dick barely even looked erect. It was very difficult to tell due to the miniscule length of it. But Rocco could tell from the angle.

Naturally, Bucky’s cock was bigger than Shawn’s – whose wasn’t? –  but still it was nowhere near Rocco’s majestic size. But it was hard, too.

And Rocco’s wasn’t.

Rocco let out a grunt. He looked at Shawn’s and Bucky’s faces. They looked like sleeping angels, their heads close together, their lips slightly parted.

Oh, damn, this was so begging for a prank load! A perfect situation! Rocco pictured himself tugging at his dick a couple of times and splattering his buddies’ faces with cum, like he had done so many times. He pictured Shawn’s reaction when he woke up, tasting Rocco’s salty semen on his tongue, barely able to open his eyes because they were glued shut by Rocco’s sticky load. He’d curse and laugh and curse and laugh. And Bucky would just grin in that lazy stoner way of his.

Rocco looked down at his huge, limp, bandaged cock. Useless fucking thing. He couldn’t wait until it worked again. He’d hose down the house with his spunk!

Rocco’s eyes fall on a stack of porn magazines on the floor. Shawn’s biker mags. Big tits, big machines. Lots of tattoos, some of them made by Shawn.

Rocco listlessly tugged at his limp, floppy dick. Next to the magazines was a DVD. More big tits. The title sounded promising.

He was so damn horny!

Rocco sighed and put the DVD in the player. He pushed his friends over on the couch, causing Bucky’s head to sink down into Shawn’s lap.

Rocco sat down next to them.

The movie started. Naked girls. Big tits jumping up and down. A big cock entering the picture. Penetration.

Rocco tried to focus on the action. Somehow it felt different than usual. It was as if the stuff he saw didn’t push the right buttons. Hell, under normal circumstances, he would be jerking his fat, hard dick like crazy. Under normal circumstances, his first load would already be soaking into the carpet. But this wasn’t normal. It just wasn’t. He felt his cum boiling in his balls but his fucking dick didn’t seem to notice.

Rocco grimaced and grabbed his big, churning balls, staring at the screen.

More tits. More cocks. More penetration.

Rocco skipped the scene and moved on to the next.

More tits. More cocks. More penetration.

Damn, there had to be something on this fucking DVD that turned him on!

An orgy. More tits. More cocks. More penetration.

Rocco sighed in frustration.

Rocco started squeezing his balls. He was yearning to feel something. Anything. He dug his thumb into his nuts until his fingertips went white. A dull, throbbing pain flooded through his body. Ahhh! At last! He kneaded his nuts hard, twisting them, squeezing them, squishing and squashing them with his fingers while tugging at his dick.

Rocco had been busy working his junk, squeezing his nuts and tugging at his limp dick, for more than five minutes when Shawn woke up.

The 31 year old redhead opened his rheumy eyes, stretching his limbs. He scratched his fuzzy beard and looked down at his lap where Bucky’s mouth was dripping saliva onto his groin. He let out an annoyed grunt and shoved his buddy away.

Bucky let out a groan and leaned his head on the armrest, snoring loudly.

Shawn’s sleepy eyes wandered to Rocco who was squishing and squashing his balls while tugging at his floppy, bandaged cock.

“How’s it hanging, dickhead”, Shawn grinned.

Rocco glanced at him and grumbled something unintelligible.

Shawn grinned. “You having problems with your monster cock?”

“Fuck”, Rocco grunted. “It won’t get hard.”

Shawn burst out laughing. “What?! That fat fucking cock is disobedient?!”

Rocco glared at him. “That’s what I’m telling you.”

Shawn chuckled. “Damn, that’s a bummer.” He looked at the TV screen. “Oh, that’s a classic! It does nothing for you?”

“Nothing”, Rocco muttered.

“What a bummer”, Shawn repeated.

Rocco banged the back of his head against the back rest of the couch. “I’m so fucking horny!” he yelled through his clenched teeth.

“Has it ever happened before?” Shawn grinned, looking at Rocco’s junk. He took the tip of Rocco’s limp cock between his thumb and forefinger and lifted the heavy, meaty tube up before letting it fall down again, bursting out laughing.

“What?! Never!” Rocco grunted.

Shawn chuckled. “Maybe it’s a mental thing.”

Rocco stared at him.

Shawn thought for a moment. Then his face lit up. “I have an idea”, he grinned. “Stand up, turn around and close your eyes.” He got up and stumbled out of the room.

Rocco looked after him, a confused expression on his face. Then he did as he was told.

Shawn returned a minute later, carrying something.

Rocco turned his head.

“Don’t look!” Shawn said. “Keep your eyes closed. Or it doesn’t work.”

Rocco rolled his eyes.

“Do you want a boner or not?” Shawn said, raising his eyebrows.

Rocco sighed and faced the wall again, closing his eyes.

Shawn grinned. He knelt down and strapped a leather collar with a bulky black box around Rocco’s balls.

He stepped back and looked at Rocco’s collared nutsack. This was going to be good.

“Okay, keep your eyes closed. Relax. I want you to picture yourself with a raging hard-on, okay? A first class boner, okay?” Shawn said, grinning with anticipation and suppressing the urge to laugh out loud.

Rocco inhaled deeply. He saw his big, hard monster of a cock. He smiled. Beautiful.

“Do you have a picture?” Shawn asked.

Rocco smiled. “Oh, yeah.”

“Describe it to me”, Shawn said, trying to stay serious.

“It’s beautiful”, Rocco mumbled. “It’s hard as a rock. Hard as steel. The head is wet. The shaft, too. I see the veins. It’s beautiful.”

“Is it close to cumming?” Shawn asked before biting his hand to stop himself from laughing.

“It is”, Rocco continued with a smile. “It’s throbbing and twitching. The load is rising.”

“Is it a big load?”

“A huge one! A flood! It’s rising and rising. My dick is throbbing like hell. Here it comes! Here it---“

BUZZZZZZZZZ!

Rocco let out an agonized roar, his body convulsing as his balls exploded with pain.

Shawn kept his finger on the remote control, sending shock wave after shock wave through Rocco’s testicles, laughing his ass off.

Rocco was screaming from the top of his lungs, collapsing on the ground.

Shawn let go of the button, crying with laughter.

Bucky opened his eyes. He looked at Shawn who sank to his knees, holding his belly, laughing like a maniac. Then he saw Rocco, lying on the ground, an electric dog collar tied around his nutsack. The air was filled with the scent burned hair. The pubic hair on Rocco’s sack had vanished, and his big, red balls were smoking slightly.

“What the fuck, dude!” Bucky said, a horrified expression on his face.

Shawn slapped his knees, crying with laughter.

“Did you use the Alpha 3000?! I told you that it was dangerous! It’s much too powerful for dogs! That’s why they pulled it off the market! I told you it would fry anything smaller than a bear!” Bucky yelled.

Shawn looked at Rocco, tears of laughter running down his face. “Hey, big guy, you okay?”

Rocco let out a deep groan.

Shawn pointed at Rocco’s balls and burst out laughing again. “Well, look at the bright side, big guys – at least your mind is off sex for a while, right?”

---

The next couple of days were a lot of fun for Shawn. He had a great time helping Rocco keep his mind off sex and curb his constant horniness.

Shawn had managed to convince Bucky that this was in Rocco’s best interest, and had reworked the collar so that it fit better on Rocco who had been wearing it 24/7 for almost one week.

Every couple of hours, when he noticed that Rocco was getting restless, Shawn would push the button, frying Rocco’s nuts and making him yell and scream and curse. He kept the remote on him at all times. You never knew when Rocco needed help, right?

On Friday, the three buddies went to the bar and had a couple of beers.

“Skinny Dick’s Halfway Inn” was Shawn’s favorite bar. It was a small place right down the road, next to next to the strip club. The room was filled with people, mostly men in their thirties, forties and fifties.

Bucky, Rocco and Shawn were sitting at a table. They had already finished the fifth round of beer.

“You looking forward to tomorrow, big guy?” Shawn grinned.

Rocco sighed. “Fuck yeah! I can’t wait to get those bandages of my cock.”

Bucky smiled at him.

“You know, we should really celebrate the occasion, right?” Shawn said.

“Fuck, yeah”, Rocco nodded emphatically.

“Party games and all”, Shawn continued, grinning. “Maybe even get the old Wheel of Fortune out again like we did on your birthday.”

Rocco grinned, remembering the sloppy fun he and his buddies had with the three hot strippers. “Yeah, that was fun!”

Shawn grinned. “Cool. Let’s do it!”

Rocco chuckled. “Man, I can’t wait to see my dick again!”

Bucky glanced at Shawn.

Shawn grinned. “Yeah, we’re all looking forward to that…”

“Who knows, dude”, Bucky added with a smile. “Maybe your little problem will be gone, too.” He made a gesture with his index finger, extending it before letting the tip sink down.

Shawn let out a laugh. “His ‘little problem’? Seems like a pretty big problem to me…” Shawn grinned, patting Rocco’s shoulder.

Rocco grinned weakly. “I gotta go take a piss.” He headed towards the men’s room, walking slightly bowlegged. Even though Bucky had modified the dog collar it wasn’t exactly comfortable. In addition to that, his balls were pretty swollen from Shawn’s easy finger…

Shawn and Bucky looked after him.

Shawn chuckled and reached into the pocket of his skin-tight jeans, producing the little black remote control with the red button. He winked at Bucky and put his finger on the button.

“Dude”, Bucky said. “Don’t.”

“You’re right”, Shawn grinned. He looked like mischievous school boy who couldn’t wait to see his teacher sit down on the sponge. “Let’s wait a couple of seconds until he’s got his cock out! He’ll be pissing all over the place!”

“No, dude, no”, Bucky said. “Have you noticed the way he’s walking? It’s enough man.”

Shawn rolled his eyes. “Fuck you, dickhead.” He looked at the remote.

“No”, Bucky said firmly and reached for the little black plastic thing.

Shawn grabbed the remote and lifted it up into the air.

“Dude”, Bucky said, glaring at him. “It’s not funny anymore.” He reached for the remote but Shawn pulled it away and took it into his other hand.

Bucky sighed.

“You don’t think it’s funny?” Shawn grinned.

Bucky reached for the remote again but Shawn pulled it away and held it behind his back.

Bucky was close to losing his temper. “Give it to me”, he said sternly.

Shawn grinned and shoved it down the front of his pants. “Why don’t you get it yourself, dickhead?”

Bucky looked at Shawn’s crotch. His big, round balls were compressed by his skin-tight jeans, looking he had stuffed two oranges into his jeans. Above them, he made out the outline of the remote control.

“Fuck you”, Bucky said. He turned around and walked off, making his way through the crowd. Midway through he stopped and turned around. “By the way, dude”, he said in a loud voice. “I know you aren’t happy with your tiny dick. It looks like you finally got a big tool in your pants.”

Shawn blushed and looked at his crotch, his mammoth testicles and the little remote control above it.

The people surrounding him burst out laughing and pointing at his groin.

“Dickhead!” Shawn shouted. He turned around, grabbed his beer, emptied it and slammed the bottle onto the table.

Bucky walked out the door right next to the men’s room into the small alley behind the bar. The ground was littered with cigarette stubs. He reached inside his pocket and produced a joint. He lit it and inhaled deeply.

He watched the smoke come out of his mouth. Fucking Shawn. He just didn’t know when to stop. The dog collar was a step too far. Bucky hadn’t been to happy with Shawn’s little “surprise” that waited for Rocco when he’d finally remove his bandages but he had gone along with it. But this was a step too far.

Bucky took another hit from the joint and closed his eyes, leaning against the wall.

In the men’s room, Rocco was staring at his bandaged dick. Pissing was tricky. He had to be careful not to soak the gauze. Oh, he couldn’t wait to remove the bandages. To finally see his big, fat dick in all its glory again! As soon as those damn bandages were off and his dick was able to get hard again, he’d lock himself in his room and jerk off for days! Days!

When he was finished, Rocco stuffed his huge cock into his trousers again. That was tricky, too. His huge, swollen balls and the dog collar took up a lot of room. Rocco chuckled. Thank god his dick wasn’t hard or he’d never get it into his pants… He was rummaging around when he heard a familiar voice.

“Hey, how are you?”

Rocco turned around. Troy and Quint. They played on Rocco’s baseball team. Troy was a muscular guy with short brown hair and a lot of tattoos all over his body. Quint was like his sidekick, a handsome blond stud with a short, bristly beard, more clean-cut than Troy.

Troy blatantly looked at Rocco’s junk. “What’s up with that?”

Rocco grimaced. “Accident.”

Troy looked at Quint and started laughing.

Quint joined in.

“An accident?!” Troy turned to Rocco. “What – did you finally meet a pussy that’s too tight for your huge fucking dick?”

Rocco grinned. “I’ll tell you all about it at training.”

Troy chuckled. “Can’t wait to hear that story…” He looked down at Rocco’s limp cock and chuckled. “Man, how long has your dick been wrapped up like that?”

Rocco grimaced. “More than a week.”

Troy burst out laughing. “Holy fuck! So you weren’t able to fuck, right? Had to rely on the old do-it-yourself method from highschool…” He made a lewd gesture with his hand that made Quint chuckle.

Rocco cleared his throat and finally managed to stuff his junk into his pants. Very carefully, he closed the buttons and turned to go.

“See you around”, Troy said, taking Rocco’s place at the urinal.

Rocco nodded and left the men’s room.

He looked to the side and saw Bucky standing outside, passing around his joint to a group of two hot girls and a handsome guy, all of them blond and in their early twenties. One of the girls was fondling Bucky’s hair, whispering something into his ear. The guy was on Bucky’s other side, running his hand over Bucky’s chest. The other girl was fumbling with Bucky’s belt buckle.

When Bucky saw Rocco, he waved at him. “Hey, dude!”

Rocco smiled. He looked into the bar. Someone had started a fight. Bar stools were flying and people were shouting. He saw the bouncer grabbing someone by the neck and pulling him out through the front door.

Rocco turned to Bucky again and walked over. “Hi”, he grinned. “Making new friends?”

Bucky grinned, taking another hit from the joint. “These are Anna, Frida and Björn. Say hi to my buddy Rocco.”

The three blonds smiled. “Hi, Rocco”, they said in unison.

“They’re from Sweden”, Bucky grinned, passing the joint to Björn who licked his lips and winked at Bucky.

Inside the bar, at the center of the fight, Shawn was throwing a fist at the bouncer, missing his face and stumbling forward. “Fuck you, dickhead!”

“Calm down, fucker”, the bouncer said in a deep voice. He was a black man in his late forties. Everything about him was huge: his muscular arms and legs, his paw-like hands, his boot-clad feet, and almost ridiculously big bulge in his crotch. He was wearing black jeans and a black t-shirt with the bar’s name on it that was stretched by his big belly. His head was bald and his nose looked like it had been broken on several occasions.

A crowd had formed around Shawn and the bouncer, screaming and shouting as Shawn staggered at the bouncer and tried to kick him in the groin.

For a man this big, the bouncer was moving surprisingly quickly. He avoided Shawn’s testicle-threatening attack and spun him around, pulling up his hand behind his back.

“Time to go”, the bouncer grunted and pushed Shawn towards the door.

“Fuck you, dickhead!” Shawn screamed in a drunken furor. “I’ll kick your fucking ass!”

One of the other patrons opened the door and the bouncer threw Shawn out onto the street.

The bouncer rubbed his hands. “Go home”, the bouncer said. He turned around to go back into the bar.

Shawn got up and stumbled towards him. He brought his foot back and sent it flying into the bouncer’s balls from behind. Shawn’s foot connected with the big mound with a resounding thud.

The patrons inside the bar let out a collective “Ooooooh.”, cringing and cupping their groins in sympathy.

The bouncer let out an annoyed grunt. Seemingly unfazed, he turned around and stared at Shawn who was hopping up and down like a manic lightweight boxer at his first prize fight.

“You trying to make me angry?” the bouncer growled slowly.

Shawn spat at him. “Fuck you, dick---“

He was interrupted by a hard, sudden kick to his crotch that lifted him off his feet. The bouncer’s boot slammed into his crotch, the tip of his foot catching Shawn’s package dead on.

In the alley, Rocco was leaning against the wall, flirting with Anna while Bucky was making out with Frida and Björn.

Suddenly, Rocco’s body convulsed and he let out an agonized grunt.

BUZZZ!

Rocco’s balls felt like they had exploded. He let out a gurgling groan and doubled over in pain.

In front of the bar, Shawn was cupping his crotch, moaning in pain. He looked up at the bouncer with a manic expression in his eyes. With an angry grunt, he lunged at him again, only to receive another hard, agonizing kick to his big, plump balls.

BUZZZ!

Rocco let out an anguished grunt and fell to his knees, his hands finding his crotch and cupping his huge, tender testicles.

Shawn got up and ran towards at the bouncer, screaming from the top of his lungs, running crotch-first into his knee.

BUZZZ!

Rocco threw his head back, groaning in agony, as another wave of electricity shocked his huge, meaty balls.

Shawn seemed to be in a state of trance. Despite the pain in his nuts he jumped at the bouncer again, receiving another hard kick to his balls.

BUZZZ!

Rocco grunted in pain, clutching his nuts, his body shaking, his eyes slowly rolling back into his head.

Shawn limped towards the bouncer and raised his hands. Before even clenching his fists, the bouncer kicked him in the nuts as hard as he could, making Shawn shriek from the top of his lungs.

BUZZZ!

Rocco let out an agonized roar, his body convulsing as he fell to the side.

BUZZZ!

Anna, Frida and Björn watched him, amused expressions on their faces. Björn adjusted his crotch, grinning.

BUZZZ!

Bucky stared at his buddy, his mind slowly trying to piece together what was going on.

BUZZZ!

The crowd inside the bar was watched the fight between Shawn and the bouncer. It was obvious whose side they were on. Every kick to Shawn’s crotch brought an eruption of cheers and applause.

BUZZZ!

Shawn kept screaming obscenities, grimacing in pain but refusing to give up. He stumbled towards the bouncer again.

BUZZZ!

Shawn’s voice cracked and he tumbled backwards, falling on his ass. “Fucking dickhead!” he whimpered.

The bouncer shook his head in disbelief. He stood in front of Shawn, lifted his foot back and stomped down on Shawn’s crotch hard, crunching his nuts under his soles and twisting his foot as if he was stomping out a cigarette, making sure to landing a truly devastating blow to Shawn’s chances of ever fathering children.

There was a sick sound of plastic cracking as Shawn’s eyes opened wide and turned inwards. He let out a retching cough and collapsed on the ground.

BUZZZZZZ-zzzzz-ZZZZZ-zzz-ZZZZZZZ---zzzzzz-ZZZZZZ!

Rocco’s eyes were almost popping out from his skull. He was yelling hoarsely, writhing on the ground, his legs kicking, his hands clasping his bulge so hard that his knuckles were all white.

Blue sparks and smoke was emanating from Rocco’s crotch between his fingers and white, bubbly froth came out of his mouth.

Bucky stared at him, frozen. “Shit”, he finally mumbled. He ran inside and grabbed a pitcher of beer from the nearest table before rushing back outside and emptying its contents on Rocco’s crotch.

BUZz-blbbbshhhhh.

The electric sound stopped.

Rocco eyes twitched and his body relaxed. He was breathing heavily, his eyes closed.

Suddenly his eyes opened wide and he stared at Bucky and the three Swedes. Then his eyes slowly moved towards his crotch.

There was the almost inaudible but unmistakable “bzt” sound of a short circuit.

Bucky and the Swedes looked at the huge, prominent bulge in Rocco’s groin.

“Bucky”, Rocco whispered hoarsely. “Fuck--- I think--- My balls---”

FOOM!

Suddenly Rocco's crotch burst into flames, bathing the dark alley in the warm and comforting light of a bonfire.

Rocco looked down at his flaming crotch, his eyes wide open in horror.

As if by instinct, Björn lifted his hiking boot clad foot up, and started to put out the fire, fiercely stomping down on Rocco's flaming crotch.

Again and again Björn’s foot slammed into Rocco’s crotch, flattening the huge bulge.

Rocco was paralyzed, his mouth wide open in a silent scream, staring at his groin, his eyes twitching.

With a final, brutal twist of his foot, Björn made sure that the fire was out.

Slowly, very slowly, Rocco looked up at Björn.

Björn turned to Bucky and smiled, self-confidently adjusting his crotch. “I’m with the fire department in Sweden.”

Bucky stared at him. “Well… Good work, dude… I guess…”

Rocco’s eyes rolled back into his head and he curled up in the fetal position, clutching his balls.

Bucky inhaled deeply. Fucking Shawn. Where was that son of a bitch?!

He went into the bar, looking around.

The patrons had returned to their places.

Bucky saw a familiar face standing near the door. He made his way through the bar and stood next to the bouncer.

“Hey, Al”, Bucky said, continuing to scan the room for his buddy. “How’s it going, dude?”

Al’s face lit up. “Hey, doc! Nice to see you”, he said in his deep bass voice. “It’s been a while, right?” He smiled at Bucky, running his hand over his bald head.

“A month, I think”, Bucky said. Shawn was nowhere in sight. “How is Ladybug?”

Al shrugged. “You know how they are. Always landing on their feet.” He bit his lower lip. “But I was thinking… We should come by soon for a follow-up, right?”

“Anything wrong with her?” Bucky asked.

“No, actually.” Al cleared his throat. “But--- I really think she needs to see you…”

Bucky grinned. “Sure.”

Al’s face was beaming with joy. “Great, man. Great!”

“Listen”, Bucky said. “Have you seen Shawn?”

Al’s face darkened. He pointed at the door.

“Oh”, Bucky said slowly.

Al nodded. “Tried to kick my nuts.”

“Shit, dude”, Bucky said, taking a step back and looking at Al’s crotch. “You hurt?”

Al grinned. “Nah.” He knocked his knuckles at his groin, eliciting a dull, hollow sound. “I’m protected.”

Bucky chuckled. “Good for you, dude.” He headed out the door into the street.

“See you soon, doc!” Al shouted.

The door closed behind Bucky. It took a little while until Bucky had found Shawn.

The drunk redhead was lying in the parking lot, curling up in a little ball, clutching his crotch, gibbering incoherently.

“What the fuck, dude?” Bucky exclaimed.

“Hey”, Shawn turned his head, grimacing in pain but grinning weakly.

“Give me the remote, dude”, Bucky demanded, extending his hand.

Shawn reached inside his jeans and started pulling out pieces of plastic, grimacing in pain.

“Rocco is back there, out cold, dude”, Bucky said. “You totally fried his nuts! I mean, sparks and smoke and shit. And the smell, dude! Like someone burnt a steak!”

Shawn laughed before groaning and cupping his balls in pain. “Awesome”, he croaked.

Bucky stared at him. “Shawn! You should have seen it! Rocco’s junk burst into flames!”

“What? Really? Fucking awesome!” Shawn burst out laughing, which made the pain in his nuts even worse. He curled up on the floor, laughing and groaning. “That was totally worth it! Totally fucking worth it!”