Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Double down

Featured in this story: ChadErikVince and Alex (click for pictures)

Today was an unusually slow day. There was no shooting scheduled, no editing left to do, there were no business partners to pamper and no applicant’s to put to the test. It was a slow day.

I was sitting in a chair next to Erik who was taking a nap on the couch. It had proven to be a good decision to hire the cute 19 year old blond as my new assistant. He seemed to get along quite well with the rest of the team, cameraman Chad and prep guy Vince. He was a quick learner and effective worker. And he was a very effective ballbuster who found surprisingly successful ways of torturing out testicles.

But today was a slow day, and Erik seemed to be tired of busting out balls.

He was dozing on the couch while I was reading a magazine.

I looked up and saw that Chad and Vince were approaching on tip-toes. I smiled at them. Now Erik was going to get what he deserved.

Chad gestured wildly, trying to convince me to join in on the action. I just smiled and shook my head. Frankly, I was fine with Chad and Vince doing the dirty work. I knew that Erik was going to seek revenge, and I had no intention of getting caught in the cross-hairs…

Both Chad and Vince looked disappointed. I shrugged and focused on the magazine while watching them sneaking up on Erik.

“You take his feet, I take his arms”, Chad mouthed. “Then we’ll crack his nuts.”



Vince nodded.

Erik let out a sleepy grunt, causing both Chad and Vince to stop in mid-motion.

They anxiously waited for a couple of seconds.

When Erik didn’t move, Chad grinned at Vince and signaled thumbs-up.

Vince nodded.

Suddenly, Erik moved. He straightened as quickly as an elastic spring and his arms shot out towards the two would-be-assailants’ crotches. He grabbed the two bulging baskets with his hands and squeezed hard.

Neither Chad nor Vince had wasted any thoughts on proper protection so they hadn’t brought their cups – which proved to be quite a very painful error… Chad was wearing sweatpants and Vince was wearing slacks, and neither of those were designed to safeguard the precious jewels they were hiding.

“Got ya!” Erik yelled cheerfully, his hands tightening around his co-workers’ valuables.

Two shocked yelps indicated that Erik did indeed have both of them by the balls. With a triumphant laugh, Erik turned his wrist, twisting the two sets of nuts, and making both Vince and Chad howl in agony.

“You thought you could sneak up on me, huh?” Erik grinned, twisting his hands in the other direction, making Chad let out a surprised grunt while Vince’s eyes were slowly crossing.

“Maybe even bust my balls, huh?” Erik continued, yanking down hard with both of his hands.

Vince looked like a character from a comic-strip, squint-eyed and cross-legged, while Chad was making animal noises, grunting and snorting like a buffalo in heat.

“No-oh, sorry guys”, Erik grinned, pulling upwards so that Chad and Vince stood on their tiptoes, yodeling in pain.

I saw his muscles flexing as he squeezed the two tender lumps in his hands as hard as he could. Vince looked like he was on the verge of puking and Chad sounded like he’d probably follow suit.

Erik squished and squashed Vince’s and Chad’s delicate eggs, crushing them with his bare hands.

“Looks like your plan just wasn’t good enough”, Erik grinned. “You’ll have to try a little bit harder to get me, guys…”

He yanked down hard one final time, making Chad and Vince scream from the tops of their lungs, before letting go and allowing them to collapse on the ground, clutching their crotches.

“See you later, guys”, Erik grinned. He got up, grabbed his jacket and walked out the door, whistling a happy tune.

Chad and Vince groaned in pain, and I quickly focused on my magazine again.

“Damn”, Chad whimpered. “Why didn’t you do something?”

I looked up and tried my best to look surprised. “Me?”

“Yes, you, of course!” Chad barked.

I shrugged. “What should I have done?”

“You could have stopped him!” Chad grunted.

Vince was busy nursing his battered genitalia, mumbling “My testicles, my testicles!” over and over again.

“No way, Chad”, I said. “I like my balls and I want to keep them…”

Chad shot me an angry look. “We’ll see about that…”

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