Friday, September 12, 2014

Diagnosis Softballs: The path to recovery

Thanks to an anonymous reader who came up with the idea for this story!

Featured in this story: ChadErikKevSammySimonthe twins and Vince (click for pictures)

“It’s so embarrassing”, Erik chuckled as I walked into the studio. My 19 year old assistant was surrounded by some of our models, and he seemed to be enjoying the attention.

He had been modestly famous in Europe, and he had lost the opportunity to become a European TV star by a hair’s breadth. That wasn’t the only thing he had lost: His ambition had cost him a testicle, too. He took his shortcomings with pride, though, and jokingly referred to himself as the “The one and only”.

His job at our studio was far less glamorous and prestigious than what he had done in Europe, and he seemed to crave the recognition of the guys who stood in front of the camera.

“I mean, Chad of all people”, Erik grinned.

“What are you talking about?” I asked, smiling.

Six heads turned in my direction: our technician and prep guy Vince, lanky skater boy Sammy, the twins Michael and Will, geeky Simon and jock Kev. All of them had amused expressions on their faces.

Erik grinned at met. “Good morning, Alex”, he said.

“Good morning”, I said.

“Guess who has acute symptoms of floppy dick syndrome?” Erik grinned.

I raised my eyebrows. “Chad?” I said.

“That’s the one”, Erik chuckled. “He told me last night. We went out and he got a bit drunk.” Erik laughed. “Little Chad has been on strike for months. Our handsome gigolo hasn’t danced the horizontal tango for a long time.”

The group burst out laughing.

“No hiding the pipe of peace inside the saloon for our lonesome cowboy”, Eric continued, drawing another round of laughter. “The best thing is that he’s worried about shrinkage!”

“What?!” Kev laughed.

“Yeah”, Erik grinned. “He thinks that Little Chad has shrunken.”

“Erik”, I said sternly. “Can I speak to you for a minute?”

Erik grinned. “Sure.”

We walked into the kitchen while the rest of the guys continued making jokes about Chad.

“Do you think it’s appropriate to discuss this with the rest of the guys?” I said after I had closed the door.

Erik shrugged. “We didn’t discuss it. I told them and we had a laugh.”

I looked at him. “Chad told you about this in confidence. I don’t think he wanted you to tell other people.”

Erik grinned. “Of course he didn’t. So what?”

I opened my mouth to say something but I was interrupted by riotous laughter from the studio.

Erik rubbed his hands. “I think he’s here”, he chuckled and walked out of the kitchen.

I sighed. Poor Chad. Sure, my cameraman tended to be grumpy. But he didn’t deserve this. Sure, he was moody. And he rubbed my face in his amorous adventures. And he took his job a little too lightly. And he had crunched my nuts a couple of times.

Come to think of it, maybe he did deserve a bit of mockery…

I walked into the studio. Chad had taken off his jacket. The handsome 30 year old was wearing grubby jeans and a flannel shirt. With his tousled brown hair and his three day stubble he looked pretty hot, and I couldn’t help but stare at his crotch in search of a sign for his sexual dysfunction. His jeans were bulging with his manhood.

“How are you?” Erik grinned as the rest of the guys watched Chad with amusement.

“Fine”, Chad grumbled.

“Not hung over?” Erik said. “I mean, it was late last night. Everything’s hanging alright?”

Some of the guys chuckled.

Chad shrugged and turned to his camera, fumbling with the lens.

“Let me rephrase that”, Erik said cheerfully. “You’re not feeling limp today?”

Kev burst out laughing. The 20 year old jock ran his hand through his brown hair.

Chad froze. “What the fuck?!”

“You’re not feeling a bit, well, small?” Erik continued, beaming with joy. “Small and limp, maybe?”

The group laughed.

Chad turned to Erik. His face was beet red with anger and embarrassment. “You told them, you little fucking shit”, he said in a toneless voice.

“Sure”, Erik grinned. “Little Chad’s problem is our problem, right, guys?”

“Sure”, Kev chuckled. “I’m sure we can help you.”

“Yeah”, Sammy chimed in. “I’m a nurse, remember.” The lanky 18 year old redhead smiled.

Chad stared at Erik. “You fucking one-nutted bastard”, he grunted. “I’m going to rip off your nut and stuff it down your throat!”

He lunged at Erik who let out a frightened yell and hid behind Kev who was taller and significantly more muscular than him.

“Come on”, Kev smiled as he grabbed Chad by the shoulders, preventing him from doing any damage to Erik’s remaining testicle. “We can help you.”

“The fuck you can”, Chad barked. “All the nutkicking is what has ruined my dick in the first place!” He turned and pointed his finger at me. “This is all your fault! Before I started this job I worked on legitimate movies!”

I raised my eyebrows. “You filmed porn, Chad.”

“Hell yeah! With beautiful girls. And sometimes I got to take someone home after work!”

Simon licked his lips. The 23 year old geek adjusted his glasses and grinned. “You could do that here, too…”

Chad frowned at him. “Fuck you! My nuts have been kicked and punched and bitten and squeezed for years! No wonder that Little Chad stopped working!”

The guys burst out laughing.

“You really call him Little Chad?!” Simon giggled.

“Oh, fuck you!” Chad grumbled.

“Come on, let’s have a look”, Sammy suggested. “I’m sure I can help you.”

“Fuck you!” Chad repeated.

Kev grinned and clicked his tongue. “Don’t be rude, Chad. We just want to help you.” He wrapped his arms around Chad’s upper body from behind.

Chad struggled. “Fuck---“

He was interrupted by a mean kick to his nuts courtesy of Sammy. Sammy’s foot slammed into Chad’s crotch, flattening the big, soft bulge in his jeans and making Chad let out an anguished groan.

Kev grimaced and made sure that Chad didn’t double over. “That wasn’t nice”, he chuckled. “You hurt Little Chad.”

“I’m gonna help Little Chad”, Sammy said cheerfully and started unbuttoning Chad’s jeans.

22 year old Michael looked at his twin brother Will. It was obvious that he was uncomfortable with the situation.

“This is going too far”, Michael said in a low voice.

His brother turned to him and grinned. “You don’t wanna see Little Chad, Mikey?”

Michael blushed. “Don’t call me Mikey”, he mumbled.

Sammy pulled down Chad’s jeans and his boxers in one swift motion, exposing Chad’s genitalia.

“Ewwww”, Sammy grimaced when he saw Chad’s dick and balls.

I cleared my throat. “Little Chad does look smaller than I remember”, I said.

Sammy nodded. “Yeah, I think so, too.”

Chad looked down at his genitals and whimpered miserably.

Sammy grabbed Chad’s limp cock by the head and yanked it around, examining it closely. “Yup, I think a couple of inches are missing”, he said gravely. “This is, well, it’s laughable, really.” Sammy sighed and let go of Chad’s dick. “A pathetic flaccid stump.”

“What about his balls?” Simon said slowly. “They don’t look good…”

We shifted our attention from Chad’s pathetic dick to his nuts. The two tender nuggets were visibly swollen, filling out the entire sac. In fact it looked like the room inside Chad’s scrotum was too small for his bloated testicles.

“Hmm”, Sammy said and wrapped his fingers around Chad’s nuts. He gave them a little squeeze, causing Chad to whimper in pain. “When’s the last time you shot your load?”

Chad mumbled something unintelligible.

“What was that?” Sammy asked.

“A couple of months ago ”, Chad muttered.

“A couple of months ago?!” Sammy gasped. “You mean you haven’t cum in a couple of months?!”

Chad glared at him. “How am I supposed to fucking cum if my fucking cock doesn’t work?!” he barked.

Sammy nodded. “Well, you got a point there…” He squeezed Chad’s nuts, making him moan softly. “They feel squishy”, Sammy said slowly. He squeezed harder.

Chad yelped in pain.

“Squishy and soft”, Sammy continued. “Sure, all the sperm is backed up. It has nowhere to go.”

“Let go of my fucking nuts, genius”, Chad grunted.

Sammy looked him in the eye, his hand clasping Chad’s swollen balls. “Listen, Mister”, he said in a low voice, increasing the pressure.

Pearls of sweat appeared on Chad’s forehead as he gritted his teeth, groaning in pain.

“Don’t use that tone on me, okay?” Sammy said grimly, twisting Chad’s nuts and pulling them away from his body.

Chad let out an anguished roar.

“Now shut up and we’ll think about how we can help you”, Sammy said with a final twist of his hand before letting go of Chad’s tormented nuts.

Kev let go of Chad’s body, allowing him to double over, covering his crotch.

“You need help, right?” Sammy said.

Chad nodded, whimpering in pain, clutching his crotch. “I need to go to the fucking bathroom”, he mumbled, sounding like a little child with Tourette Syndrome.

“Well, off you go”, Sammy said, rolling his eyes.

Chad wobbled away, covering his crotch.

Sammy turned to the rest of the guys. “What are we going to do?”

Michael looked at him, raising his eyebrows. “Well, there’s not much that we can do, right? I mean, he needs professional help.”

Sammy scoffed. “Professional help? What good will that do him? I’m pretty sure it’s nothing physical. It’s psychosomatic.”

Michael shrugged. “So he needs to see a shrink.”

Sammy smiled weakly. “He’ll pay thousands of dollars for weeks of questionable treatment. I don’t think he’ll ever be the same anyway. Have you looked at his pathetic stump of a cock?” Sammy chuckled.

“So what do you suggest?” Michael asked.

“Well”, Sammy smiled. “why don’t we treat him?”

I cleared my throat. “I don’t know, Sammy, this is going a bit far, don’t you think?”

Sammy looked at me. “Chad’s an asshole, right?”

I shifted uncomfortably. “He’s alright. He’s just---”

“He’s an asshole”, Erik interrupted me.

“I think we can all agree on that”, Sammy said with a grin.

I opened my mouth to say something when Chad came back from the bathroom, cupping his naked manhood with both of his hands.

“We’ve come up with a way to help you”, Sammy smiled. “You have a serious case of Softballs.”

Chad eyed him with a suspicious expression on his face. “What the fuck?!”

“Textbook case”, Sammy said, nodding gravely. “At this stage it’s treatable. But wait another week or two…” Sammy made a gesture that invoked the explosion of Chad’s junk. “Poof. Goodbye, Little Chad and the fat twins.”

Chad winced.

“And you can change your name to Charlene”, Sammy mused.

The rest of the guys laughed.

Chad’s face was pale. “No”, he whispered.

“We can help you”, Sammy said. “I’ve treated a lot of Softball patients.”

“Okay”, Chad said in a toneless voice.

“It’s not going to be easy”, Sammy said, putting his hand on Chad’s shoulder, “But I’m pretty sure that we can cure you.” He glanced down at Chad’s crotch, slapped Chad’s hands so that he let go of his genitalia, and grabbed Chad’s junk in a firm grip. “You’ll be fucking again soon, buddy.”

Chad groaned.

“If”, Sammy added, twisting his hand and making Chad’s eyes widen, “you do exactly as we say.”

Chad let out a whimper. “But---“

“You have to trust us”, Sammy said slowly. “Charlene.”

Chad shuddered. “Okay.”

 “Good”, Sammy smiled. He playfully patted Chad’s nuts, causing him to yelp in pain.

“Fuck!” Chad yelled.

Sammy scoffed. “Be a man, goddamnit! Show some balls while you still have them!”

Chad gritted his teeth. “Fuck, it hurts!” he hissed.

“You won’t get anywhere with that attitude”, Sammy scolded him. “And all that swearing doesn’t help, either.” He smiled. “Let’s catch two birds with one stone”, he said. “This is the first step in your therapy: Every time you swear you punch yourself in the testies.”

 Chad stared at him. “Are you fucking insane?”

Sammy smiled and wiggled his finger in the air. “A-a-ah, there’s the first punch.”

Chad’s jaw dropped.

“Punch your nuts, man”, Sammy encouraged him.

Chad looked down at his exposed, swollen balls. “You mean…”

“Punch them”, Sammy said cheerfully. “You want them to get better, right?”

Chad blinked. He tentatively cupped his plump nuggets with his left hand, lifted them up a bit, balled his right fist and lightly bumped it against his waiting gonads, grimacing in pain.

Sammy chuckled. “Chad, if you want this to work you’ll have to punch a lot harder.”

Chad stared at him.

“Or do you want us to do it?” Sammy suggested, stepping closer and cheerfully balling both of his fists.

“Nononono”, Chad said quickly and punched his balls again. This time, he grund his knuckles into the soft, meaty orbs hard, resulting in a resounding SPLAT and a high-pitched wail.

Sammy grinned. “That’s it.”

“You’re fucking insane”, Chad groaned, doubled over.

Sammy smiled and lifted his finger.

Chad groaned. “Oh, fuck.”

Sammy lifted second finger, causing Chad to grimace miserably.

Chad sighed, and hit his exposed balls twice in a row. He gulped comically, then he coughed and doubled over with a throaty groan.

“You crazy bastard”, Chad whimpered.

“That’s another one”, Sammy grinned.

“Bastard?!” Chad protested. “Bastard’s not a fucking swear word.”

The boys burst out laughing.

“It is”, Sammy grinned, “man, you really get into this therapy, huh?”

Chad stared at him. Then he sighed and looked down at his bruised balls with a pitiful expression on his face. He held his breath, closed his eyes, and slammed his fist into his balls twice in rapid succession.

The boys watching cringed in sympathy as Chad’s face turned into a mask of pain. His mouth opened in a silent scream, his eyes watered and he collapsed on the floor, curling up in a ball and clutching his throbbing testicles.

“You’re making progress”, Sammy chuckled.

“Am I?” Chad whined.

Sammy nodded with an amused expression on his face. “Just make sure you hit those Softballs as hard as you can. That’s the only way you’ll overcome the blockage. You have to slam those suckers as if you wanted to turn them into mush. That boosts your blood circulation and your nads will be as good as new. And then Little Chad will return from the dead, too.”

The boys stared at him. Sammy had a way of making this ridiculous explanation sound somehow convincing.

Anyway, Chad seemed to buy it.

“Alright”, he muttered. “Alright.”

“Let me show you”, Sammy smiled, turned Chad onto his back and knelt between his spread legs. He grabbed Chad’s swollen nutsack and rolled his sore nuggets in his hand. Then he balled his other hand into a fist and lifted it high above his head.

Chad’s face was a white as a sheet. “Fuck”, he whispered in a toneless voice.

Sammy’s fist came down hard on his exposed balls.

“Fuuuuuuuck!” Chad wailed, clenching his eyes shut.

Sammy punched his nuts again.

“Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!” Chad screamed from the top of his lungs as Sammy pounded his tender nuts again and again with all the force he could muster..

The boys covered their crotches, moaning in sympathy as Chad’s babymakers were turned into meat paste.

Chad screamed hysterically.

Finally, Sammy released his nuts and got up, allowing Chad to assume the fetal position and cry like a little girl.
Sammy was panting heavily. “Okay”, he said, trying to catch his breath. “Everytime you swear you punch yourself in the nuts, got it?”

Chad nodded, whimpering in pain.

Sammy nodded. “That’s your assignment for the duration of our treatment.”

“Fucking hell”, Chad cried out. Then he realized his mistake and started sobbing. “Oh, no”, he sniveled before grabbed his nuts, balling his fist and powering a hard punch into his own gonads.

“Attaboy”, Sammy grinned. “You’re on the path to recovery…”


Chad Fan said...

Fantastic start. I'm sure Chad is in for one heck of a ride. Thanks for the great story!

Alex said...

Thank you, Chad Fan! I'm glad you like it! :-)