Saturday, March 13, 2010

The Ballbusting Olmpics 2010: BOC Meeting


*Thanks to FireCrotchRox for suggesting this new method of Nutball.

Kev entered the studio with Ben and Collin following. We were having a BOC meeting, something that we're not having much of this time around. We were not having many meetings for the simple reason that I wanted things done faster, which is I was forced to dethrone Kev as chairman, but he is still a contributor. But tragedy struck. Normally each event is going to be given two days, the first four preliminary matches on day 1, and the four Medal Matched on day 2, but there was an event scheduled in the gym, and we would have to cut Nutball short one day, meaning we would have to squeeze 8 matches in one day, and there might not be enough time. I gathered the entire BOC for this crisis, me, Phil, Chad, Vince, Kev, Ben, and Collin. The last 3 were the last to arrive. We sat down.

"So what's this whole deal?" asked Phil.

"Well, basically," answered Chad, "their having a basketball game in the gym the day after Nutball."

"And we need time to empty out the equipment," added Vince. "Although we should be up in running in time for our second event, Roshambo."

"But," I interjected, "our schedule is a bit tight, and we can't have an extra day. So in other words, we need to find a way to shave off a bit of a time. According to my estimations, if we don't, we'll run out of time right before the finals."

"Well," said Ben, "that sucks!"

"Ya," added Collin, "we need a way to shorten some matches. Any idea's Kev?" Kev chewed on his thoughts for a while while we remained silent.

Suddenly Kev jumped and shouted, "I got it!" We looked at him expectantly. "We'll do the preliminaries schoolyard style!" Ben and Collin looked at each other with glee, while I looked confused. I asked him to explain, and he did. "So, when me and the guys are fooling around, playing Nutball, if it's not a tournament, we play in a circle. We all sit with legs spead open, and from then on it's like ordinary Nutball, except you throw he ball at whoever you like. People give up as the match advances. This is the way Jackass did it when they invented the game. I figured, every minute of the competition we add a ball to the circle, so there will be two projectiles in the air. And like a regular match, after 10 minutes, the one with least points looses. All 8 of us go up at once, but only four walk out, all in the time of one match, after that we do the last 4 matches."

I though about it for a while. "That's perfect," I said, "it should work fine. but one thing, let's not tell the other guys till the last possible instant. They might try to form a plan and gang up on someone, and I don't want anyone to have an unfair advantage. I mean, I know a lot of the guys have resentment for Warrens guys. Although I hear you Kev have an especially bad past..."

"Well," said Kev, "it's not like I'm friends with them..."

"you betrayed us!" Ben shouted, remembering the events of some time ago. "Don't think we forgot. You better not tell anyone either, and you really better not team up with them again!"

"Don't worry," Kev responded. "I did end on bad terms with them. Anyway, this sounds like a good plan for Nutball, although it should be the only event where we have do this. Now, just to send us off with some good luck, lets slap the Lucky Cock!" Kev said, as he stood up and unbuttoned his jeans. Ben and Collin cheered as I yet again looked confused.

"It's a tradition," said Ben to me, "that we slap Kev's cock for good luck." I couldn't tell if he was being serious. He was. Kev finished removing his jeans, then slipped of his boxers and stood on the table, his cock flopping out in the open.
"Come on guys," said Kev, waving his groin in our direction, "don't jinx me. Everyone has to take a slap, or else it won't work." Ben went up to Kev and delivered a wicked slap to Kev's balls. Kev contorted his face in pain. "Hey, it's my cock that's lucky, not my balls!"

"Ya, no kidding," chided Collin, who walked up to Kev. "Your balls are very unlucky." Collin gave Kev's balls a playful squeeze.

"Hey come on now, stop, lets just slap my cock already," said Kev. I never thought I would hear those words spoken out loud. But we obliged Kev and his odd suspicion. We made a single file line. Ben was first, he gave Kev a devilish smile and smacked Kev's beautiful equipment, catching his cock as well as his balls. Kev made a face of pain, but motioned for the next person. Collin smacked the side of Kev's cock, making swing side to side, while chanting "lucky cock." Chad was up next, and he seemed skeptical, but went ahead anyway. He placed a good smack and got both cock and balls. Vince went up next and gave a bit of a lackluster smack to Kev's cock. Phil went up next. Kev and Phil had had a bit of a rivalry going last year, so I wondered how this would go. Apparently Phil hadn't forgotten, he delivered a solid punch to Kev's balls, his arm muscles bulging, he then grabbed Kev's balls with his left hand and squeezed as he slapped Kev's cock with tremendous force.

"Damn Phil," said Kev as he fell to the ground in agony, grabbing his balls, "that was hard. Guess your still mad over last year." Kev rolled on the ground for a few minutes managing his own pain as the others laughed. It was my turn next, and I went over to Kev. He stood up, still clutching his balls. He removed his hands and said "go ahead Ray." I lifted his limp cock and slapped it. Ben and Collin cheered as Kev put his pants back on. "Thanks guys, looks like this whole Nutball thing is solved, the Olympics should be straightforward from here." Kev then said his goodbyes and left with Ben and Collin following. Chad and Vince left after, and Phil went out. As I left the studio, I though about how fun the next few weeks would be.


FireCrotchRox said...

Awesome, can't wait. =D

Anonymous said...

This seems very promising. I used to visit this site all the time, but I sorta stopped coming when the stories stopped. I'm so excited to see that their coming again. Even if it's not Alex, I'm still happy, and your doing a fine job Ray.

Anonymous said...

Is this site dead ?
Great shame, this place was awesome. Please continue.

Alex said...

re: Is this site dead?
No, I don't think so. You've probably noticed: There's a new guy onboard: Jimmy. Can't wait to read his storys...