Friendly takeover

Before I left the studio, I put my suitcase down and turned around to take one last look at what had been my world for the last two years. I couldn’t help but smile at the thoughts of those hundreds of nuts that had been crushed under my surveillance… Well, maybe not hundreds, but certainly a high double-digit number…

Last week, I had received a phone call from Germany. A childhood friend of mine needed my help and my expertise. He had started a Pay TV station targeting young males in their twenties. He had bought the rights for a couple of shows: Jackass (and a few Jackass knock-offs), Silent Library (the Skandinavian, the Spanish and the American version), Fist of Zen (the German and the British version) and a couple of others. He was successful with this but now he wanted to up the ante.

He planned on filming an adult show where the contestants would put their balls on the line, and – lo and behold – my name was the first that came to mind when there was a need for the systematic demolition of male genitalia…

I have to admit that I was flattered. I had sent my friend the links to various videos and we had a short conversation on the phone. After voicing his admiration for both style and substance of the videos – and asking warily if there had been any cases of severe damage and legal threats – he had given me the task of casting the contestants as well as directing the show. The working title – which was neither imaginative nor particularly graceful – was “Eiersalat” (translating to “Egg Salad”). We needed to find some European hotties who would be willing to drop their pants and show off their naked goodies on national TV. And let their testicles get cracked, of course. There was a lot of work to do…



Anyway, I knew I couldn’t abandon ballbustingboys.org– after all, it was a gold mine with new subscriptions raining in every month…

I knew I couldn’t trust my cameraman Chad with running the business. He wasn’t capable of doing the book-keeping and the membership administration and filming new segments. I also had a hunch that – while he was very capable of casting girls with big tits – he might not be the go-to-guy for casting hung studs.

I spend one night going through my records. In the back of my mind, there were three guys who I thought were perfect for the job…

The next day, I phoned all three of them, expecting all of them to turn me down. None of them did.

So here I was, walking out the door to crack some German nuts on national TV, while those three formidable guys were going to run the site:

- Ray, a young Hispanic guy from Texas. He is going revive the Ballbusting Olympics – and he’s going to make sure that the Ballbusting Olympics 2010 are bigger, better and more painful than everything you have ever seen…

- Travis, a young college student. He is pretty inventive and has a knack for building things that destroy other things – if you catch my dift…

- Oliver, a 26 years old British guy. He has some experience in the world of business and I'm sure he'll find ways to keep the site interesting...

I was thrilled at the prospect of having the three of them give their input and improve the site. And I couldn’t wait to get to Germany and bash some balls.

I took a last look at the studio and sighed. Well, I’d certainly miss my work here. Maybe I’d come back some day…