Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Video links: Around the world with the "chinko machine"

Ah, you gotta love television producers - once they spot a new idea in another country they take it home and copy it shamelessly, just look at all those Wife Swap/Frauentausch/Maa Exchange or  [Insert adjectival form of country] Idol shows.

While I'm not overly interested in wives or idols (with a couple of notable exceptions like the ballbusting boys of One Direction - oh, that Bangkok joke never gets old, right?), I'm very excited that the wonderful invention of the chinko machine has made it to various TV shows all around the world.

The chinko machine - if I may take a moment to recapitulate the history of this universally beloved entertainment device - was created by some whacky Japanese TV producers for the variety show Gaki no Tsukai where it made its first glorious appearance as the punishment (batsu) in a togue twister game. The video clip of this segment quickly became an internet sensation. Various sources say that the name, by the way, derives from the japanese word for penis. How's that for Asian subtlety, huh?

In case you haven't seen the clip yet (probably because you lived on the moon for the past ten years), here it is:

Apparently, the segment was so popular that the chinko machine was used again on Gaki no Tsukai:

After that, we've seen the chinko machine pop up (pun intended) in different contexts all over the world:

While the Japanese show featured comedians (i.e. professional actors who probably got paid a lot of money to get their nuts crunched in one of the most popular shows in the country) MTV India decided that it was a good idea to make the guileless contestants of their show Roadies (season 6) put their balls on the line. The female contestants are asked questions. If they get it wrong, their male team mates are bashed in the balls by the chinko machine. When the show's producers noticed that it didn't really hurt the guys, they made them strip down to their underwear which notably bettered the results and worsened the contestants' sperm count.

Surprisingly, not everyone thought that this part of the show was a masterpiece, and there was a minor scanal which probably accounts for the fact that the chinko machine didn't make another appearance on the show.

Here are the clips:

It's a well known fact that the Scandinavians are very good at creating new, inventive TV shows, so Norway, Sweden and Denmark joined forces to combine the internationally successful Silent Library format with the chinko machine. Here, the interference with some poor guys' sex lives takes places at the end of every single episode. Three teams (each consisting of three people, most often guys) compete against each other in a series of challenges. In the finale, the winning team gets flowers (or something like that) and the losing team gets the chinko machine (dubbed ballesmekker'n in Swedish, isn't that cute?).

In a rather inventive variation, the three guys take their position, there's fireworks and a lot of suspense before one of them gets whacked in the nuggets. The other two guys are lucky and laugh at their poor friend who's writhing on the floor. Great fun for everybody!

Unfortunately, there has only been one season (consisting of 10 episodes), and the clips are pretty hard to find.

Here are a couple of examples:

(skip to 2:50)

(skip to 3:25)

The clips above have been well documented and I'm pretty sure that you've seen all of them before.

One appearance that hasn't been known to me until yesterday (and which is the reason for this post) is the one on Dutch TV show Beat de Mol. In every episode, there are two teams, one team surrounding Dutch TV personality Johnny de Mol, the other one surrounding a different Dutch celebrity in every episode. There are various challenges, and in the seventh episode the teams take on the chinko machine.

I don't really get what's going on. Apparently they have to remain silent or motionless when they get smacked in the nuts and somehow one team wins in the end. Well, whatever. What's more important is that every member of both teams gets hit in the balls - and we are treated to a couple of wonderful slow motion sequences (in the first clip where the guys are wearing white shorts) that prove (pretty graphically) that they are not wearing protective cups... That's what I call must-see TV!

The Beat de Mol show aired in 2010, and the clips have been available on YouTube for years - but somehow they went under my radar until yesterday.

That made me think.

The chinko machine has probably appeared in many, many more countries all over the world. I mean, why should TV producers in India, Scandinavia and the Netherlands be the only ones who love this wonderful Japanese Invention?

What about Russia, Ukraine and all the Eastern European countries? What about Brazil, Argentina and all of South America? What about Africa and Australia?

Unfortunately, my language skills are limited to German and English (with just a little bit of French, and a couple of Dutch and Swedish words that I learned in long, sleepless nights of searching the internet for jerking material research) so I'm rather limited in my abilities.

But you, my dear readers, come from all over the world - and I'm sure you'd love to help me in my quest to compile the Comprehensive History of the Chinko Machine, right?

So search your memory and the world wide web to find ballsmacking links, pics and videos!
Share your knowledge of your home country's television history with us and leave a comment or send me an email (!
Let us all have a glimpse of what nut smashing looks like around the world!

Thank you! :-))

Oh, and if you have a link to some non-chinko-machine-related game Show ballbusting I'm sure nobody will object if you share those, too... :-))


Carter said...

Awesome post. I'll have to watch these when I have the chance. I've only seen a few.

Alex said...

Thanks, Carter! I hope you'll enjoy them! :-))

Anonymous said...

Does the "Nutcracker" on Supernatural count? Technically, it's not a real game show...

It's part of the episode "Changing Channels" and you'll find it on YouTube.

Alex said...

Oh man, I totally forgot about that one! Thanks for your comment!

Anonymous said...

wow, cool stuff

Alex said...

Thank you! :-))