Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Sexy Santa and his nut-crunching elves: Revenge of the elves

This is a sequel to last year's Christmas story How the elves saved Christmas. I wrote it in hurry to finish it in time for Christmas Day and I'm not 100% happy with how it turned out. I hope you like it anywyay... Merry Christmas and thanks to everyone who reads my blog and comments on the stories!


Warning: Can contain traces of egg nog.

 „I bet it’s Rudolph, that senile old hack“, Benjamin mumbled. The slender, petite elf tapped his foot and looked out the window. “I bet he has taken a wrong turn…”

He had convened in the common room along with the other senior elves. This season had been particularly exhausting. The number of gifts that had to be processed was up 10% compared to last year’s final tally. And North Pole Management Inc. hadn’t even considered upping the number of contract elves. Naturally, the twelve senior elves were tired.

But now it was almost dawn on Christmas Morning, and the season was finally over. Nico would be coming home from his last tour any minute now, and the elves were looking forward to their ritual.

Nico was a young, fit, great-looking stud who looked like a prince from a fairy tale. Brown hair, a friendly smile, a handsome face, and a fantastic body with muscles in all the right placed – the little blond elves just loved him. The previous Santa, a chain-smoking ugly old slob with a fuzzy white beard, greasy hair and a pot belly had retired after his second heart-attack, much to the delight of his little helpers. When Nico had first arrived at the North Pole, the elves had trouble hiding their rock-hard excitement in their tight-fitting felt pants…

Over the years, they had found ways to enjoy his presence even more. Every night, they brought him a big cup of their own special egg nog that included the best that the twelve delicate blonds had to give…

Last Christmas, they had started working over his nuts in order to stop his unnatural urges that were directed at mortal girls. They had developed a weekly routine that left Nico’s testicles neatly beaten and bruised, and thoroughly drained and empty to the last drop. At first, sexy young Nico didn’t understand that they were doing it for his own good. But after a couple of weeks he had stopped fighting and let the elves do their work every Saturday.

The elves had worked out an elaborate exercise regime that included lots of useful little toys like wooden hammers, seasonally appropriate nutcrackers, and a surprisingly effective fruit press.

Now the elves were waiting for Nico to have a little private party in his bedroom. Beautiful young Timothy, who had recently been promoted to head elf, had even snatched a leather sling that had been intended for an undeserving suburban housewife.

Timothy looked at his watch. “I hope he didn’t have an accident.” He absentmindedly rubbed the little bulge in his crotch.

“Oh no!” Theodore’s eyes widened. “An accident?” His eyes filled with tears. “But he’s so young and beautiful and sexy!”

Timothy rolled his eyes. “Don’t worry, Theodore”, he said, smiling gently. “I’m sure he is alright.”

“Look!” Jonathan exclaimed, pointing out the window.

In the far distance, there was a little red light that came closer and closer.

“Rudolph”, Benjamin snorted.

The elves rushed out and waited in the snow until the sleigh had stopped in front of the main building.

Rudolph looked guilty and avoided eye-contact.

“Santa!” Timothy gasped.

Nico looked miserable. He was barely conscious. His red robe was torn and dirty, and his face was contorted in pain. “Hey guys”, he whispered in a toneless voice before his eyes rolled back into his head and he slid down the sleigh, landing in the cold white snow.

Theodore burst out in tears while the rest of the elves lifted the unconscious stud up and carried him into the house.

“Get a glass of water”, Timothy yelled at Theodore who whimpered and rushed into the kitchen.

The rest of the elves huffed and puffed as they carried Nico up the stairs into the bedroom. They took off his clothes and stripped him naked. When they saw his groin, the elves let out a collective gasp.

Nico big, beautiful balls looked like they had been run over by the sleigh several times. They were bruised and swollen and ruby red, looking bizarrely like two precise replicas of Rudolph’s nose. Timothy jumped between Nico’s thighs and tentatively grabbed the huge, abused orbs with his hands, making Nico groan in pain.

Suddenly, there was a noise at the door. The elves turned their heads and saw Theodore standing in the door, the glass of water shattered on the floor.

“You started without me?!” Theodore cried. “You perfidious a---“

“Stop it”, Timothy said sharply. “We didn’t do anything.” He turned his attention to Nico’s shattered glitter balls. “Who did this to you?” he whispered.

Nico opened his eyes, whimpering in pain. “It was a trap”, he whispered. “There was an iron bar in the chimney…”

Timothy gulped. “You landed on your…”

Nico closed his eyes and nodded.

Timothy bit his lips. “Those bastards.”

Theodore was sobbing.

“They tied me up”, Nico continued. “And then they unwrapped their gifts. They had baseball bats and ropes, and a stun gun…”

“Oh my god”, Timothy said in a toneless voice. He looked down at the tortured testicles in his hands.

Groaning and moaning, Nico told the elves everything he knew while Timothy was gently cupping his beaten and battered testicles in his little hands.

When Nico was finished, Timothy said in a low voice, “They ruined our Christmas.” He looked at his fellow elves and shouted, “They ruined our Christmas!” He thought for a moment. “We can’t let them get away with this!” Unwittingly, his hands tightened around Nico’s sore balls. “We’re going to destroy them!” He squeezed hard, making Nico let out a miserable groan. “We’re going to find them and we’re going to destroy them!”

The elves cheered and clapped as Timothy kneaded poor Nico’s nuts emphatically with each word.

“This will not go unpunished!” Timothy said melodramatically, digging his fingernails into Nico’s meaty, bruised gonads. “They. Will. Pay!”

Nico’s shrill shrieks were drowned out by the elves’ cheers and applause.

“Yes!” Timothy shouted, smashing Nico’s nuts between the palms of his hands, causing Nico’s eyes to cross before he mercifully passed out.

A couple of minutes later, the sleigh was packed with twelve angry elves on their way to avenge poor Sexy Santa. Reliable old Rudolph had promised to take them to the scene of the crime, an old mansion that had been turned into a fraternity house.

As they drove towards their destination, Timothy told the other elves about his plan.


The frat house lay quiet at the end of a snow covered road. Rudolph dropped the elves off on the rooftop and left to find an inconspicuous parking space for the sleigh.

The slender elves stood knee deep in the snow. There was no sound except for the chattering of Theodore’s teeth. Timothy whispered a few final instructions and the elves nodded grimly.

One by one, they hopped into the chimney. They had to be careful to avoid the sneaky trap the frat guys had installed at the bottom. 

Timothy stood in the fireplace and looked at the sturdy iron bar that was attached to the sides of the chimney at Timothy’s eye level. Slowly, he ran his hand over the cold steel.

He could only imagine how Santa’s balls must have felt when his groin met the bar and his journey down the chimney had come to an abrupt halt. He shuddered.

He looked at his fellow elves and raised his eyebrow. “Where’s Theodore?” he whispered.

Benjamin rolled his eyes and pointed upwards.

Theodore was standing at the edge of the chimney, looking down at his friends with tears in his eyes and a fearful expression on his face.

“Come down here! Now!” Timothy hissed.

Theodore whimpered. “But---“

“Now!” Timothy snapped.

Theodore took a deep breath, closed his eyes and jumped into the dark chimney.

“Theodore, mind the---“


“---bar”, Timothy said slowly.

Poor Theodore’s eyes widened and slowly crossed as he landed crotch first on the unyielding iron bar. His little nuggets were crunched flat and a shrill, high-pitched yelp escaped his lips.

The rest of the elves cringed in sympathy, their little hands covering their crotches, as they watched Theodore gasp for air, his face blushing, his legs kicking.

Timothy sighed and gestured for Benjamin and Jonathan to help their hapless buddy.

Once his feet touched the ground, Theodore curled up in a ball, clutching his tender testicles and sobbing in pain.

“I guess he won’t be able to deliver his share of Santa’s egg nog tonight”, Jonathan said, suppressing a grin.

Some of the elves giggled.

“This chimney is a ball-killer”, Benjamin said grimly.

Timothy rolled his eyes. “That’s what it’s designed to be. Now let’s go and find the people who are responsible for this!”

The elves walked through the living room. The results of the ball-slaying mayhem that had occurred here were obvious. The baseball bat, the rope, and the stun gun were lying on the ground, next to a large puddle of a creamy substance that Timothy recognized immediately.

To be sure, he dipped his finger into the slimy liquid and tasted it with the tip of his tongue.

“Santa sperm”, he nodded gravely. “This…” He lifted his finger for all to see. “…was supposed to be ours!”

The elves nodded.

“Let’s see”, Timothy said, his eyes falling on some discarded wrapping paper. He rifled through it until he found what he was looking for. Triumphantly, he held up three gift tags. “Boyd, Todd and Kris”, he read. “Those are the guys we are looking for.”

The elves rubbed their hands.

They found Boyd sleeping in his room which stank of booze and sweat.

Timothy scrunched up his nose. “He’s the one who got the stun gun”, he said with an evil smile.

Lying stark naked on the bed, Boyd was snoring loudly. He was lying on his back, giving the elves a perfect view of his body. The blond stud was very muscular with strong legs and arms, a perfect eight pack of abs, and a big, meaty schlong accompanied by two juicy testicles that hung low in their sac.

The elves let out a collective sigh.

Timothy rolled his eyes and handed Benjamin the stun gun. “Here”, he said in a low voice. “Roast his chestnuts.”

“My pleasure”, Benjamin sing-songed. Three other elves stayed with him, and the rest walked into Todd’s room.

Todd was snoring even louder than Boyd. Just like his frat buddy he seemed to prefer sleeping in the nude. He was lying on his belly, his legs spread slightly apart. Between his thighs, his meaty cock was wedged between his body and the mattress along with a beautiful pair of remarkably large testicles that looked like they took up all the room in his scrotum.

Timothy looked at the black-haired hunk and handed Jonathan the baseball bat.

“You know what to do”, he said. “Hit ‘em out of the park.”

Jonathan chuckled and nodded eagerly. Leaving another three little helpers behind, Timothy and the remaining trio of elves walked into the room of their final target.

Kris was a blond stud whose tan and sun-bleached hair indicated that he spent a lot of time at the beach, probably trying to impress the girls with the surf-board that was lying next to his bed.

Two used condoms that lay on the floor indicated that he was pretty successful with that strategy – and that he didn’t care too much about cleaning up.

Timothy held the rope in his hands and nodded slowly. “Let’s get to work, my friends”, he said.

Only moments later, the quiet mansion came alive with the surprised yelps and ear-piercing screams of three young studs getting their precious jewels viciously abused.

Benjamin rammed the stun gun into Boyd’s sac of spuds, making sure to sink the electrodes deep into each of Boyd’s big, meaty testicles. Then he pulled the trigger, sending bolts of electricity through Boyd’s tender orbs.

Boyd’s eyes opened wide and he screamed from the top of his lungs as he was rudely awakened from a naughty little fantasy that involved two hot cheerleaders that made his balls tingle. The tingling turned into red hot throbbing as his juicy nuts were electrocuted by his own Christmas present.

Benjamin and the three elves laughed viciously as Boyd’s body comvulsed and the hair on his sac started sizzling. To the elves’ surprise, the huge snake of his cock responded in a rather unexpected way: It grew and grew, slowly rising as if under the spell of a serpent charmer.

Benjamin withdrew the stun gun from Boyd’s balls and quickly jabbed it into the meaty shaft of Boyd’s rock hard cock.

Boyd squealed like a pig in a slaughterhouse as his beautiful, huge dong was fried like an oversized bratwurst.

The smell of a backyard barbecue filled the room as it was lit up by the electricity that ran through Boyd’s dick.

Taking pity on Boyd’s massive schlong, Benjamin returned his attention to Boyd’s massive eggs that looked swollen and bruised. He thrust the stun gun into his testicles with glee, causing Boyd to gurgle and screech.

At the same time, Jonathan was standing between Todd’s spread legs. He weighed the baseball bat in his hands. It looked huge in the hands of a slender little elf like Jonathan. He looked down at the target that presented itself between Todd’s thighs.

His big, bulging gonads did indeed resemble baseballs, and Jonathan bit his lower lip to make sure he hit a home run.

Jonathan’s little helpers held Todd’s arms above his head and his legs spread apart, and the blond elf swung his bat between Todd’s thighs. The heavy, wooden bat connected perfectly with Todd’s meatballs, hitting them hard and ramming them into his body.

Todd let out an anguished grunt that turned into a high-pitched wail as the pain exploded in his testicles. He kicked his legs, trying to throw the two elves off his body, but to no avail. Jonathan slammed the bat between Todd’s muscular thighs again and again, smashing his poor, juicy testicles and occasionally hitting his thick, veiny schlong as well.

Todd’s dick fattened and hardened as his nuts were pummeled with all the force Jonathan could muster. In fact, Jonathan had been on the elves’ prize-winning baseball team, and it showed. He swung the bat like a pro, hitting Todd’s balls again and again. Todd’s testicles grew bigger and more swollen with every hit. Soon, they were filling his entire sac, and it looked as if they were going to burst through the skin.

One of the elves was sitting on Todd’s head, making him scream into his pillow in absolutely agony with every well-placed hit that Jonathan landed on Todd’s juicy testicles.

By now, Todd’s cock was rock hard, and Jonathan gleefully stomped down on it with his little feet as he continued bashing his battered and bruised balls.

In the next room, Timothy had tied Kris to the bed with his rope. He fondled Kris’ nuts with a wicked grin. He held one of his nuts in each hand and stretched the sac to its limit. The blond surfer stud watched in horror as Timothy wrapped the rope around each of his balls, separating them from each other and tying a knot around them with individual pieces of rope.

He looked at the ceiling and smiled when he saw two hooks above the bed that were intended to hold lamps. He was going to put them to a different use…

Kris shrieked in pain as Timothy pulled at the ropes, yanking at his balls. Rather elegantly, Timothy tossed the ropes into the air so that they ran through the hooks.

The horrified expression on Kris’ face said that he knew exactly what the vicious little elves were up to.

Inspecting his primitive hoist, Timothy pulled at the left rope, yanking at Kris’ left nut. He smiled with satisfaction.

“Hey guys”, Timothy grinned, turning to his friends. “Who wants to swing on these ropes, huh?”

Two elves immediately cheered and gabbed the ropes.

Kris screamed in agony as the elves grabbed the ropes and climbed up, yanking hard at his separated nuts. His body bucked and his eyes turned inward as his nuts were pulled in opposite directions.

Timothy chuckled.

Theodore pointed at Kris’ huge cock that slowly rose as Kris’ nut cords were stretched to their absolute limits. “May I?”

“Sure”, Timothy nodded. “Help yourself…”

Theodore smiled and hopped onto Kris’ chest. He licked his lips and opened his mouth wide. Slowly, he warpped his lips around Kris’ fat, hard cock, slowly sliding it down his throat.

Kris was wailing in agony as the two elves were swinging happily on their ropes, yanking at his poor, stretched nuts that were bulging obscenely, their color changing into a peculiar, decidedly unhealthy shade of red.

At the same time, Theodore was deep-throating Kris’ mammoth cock, grunting with pleasure as the fat schlong penetrated his mouth.

In Boyd’s room, Benjamin was experimenting with Boyd’s hot, fried balls. He giggled as he pushed the button and then let go, making Boyd’s body convulse as the electricity ran through his testicles. His cock twitched and jerked and a steady river of precum ran down its shaft, soaking what was left of his sizzling pubic hair.

Jonathan was busy slamming Todd’s bruised and battered meatballs with the baseball bat, hitting both of the rapidly swelling gonads at a steady rhythm while stomping on his rock-hard cock.

The two elves were swinging back and forth on the ropes, laughing giddily as they were pulling on Kris’ poor, stretched nuggets, while Theodore was giving Kris the blowjob of his life.

Timothy listened to the screams and shrieks of agony that filled the mansion, smiling happily.

The dull thuds of the baseball bat meeting Todd’s meatballs and the sickening stomps on Todd’s dick mixed with the sound of the electricity from the tazer frying Boyd’s balls, creating a rhythmic background that accompanied the three voices in their slightly disharmonious melody.

It was almost magical.

Timothy’s eyes fell on fir branch that was lying on the ground. He lifted it up and an idea popped into his head. “It’s not the original thing but it’ll do”, he mumbled and stood between Kris’ legs, his eyes fixed on his separated nuts that were stretched obscenely far from his body.

Timothy reached back and whipped the branch onto Kris’ hapless right testicle with a resounding smack.

Kris wailed in agony at the additional pain in his throbbing testicles.

Timothy grinned and took a deep breath. Alternately smacking Kris’ left ball and his right ball, he sang in his angelic voice:

“Smack the balls with boughs of holly
Falalalaa lalalala
Turn them into guacamole
Falalalaa lalalala
Drain the seed from nad and naddie
Falala falala lalalaa
He will never be a daddy
Falalalaa lalalala“

Like they had done so many times, the other elves joined in on the falala bit. The rhythms and the voices mixed to create a musical masterpiece that culminated in a bombastic triple orgasm that rocked the three mortal guys’ worlds.

Boyd, Todd and Kris came at the same time. As the sperm shot out of Boyd’s cock like a fountain, Todd’s dick created a sticky, juicy puddle underneath Jonathan’s feet, and Kris injected what felt like a gallon of his salty semen deep into Theodore’s throat.

Their bodies shook violently as the three frat guys experienced the most painful orgasm they had ever felt before all three of them passed out simultaneously.

The elves didn’t bother to clean up after them. They hopped into the sleigh and drove off, singing Christmas songs and laughing happily.


When they arrived at the North Pole, they convened in the common room. All twelve of them dropped their pants and filled Nico’s bowl with the richest and most delicious egg nog they had ever produced.

An hour later, they were sitting on Nico’s bed. He had finished the bowl, smiling weakly, his lips smeared with elven cum, as his little helpers fondled his battered genitalia.

“This is the best egg nog I’ve ever tasted”, Nico sighed, causing the elves to giggle. “Merry Christmas to each and every one of you!”


Brandon Collins said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Alex said...

Thank you, Brandon! I'm glad you liked it! :-))

BBcrusher said...

Merry Christmas Alex!! Thanks for share great story again. I know you are so busy, but made on time Elves nut cracking story again. I really liked last year's elves nut crunch sexy Santa. This year elves cracked 3 hunky guys nuts with fun wow.

Alex said...

Thanks, BBCrusher! I'm glad you enjoyed the story!

Anonymous said...

Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! I'm thrilled to see a new story...a great christmas present for all your readers. Can't wait for the next one! Keep up the great work.

Alex said...

Thank you very much! I hope that I'll be able to write more in 2014... :-))

troubadour said...

Great to see a new post up Alex! This was a such a fun story, it definitely made for a hot sequel. I can't wait to see what you have planned for next year!

BBcrusher said...

Hi Alex,
I just thought would be great that elves cracked Rudolph's big rain deer balls ;-) with singing dancing and cracking nuts!! Happy New Year!


Alex said...

Thanks for your comments, guys!

@BBCrusher: I'll keep your suggestion in mind for next year's story... :-))

Anonymous said...

Great story! When will the next one be ready ? I can't wait

Alex said...

Thanks for your comment. I'm working on a new story but frankly I have no idea when I'll be able to finish it...