World Cup Testers: Netherlands

Featured in this story: Kev (click for pictures)

Jasper Cillessen had a wide grin on his face. The 25 year old goalkeeper of the Dutch soccer team, must have experienced hundreds of memorable moments on the field but today, it seemed, was a special day for him.

He was wearing his light green soccer clothes, a jersey, a loose pair of shorts, socks and socker cleats.

He greeted 20 year old Kev with a firm handshake. Kev was the prototypical jock, a handsome guy, tall and fit, with muscles in all the right places.

“Nice to meet you”, Jasper said, smiling.

Kev grinned. “Likewise. I gotta say, I’m not much of a soccer fan, I’m more a baseball kind of guy, you know. But I heard a lot about you and from what I’ve seen on the internet you have a strong kick. Especially when the ball’s not rolling.” He chuckled. “I guess I’ll get some first-hand experience today, huh?”

Jasper laughed. “Well, that’s what we’re here for, right?” He playfully slapped the big bulge in Kev’s jockstrap.

Kev tried to get his good out of the way but wasn’t quick enough. Jasper’s hand connected lightly with his nuts and Kev grimaced and rubbed his crotch.

Jasper laughed.

Kev was wearing a tight fitting white jersey that showed off his muscular chest, with his erect nipples clearly visible. Below the waist he was wearing nothing but his jockstrap. It was a rather special design, with a bright red bull’s eye where Kev’s dick and balls were stretching the fabric.

We were here in Brazil at the FIFA World Cup to film a short video for an extensive marketing campaign. Kieran, a young marketing consultant, had landed a lucrative deal for BULL’S EYE protective cups that involved a series of clips featuring star soccer players showing their ball kicking skills.

“You introduce yourself to the camera”, Kieran explained to Jasper. “These are your lines.”

Jasper Cillessen read them and nodded. “Alright. Can I go a bit off-script?”

Kieran shrugged. “As long as we get our message across.”

The handsome blond soccer player nodded. “Got it.” He grinned at Kev. “This is gonna be fun.”

Kev grimaced comically. “Not for me…”

Jasper laughed and placed his hand on Kev’s shoulder. “Probably not. But I’m gonna have a hell of a time scrambling your eggs.”

Kev chuckled. “I bet.”

Kieran handed Jasper one of the products, a BULL’S EYE protective cup with the trademark bull’s eye panted on the front. “Make sure to show this to the camera”, he said.

My cameraman Chad nodded at me, and I said, “We’re ready to go.”

Jasper turned to the camera and smiled. “I’m Jasper Cillessen. I’m a goalkeeper, so naturally I haven’t scored many goals in my career. But today it looks like I’m finally gonna score.” He pointed at Kev and chuckled. “And this young man is kind enough to provide the balls for me.”

Kev grimaced comically.

Jasper laughed. “No kids for you, chap.”

Kev gulped.

Jasper held the cup up, wiggled it, and addressed the camera. “Today I’m going to show you what happens if you don’t wear a BULL’S EYE protective cup.” He grimaced. “Trust me, it’s not going to be pretty.” He snapped his fingers. “Oh, I haven’t introduced my pal here who is going to kiss is sex life goodbye for your entertainment. Isn’t that nice of him?” He laughed and turned to Kev. “This is Kev. Say hi, Kev.”

Kev grinned. “Hi.” He had his hands behind his back and was standing with his legs spread shoulder-width apart.

“Are you wearing a cup?” Jasper asked.

Kev shook his head.

“Really?” Jasper feigned surprise. He took a step back and looked at Kev’s crotch. “Don’t you think that’s a little bit dangerous? I think you should definitely wear a BULL’S EYE protective cup. You know why?”

Kev chuckled. “Why?”

Jasper smiled. “This is why”, he said and threw a hard kick between Kev’s legs, smashing his balls into his pelvis and making Kev let out a scream.

Jasper took a step back to admire his work as Kev doubled over, grabbing his crotch and muttering obscenities.

“Well, Kev, are you convinced?” Jasper grinned.

There was a moment of silence.

“Not entirely”, Kev said in a strained voice.

Jasper raised his eyebrows. “You--- What?”

Kev looked up and grinned weakly. “That wasn’t too bad.”

Jasper chuckled. “You’re kidding, right?”

Kev straightened and adjusted his crotch. “It didn’t really hurt”, he lied. “I don’t think I need a cup.”

Jasper let out a laugh. “Okay, then, let’s see if I have another argument to convince you.”

“Bring it on”, Kev said, sounding remarkably cocky.

With a wide grin, Jasper kicked Kev’s bulging balls again. His instep collided with Kev’s juicy babymakers, ramming them into his body and flattening them like pancakes.

Kev let out a high-pitched yowl and dropped to his knees, doubling over and clutching his groin.

Jasper chuckled and mouthed to the camera, “He’s got scrambled eggs in his jockstrap now… Shoulda worn this.” He held up the cup and laughed.

“I don’t know”, Kev whispered from the ground, “I’m not convinced yet. Care to give me another one?”

Jasper laughed in disbelief. “You sure?”

Kev looked up at him. “Yup”, he said in a strained voice.

“I sure hope you already have kids”, Jasper grinned. “Cause you’re not going to father children any time soon…” He waited for Kev to stand up and assume his position.

Kev was in obvious pain. His face was scrunched up and sweaty and his eyes were glassy. But considering he had been socked in the nuts by one of the best goalkeepers of the world twice in a row, he did a remarkably good job at hiding his pain.

Jasper grinned and handed Kev the cup. “Hold this for a moment, okay?”

“Sure”, Kev said in a toneless voice.

He held the cup with both of his hands in front of his body, just above his vulnerable crotch.

Jasper took a couple of steps back and rubbed his hands. “Alright. This is going to kill your balls.”

Kev smiled weakly, his eyes widening in anticipation as Jasper ran towards him as if he was trying to score a penalty kick.

The kick lifted Kev off the ground. Jasper’s instep crunched Kev’s nuts with an audible thud slamming his nuts into his body and making Kev scream from the top of his lungs.

Laughing, Jasper took a step back and doubled over in sympathy as Kev’s eyes rolled back into his head and he collapsed on the ground, holding on to the useless cup with both of his hands.

He squirmed on the floor, screaming in pain and rocking back and forth.

Jasper slapped his thighs laughing. “That was priceless”, he cried. “God, you’ll be walking funny for a week…”

Kev looked up into the camera, his face a mask of pain. He held up the cup and whispered, “I shoulda worn this.”, drawing another round of laughter from Jasper.

“He’s right”, Jasper laughed and winked at the camera. “You better wear a BULL’S EYE protective cup!”

“Cut”, Kieran yelled. “Thank you guys, that was awesome.”

“My pleasure”, Jasper grinned.

Kev was lying on the ground, groaning in pain and covering his crotch, his eyes clenched shut.

Jasper leaned over and patted Kev’s back. “You’re a good sport”, he chuckled. “I hope they pay you as good as they pay me…”

Later, when we were sitting in the car, heading for the hotel, I noticed that Kev was looking out the window, a blank expression on his face as he watched hordes of scantily clad Brazilian girls walking on the side walk. He was holding an ice-pack against his sore nuts.

“You okay?” I asked.

Kev grimaced. “You know, we’re here for more than a week.” He sighed. “This could have been a fucktastic holiday”, he said, lifting the icepack with one hand, then lifting the waistband of his loose shorts with the other, peeking inside and grimacing at the sight of his battered genitalia.

“I see”, I said, smiling sympathetically. “Maybe another time…”