You only cum twice

Special thanks to the biggest Alexander Ludwig fan.

Warning: Can contain traces of cum.

Featured in this story: Logan and Zach (click for pictures)

My day started with a very strange phone conversation.

A couple of weeks ago, we had asked our members to choose our next Special Guest Star, and there was something about the numbers that bugged me. Alexander Ludwig, a 21 year old Canadian who had quickly risen to movie star fame by playing a villainous role in “The Hunger Games”, had emerged as the winner by a landslide, beating out famous stars like Taylor Lautner, Justin Bieber and British pop sensation “One Direction”. Somehow, it didn’t make sense. A little bit of research confirmed it: The poll had been rigged. As a consequence, we disqualified Alexander Ludwig and wrote a lengthy post on our blog.

A week later, as I was preparing for a photo shoot with our models Logan and Zach, the phone rang and a rude woman with a strong British accent demanded to speak to my boss. She sounded almost hysterical, and I contemplated putting the phone down. After taking a deep breath, I said, “You are speaking to him.”

There was silence at the other end of the line, then the women said, “This is Edina Monsoon of Monsoon PR. I’m representing Hollywood hunk Alexander Ludwig.”



She waited for my response.

“Alexander bloody Ludwig!” she hissed.

“I heard you”, I said calmly. “How can I help you?”

“You bloody disqualified him!” she spat. “Who do you bloody think you are? We’re talking about Alexander bloody Ludwig here! This is bloody ridiculous!”

I held the receiver at a distance and let her continue her fit of rage. I couldn’t help but marvel at the inventive use of “bloody” and “bollocks” in every sentence.

“We’ve worked bloody hard to get him where he is right now”, she said. “And I’m not going to let some bloody buggery stupid magazine ruin my good name--- his good name in some inter-bloody-net bloody shitstorm!”

In the background, I heard a woman scream. “Tell him, Eddie, tell him!”

I rolled my eyes. “We’re not a magazi---“

“I don’t bloody care what you are!” lovely Mrs. Monsoon hissed. “Alexander bloody Ludwig is going to get the bloody buggery role!”

“I seriously have no idea what you are talking about”, I said, scratching my head.

There was a commotion at the other end of the line, and suddenly I was talking to that other woman who had been screaming in the background. “Listen, you stupid prick”, she said, sounding like she had recently inhaled an ashtray. “I played a Bond girl more than once. I know how these things work. Don’t play dumb with me, honey!”

I heard Mrs. Monsoon shouting in the background, “James bloody Bond! 007!”

“You let Alexander Ludwig audition for the role or I’ll chop your bloody bollocks off!” the woman with the smoky voice said.

I couldn’t help but think that this woman meant every word of what she said. “M’am, I seriously think you are---“

“Don’t m’am me, you bloody prick”, the woman growled.

“Give me the phone, Patsy”, I heard Mrs. Monsoon shout in the background.

I braced myself for another diatribe, but she just said, “He’s going to arrive at your place in fifteen minutes. You let him audition or Patsy is going to make you pay.”

“I will!” I heard Patsy shout. “You bloody believe it!”

Before the line was disconnected, I heard Patsy say, “Bottle of Bolly, sweetie?”

Then the line was dead.

My cameraman Chad looked at me, a curious expression on his face. “What was that about?”

“I have no idea”, I said slowly. “Apparently, Hollywood hunk Alexander Ludwig is going to be here in fifteen minutes. And apparently he expects to audition for the role of James Bond.”

Chad raised his eyebrows. “Is Daniel Craig retiring?”

I stared at him. “I have no idea! Besides, that’s the least important question right now.”

“Why is he coming here?” Chad asked.

“No fucking clue”, I said. “That woman on the phone sounded absolutely crazy. She said she was Alexander Ludwig representative.”

“Do you think she rigged the poll?” Chad asked.

I thought for a moment. “Maybe she did. The poll was rigged by someone who’s located in London, at least that’s what the statistics say, and that crazy lady had a very strong accent.”

“Why would a Hollywood star have a representative in London?” Chad asked.

I groaned. “I don’t know! He’s Canadian. They do all sorts of crazy stuff…”

Chad nodded. “So she rigged our poll because she thought she’d land him the role of James Bond?”

I shrugged. “Apparently.”

Chad looked at me. “So what now?”

I shrugged. “If life gives you lemons…”

Suddenly, the door opened, and Logan and Zach entered the studio.

Logan was 18 years old, a handsome guy with blond hair and blue eyes. He was the star of his high school’s wrestling team, and he had a fantastic body.

Zach looked like he could be Logan’s older brother. He was a muscular stud, blond and blue-eyed like Logan, but a bit taller and a bit more muscular.

Both of them were dressed casually, wearing jeans and t-shirts, with Zach wearing sneakers and Logan wearing heavy leather boots.

We had scheduled this meeting for a couple of promotional photographs for the website. But now, the plans had changed.

“Guys”, I said, “today we are going to make lemonade.”

I explained the situation and told them what was about to happen.

Zach grinned. “That’s a neat idea.”

Logan looked at me. “Won’t we get into trouble? I mean, we’re talking about a celebrity.”

I shrugged. “I was told by their representative to have him audition. And that’s exactly what we’re going to do. They threatened with violence if we didn’t do what they asked.”

Logan shrugged. “Alright.”

The next few minutes were used to prepare for the shoot.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door.

“Come in”, I shouted.

The door opened, and Alexander Ludwig came in. I hadn’t seen “The Hunger Games”, I had only heard about his role as a villain. I expected him to be rude and bulky. I was surprised to see a very attractive, very well-built young man with a friendly smile on a handsome face, dressed in a smart dinner jacket, complete with a black bow tie.

I found myself thinking that he’d be a marvelous James Bond. Maybe he was a bit young, but 10 or 15 years from now he’d be perfect for the part.

“Hello”, he said, smiling. “My name’s Ludwig, Alexander Ludwig. I’m here to audition for the role of James Bond.”

I nodded and shook his hand. “Nice to meet you. I’ve just talked to your agent.”

Alexander tried to keep a straight face, but I was sure I had seen a hint of an eye roll.

“How much time have you got?” I asked, looking at my watch.

“Oh, I’ve got all day”, Alexander said, smiling brightly.

“Great”, I said. “I guess we’ll need an hour or so.”

Alexander nodded. “That’s perfect. You know, my girlfriend Nicole is in town, and if we’re done in an hour I’ll have a chance to meet her. We haven’t seen each other for a while, if you understand what I mean…” He winked at me.

I smiled. “Sure.”

Chad chuckled. “You’re horny, huh?”

Alexander grinned sheepishly. “A man needs a bit of relief now and then, right?”

I smiled. “May I introduce you to our cameraman Chad, and to Logan and Zach. They will be your counterparts in the scenes we’re going to try out today.”

Alexander raised his eyebrows. “I haven’t prepared anything”, he stuttered. “Nobody told me to---“

I smiled. “No problem, Logan and Zach are going to improvise with you.”

The two studs grinned at the movie star who looked relieved.

“Okay, Mr. Ludwig”, I said. “We want to try something new here, and you are the one we want to try it with. The new Bond is going to be more sexy, and more daring.”

Alexander nodded.

I showed Alexander his mark, and Logan and Zach stood by his sides.

I sat down next to Chad, and said, “Ready to start, Mr. Ludwig?”

Alexander nodded.

“Okay, Logan and Zach, you are two goons on the villain’s payroll. You have told Mr. Bond to take off his shirt”, I explained.

“Do I struggle?” Alexander asked.

I shook my head. “Not at first. I guess you’ll know when you’re supposed to start struggling…”

Alexander nodded and took off his jacket. He untied his bow tie and unbuttoned his shirt, revealing a remarkably sculptured, hairless chest. Even though Logan and Zach were both well-built and muscular, I noticed them glancing with envy at the movie star’s naked upper body.

He looked stunning, like a greek god who had descended upon earth to fight hideous villains called Goldfinger and sleep with girls called Pussy Galore.

“Off with the pants”, Logan said.

Alexander looked at me with a hint of confusion, and I nodded.

Hesitantly, he took off his dress shoes and his pants. Now, he was wearing nothing but a pair of black socks and a pair of blue boxers. His legs were as buff as the rest of his body.

“Boxers, too”, Logan said sharply.

Alexander cleared his throat. “I’m sorry?”

“You heard me”, Logan repeated.

Alexander looked at me for help.

I smiled and nodded.

“But I don’t wear anything underneath”, Alexander said.

“That’s the point, Mr. Bond”, Logan smirked like a good old spy movie thug.

I chuckled. Logan was a pretty good actor.

“But I---“

Cued by a small gesture from Logan, Zach grabbed Alexander’s hands and held them behind his back. Logan reached inside Alexander’s underwear and grabbed hold of his genitals.

Alexander inhaled sharply.

“What are you trying to hide, Mr. Bond?” Logan sneered.

“Nothing, I---“

Logan twisted Alexander’s nuts and squeezed hard, making the blond Canadian yelp in pain.

“Oh, what’s that?” Logan said suddenly.

Alexander blushed.

“Looks like you are quite susceptible to a little touch of your nether regions, Mr. Bond”, Logan whispered into Alexander’s ear. “Little James is growing bigger…”

Alexander let out a low moan.

Logan’s biceps flexed as he kneaded Alexander’s balls between his fingers, his hand deep inside his boxers.

Alexander’s moans grew louder as he struggled to no avail.

There was a cruel smile on Logan’s face as he rummaged around in Alexander’s underpants, squishing and squashing his balls with his bare hand.

Suddenly, Alexander broke character and looked at me. “Stop”, he whispered. “Please, stop it, this is---“ He stopped midsentence to let out an ear-piercing scream as Logan yanked down hard, stretching the sensitive skin of his sac to its limits.

Alexander tried again. “Stop it”, he whimpered. “Is this really necessary? I mean, there are stunt men, and---“

“Shut up, Mr. Bond”, Logan growled like the true villain he was.

Alexander was panting heavily, grimacing and moaning in pain as his nuts were brutally crunched by Logan’s strong fingers.

A damp spot appeared the front of his boxers, soaking the skimpy blue fabric, and Logan didn’t fail to notice it. “I always thought you were a Ladies’ man, but that hard rod in your pants tells a whole different story…”

Logan and Zach chuckled, and Logan increased the pressure on Alexander’s testicles, making him squirm and scream.

Suddenly, the Hollywood hunk gasped and his eyes opened wide.

Logan quickly withdrew his hands, grimacing in disgust, and took a step back.

Alexander’s body convulsed and he screamed from the top of his lungs as a powerful orgasm washed through his body.

His cock exploded with a huge load of cum, coating the insides of his boxers with his nutritious cream. It looked as if a tornado was trapped inside his underwear. Every muscle on Alexander’s trained body tensed as he was caught in a moment of involuntary and awkward pleasure.

Batch after batch of sticky, juicy spunk unloaded inside his boxers, soaking them completely with his stud sauce.

Alexander’s face changed from pleasure to shock when he realized what had just happened. I could just imagine what was going through his head. He was probably thinking about his girlfriend and the fact that this load had been meant for her.

Logan unceremoniously interrupted Alexander’s thought with a powerful kick between his legs. His heavy leather boots connected with Alexander’s wet boxers with a thunderous splat, graphically flattening the contents and sinking into the impressive mound of Alexander’s genitalia.

I cringed as I saw the tent erected by Alexander’s boner get brutally torn down, and the shocked, agonized expression on his face confirmed my assumption that Logan’s kick had perfectly connected with its intended targets.

Alexander was struggling, and Zach was barely able to hold him.

The movie star’s cock was still twitching inside his boxers, unloading the last batches of this wasted cumshot. Spunk was dripping down onto the floor as Alexander groaned in pain, his face a mask of pain.

The tent slowly went up again, and I couldn’t help but marvel at the size of Alexander’s cock. Even if it wasn’t out in the open, the size of the tent was definitely impressive.

The button tab on his underwear parted slightly as his raging erection pressed against it, and I caught a small glimpse of the massive head that was straining against the fabric.

Apparently, Logan didn’t like the view, because he powered another nut-crunching kick into Alexander’s crotch, flattening the tent once again and making Alexander let out a high-pitched wail.

Finally, Zach wasn’t able to hold him and the buff actor collapsed on the ground, writhing in pain and clutching his battered babymakers.

The handsome Canadian groaned in agony, his hands buried inside his boxers, nursing his nuts and rocking back and forth.

We gave him a couple of minutes to recover and spent the time preparing for the next scene.

I cleared my throat and squatted next to Alexander who had a blank stare on his face.

“Ready for our next scene, Mr. Ludwig?” I asked cheerfully.

“They drained my balls”, Alexander whispered in disbelief. “They just squeezed a perfectly good load of sperm right out of my nuts.”

I nodded. “Now, ready to continue?”

Alexander looked at me. “You can’t be serious.”

I smiled. “Oh, trust me, I am. Have you seen Casino Royale?”

Alexander nodded slowly.

“There’s a certain scene that we’d like to reenact”, I explained. “It’s near the end of the movie, I think.”

Zach smiled and showed him a heavy piece of rope as Logan fetched a chair and placed it right behind the movie star.

Alexander noted right away that the bottom of the chair was missing, and his eyes widened as it dawned on him what was in store for his genitals.

I nodded at Logan and Zach and, like perfect henchmen, they grabbed Alexander and sat him down on the bottomless chair. Alexander struggled and pleaded, but to no avail.

Logan grabbed the actor’s dripping wet boxers and pulled them off, revealing Alexander’s impressive genitalia. A light layer of fuzzy pubic hair led to a big, thick cock that looked slightly sore. Due to its recent activity, it was semi-hard and some residue sperm was sticking to its shaft. Below the lazy, chubby schlong two big, hefty plums were hanging low in their sac.

Within seconds, the boys had tied him to the chair. His thighs were closed, and his cock was pointing up while his balls were hanging below them, a peaceful pair of vulnerable, recently emptied eggs that looked like they were waiting to be thoroughly scrambled.

“Mr. Ludwig”, I said. “I guess we can start with your line, ‘I've got a little itch down there. Would you mind?’”

Alexander stared at me.

“Mr. Ludwig?” I said patiently.

Alexander blinked.

“Your line, Mr. Ludwig”, I said.

The handsome movie star looked up at Zach who was holding the rope. It heavy and thick, with an expertly tied Manrope knot at the end of it.

Zach grinned and leisurely swung it back and forth, making the buff actor shiver with fear.

I sighed. “Mr. Ludwig, you---“

“I’ve got a little itch down there”, Alexander Ludwig said in a low voice. He stared at Zach, gulped, and continued, “Would you mind?”

“Sure, Mr. Bond”, Zach said, grinning. He swung the rope back and forth a couple of time to get a feel for the location of the knot in relation to its intended targets that were dangling happily beneath Alexander’s thighs.

Alexander looked miserable, a faint expression on his pale face.

Then Zach let the rope swing underneath Alexander’s body. It connected with a sickening splat, making Alexander let out an agonized scream.

Zach’s aim had been a bit off, so he only hit the movie star’s left testicle, but apparently that alone was enough to cause considerable plain.

“Fuck!” Alexander yelled.

On the next swing, Zach’s aim was better. The heavy knot collided with both of Alexander’s tender testicles and made them swing wildly.

Alexander’s body convulsed and he writhed on the chair, screaming from the top of his lungs.

Curiously, even though his cock had just spurted a massive load, it came to life again, rising slowly but steadily with every strike of the rope.

On the third and the fourth hit, Zach’s aim was a little off again, hitting his left testicle both times. But Zach got better and better handling his torturous instrument, and by the seventh strike, he had perfected his aim and had found just the right amount of force to flatten both of Alexander’s gonads, eliciting high-pitched wails and miserable groans that echoed through the studio.

By the tenth strike, Alexander’s dick had reached its full size, pointing at the ceiling like a loaded weapon ready to go off any minute. And despite the fact that he had shot his spunky ammunition not too long ago, his schlong looked like it carried another healthy cartridge of jizz. The first signs of it, namely a steady flow of precum that ran down his fat shaft, were already showing.

Zach was concentrating hard on his important task, lashing the knotted end of the heavy rope into Alexander’s plump spunk tanks with increasing force and admirable precision.

“Still itching, Mr. Bond?” Zach grinned.

Logan let out a laugh.

Alexander didn’t answer the question, he was busy screaming and panting and struggling against his restraints. Maybe a better actor would have managed to stay in character. Then again, maybe not.

The sickening thuds of the rope connecting with the hapless movie star’s juicy testicles grew louder and louder as Zach put more and more force behind it. In return, Alexander’s screams increased in pitch and volume.

Slowly, the two tender orbs were swelling, and – due to the restricted room in the scrotum – their swinging was reduced to a minimum. After twenty or thirty hard strikes, they rested stoically in their sac, taking their punishment with surprising patience.

Again and again, Zach slammed the rope into Alexander’s bruised and swollen nuggets, flattening them time and time again.

The handsome actor was screaming and groaning, coughing and retching, shrieking and yelling as his swollen balls were mercilessly pummeled. His dick swung back and forth, fully erect and dripping precum, as Alexander’s nuts were slowly turned into peanut butter.

Almost imperceptibly, due to the heavy swelling, Alexander’s nuts pulled up, trying to climb nearer to his massive rod. They snuggled up to his thighs as Alexander let out an ear-piercing scream.

Zach sensed what was coming and knew that it was time for the grand finale. He grunted with effort as he slammed the knot of the rope into Alexander’s balls with all the force he could muster.

“Fuck!” Alexander screamed.

His cock erupted with a powerful spurt of jizz that flew high into the air and came splattering down onto his naked body. The next spurts almost hit the same height, coating the movie star’s muscular body with rich splatters of creamy spunk as his nuts pumped load after load of cum out into the open.

He looked like a bizarre jizz fountain, his body strained, his mouth wide open, screaming in pain, as his cock sent jet after jet of potent, sticky juice up into the air.

Zach pummeled Alexander’s nuts one final time as his orgasm subsided. The knot connected perfectly with the hunky actor’s drained plums, ramming them into his body and eliciting another shrill shriek from Alexander’s lips.

A very last – and comparatively pathetic – spurt of spunk sputtered out of Alexander’s cock and slowly ran down his thick shaft.

Alexander was panting heavily, his body wet with sweat and sperm. His eyes were glassy and his lips trembled.

“Mr. Bond”, Zach smiled. “Are you still itching?”

Alexander groaned, closing his eyes. “No, thank you, that was very helpful”, he managed to croak.

His dry wit took all of us by surprise, and Zach, Logan, Chad and I burst out laughing.

Logan and Zach freed the actor and allowed him to curl up in a little ball and nurse his battered balls.

Half an hour later, Alexander Ludwig was fully dressed in his smart tuxedo. It was obvious that he felt a bit awkward putting on his cum-drenched boxers, and the after-effects of the comprehensive busting his balls had endured were clearly showing: The handsome actor was moving deliberately slowly and notably avoided any groin to object connections.

He looked at me expectantly. Apparently he still believed that this had been a serious audition. I decided to uncover our little hoax.

“Thanks for your time, Mr. Ludwig”, I said. Zach and Logan were standing next to me, grinning from ear to ear. “Let me be completely honest with you. We’re not a magazine. And we have no influence on the makers of the James Bond movie series.”

The actor stared at us. I half-expected him to lunge at us, but he just stood there and stared at us.

Finally, he said, “I guess I should have known that something was wrong when I saw the sign at the door. Ballbusting Boys.”

I shrugged.

Alexander groaned. He inhaled deeply and rested his hands on his knees.

“You got your agent to thank for it”, I said. “If she hadn’t called me I would have told you that you were at the wrong place right away.”

Alexander sighed.

“Anyway”, I said. “It was great having you here. Thanks for your time.”

Alexander avoided eye-contact. Suddenly, he grabbed the rope that was lying on the ground, and expertly swung it through the air.

It happened so fast, it took all of us by surprise.

The first one to go down was Logan to my left. The rope caught him square in the crotch, smashing his bulge hard and making him let out a yelp.

Then he hit Zach. The heavy knot flattened the impressive bulge in his pants and crunched his nuts with a loud smack, eliciting a wheezing groan from the stud’s mouth.

A split-second later, I felt the pain in my balls. They felt like they had been smashed between two bricks. My vision turned upside down and I felt my stomach turn. Fighting the urge to puke all over the place, I let out a cough.

In unison, the three of us fell to our knees with what must have been hilarious expressions on our faces. Like a brilliantly choreographed group of synchronized dancers, we doubled over and grabbed our crotches before we curled up, whimpering and moaning.

By then, Alexander Ludwig had left the studio.

I heard Chad say, “Wow, maybe James Bond would be the perfect role for him. Looks like he’s got some chops in martial arts…”

I groaned in approval and closed my eyes, consumed by the pain in my testicles.